


Sign of the Times

by DashingHeights



Category: South Park
Genre: Aged Up, Alcohol, Angst, Drugs, F/M, Fluff, High School, I'm behind on seasons fite me, Idk what happened, M/M, Sexy times eventually, Stupidity, Tags May Change, Underage Drinking, it's south park guys, mentions of inpatient therapy, side creek, there's offensive language in here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-01
Updated: 2019-10-29
Packaged: 2020-11-09 01:44:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 8
Words: 56,956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20845493
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DashingHeights/pseuds/DashingHeights
Summary: Things are changing in Kyle Broflovki's life. They're not very fast, but he can see them in the distance and it's scary. His friendship with Stan Marsh may not be what it once was, as Stan gets more and more caught up in being Wendy Testaburger's boy toy. His sexuality is in question and it doesn't bother him as much as it probably should. To top it all off, his once arch nemesis, Eric Cartman, may actually be stepping into the role of new best friend and he's not sure how to feel about it. Juggling all these emotions and changes is hard enough without making some pretty big mistakes along the way.But those mistakes might just be worth it.*There are smut warnings in the beginning notes of each chapter that has it, for those who prefer not to read that. If you don't like smut, you can still enjoy the story!*Cover art by me!





	1. Your Angst is Retarded

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so first of all, I told myself I would never get into South Park fanfiction because I knew- I just KNEW- that it would be a slippery slope for me. This is dangerous, guys, I feel like I have a weapon now. You have no idea the sin and fuckery I could create for this fandom. I haven’t been this inspired to write ANYTHING for months. MONTHS. And all of a sudden, I decide to get on Ao3 and check out some Creek fanfics but what do I find in the midst?
> 
> Kyman.
> 
> And my first thought? “But why tho.” Since my entire attitude towards the internet is sickened but curious, I read it, and afterwards I just kinda had to sit there and process what I had done with my time. This was at like 2 am, mind you. Next thing I know, I cranked out the first 1k words of this on my phone before passing tf out. What have I done?
> 
> Hi, I’m Dashie, I apparently ship Kyman now. I’m just as confused as you. This doesn’t have much of a plot, just my take on what the boys would be like in high school. They’re all juniors.

The air was crisp and chilly, fresh sheets of snow falling in tiny flakes. The lack of breeze almost made them look like raindrops falling in slow motion, settling on surfaces only to disappear into the mass of white much like drops in the ocean blue. In the heavy fog, Eric Cartman was almost a ghost of his normally easily identifiable form. Kyle had been idly watching him from the corner of his eye since they got off the bus. He was maybe a hundred yards away from where the ginger boy sat on the bus stop bench, not wanting to walk home just yet. Kyle was slouched forward, elbows on his knees with his mittened hands clasped together as he stared at nothing. His eyelashes and what few curls stuck out of his ushanka were collecting snowflakes and very slowly camouflaging him in with the rest of the scene. The only bright color left was that of his backpack tucked beneath him under the frigid, metal bench seat, which by now had made his thighs and ass numb.

It had to have been a solid two minutes since the bus had moved on and Cartman was still just standing there staring at him. At least, he assumed he was staring. He felt like his eyes were turned this way. Finally, there came the sound of the tiniest huff Kyle had ever heard and the larger junior started moving closer. Puberty hadn't been particularly kind to any of them, but to say that Eric Cartman hadn't improved in at least his physical build would be a lie. He was still chubbier than the other kids in their grade, but he was also a lot taller than most of them, too. If nothing else, he was more well proportioned now and you could tell he spent time doing physical labor at the auto shop. Kyle, on the other hand, remained a scrawny, gangly twig no matter how hard he tried to bulk. And it didn't help that he wasn't very tall compared to other boys his age.

He half expected the bench to sag as Cartman sat down at the other end, but Kyle supposed those types of thoughts were more habitual and less accurate now. He licked his lips, a poor choice considering the weather, and decided to break the silence first, "What do you want, fatass?" Another habitual act leftover from years of bickering and rivalry. Although it was hardly a real insult anymore, and Kyle barely meant it that way, anyway. Cartman leaned with one arm rested on the back of the bench, not looking at Kyle and instead down at his shoes while he fired back his own mock insult, "Hello to you, too, Jewboy."

Over time, the close-knit friend groups began to change. High school was a bad time for everyone, and some people coped better than others. However, as they all started developing individual hobbies, joining after school clubs and getting jobs, there wasn't as much hanging out anymore. Accept for the special occasions like holidays and school breaks, most students kept their free time reserved for just a few, select people. Kyle had tried a number of different activities before deciding baseball was his thing. However, there was no baseball in the winter, so this time of year he had little to keep him occupied outside of school. With his dad no longer at home, his mom having to get a second job, and Ike swept up in his middle school days of discovering online gaming, the house felt too empty. He hated being there alone and much preferred to either have people over or be somewhere else.

"So where's Stan at?" Cartman's voice brought him out of his daydreaming. He snorted, "With Wendy."

"I thought they-"

"As of this morning, they are back together, apparently," Kyle tried not to sound too bitter, but he couldn't hide the jealousy of Stan blowing him off for Wendy Testaburger. Their on-off bullshit was starting to grate on everyone's nerves. "Kenny?" Cartman raised an eyebrow. Kyle shook his head, "Babysitting."

"Oh." The other boy frowned, looking back down at his shoes. The silence between them wasn't awkward, but actually rather amicable. Eric Cartman had been admitted into a behavioral health facility the first half of freshman year, and since then had regular therapist appointments which seemed to improve his attitude and social skills. The changes weren't obvious at first, but little by little, people started to notice that he actually thought about the things he said before he said them. And his emotions seemed a little more genuine, if not awkwardly expressed. Truthfully, he didn't talk much to anyone outside of their quartet anymore. And even then, he didn't hang out on weekends and such without being explicitly invited first.

It wasn't abnormal for them to exchange small talk like this. However, something felt different this time. Kyle turned his body to face Cartman, "Why are you sitting here with me?" The teen next to him shrugged, "Because you're familiar and I don't want to go home right now." Kyle could understand that. As a single mother for almost all her son's life, Liane was always working and rarely home. Especially now that Cartman could basically take care of himself. "Why were you sitting here in the first place?" He returned; a quid pro quo routine Kyle had become comfortable with. It made Cartman feel better about sharing his feelings if people shared theirs back.

"... Because I don't want to be in that house alone," He mumbled after a few beats of silence. There didn't need to be a response. It seemed both boys were struggling with a sense of loneliness. All the same, Kyle wasn't expecting Cartman to clear his throat and suggest, "Well, uh.. I could come over, if you want. So you're not alone and.. I'm not at home." The shorter boy just blinked for a few seconds, processing this. On the one hand, it was odd for Cartman to suggest they hang out without the others. But on the other hand, this was the first time since starting therapy that Cartman was asking to be invited somewhere and that seemed like a good step to Kyle. What would be the point in rejecting, anyway?

He winced as he stood, the backs of his thighs and butt cheeks having started to warm the seat and now once again exposed to the cold temperature. Grabbing his backpack, he nodded and didn't wait to see if Cartman would really follow, "Alright." The crunching of heavier footsteps told him he was serious. He didn’t make any move to catch up, trailing along behind until they reached Kyle’s house. Cartman fidgeted on the front porch as the front door was unlocked, seeming to hesitate as he stepped over the threshold. “Ike!” Kyle called, half not expecting an answer, “I’m home!” He vaguely heard some shuffling from upstairs, a door opening, then his little brother’s footsteps as he came down to meet him, “Where the hell you been? Oh shit, hey lard boy.” Cartman just snorted and gave a noncommittal wave.

Kyle dumped his backpack next to the couch, removing his gloves and coat to be thrown over the back of it as he headed for the kitchen. He left his hat on, scratching under the brim briefly. “Bus took longer than usual today,” was his lame excuse for being home later than normal. Not that Ike was too concerned about what he was really doing, as long as his brother was okay. Ike leaned against the kitchen doorway, jerking a thumb behind him with a raised eyebrow as if asking what Cartman was doing there. The big guy was just looking around slowly as he toed off his shoes and stowed his gloves and hat in his backpack. Kyle just shrugged in way of explanation, then huffed as he sifted through cupboards, “Did you eat all the Doritos again, you hog?”

“Hey, I’m a growing boy!” Ike grinned, ducking away from Kyle’s attempted noogie, “God knows I need to eat a lot to make sure I outgrow you!” Kyle just stuck his tongue out at him with a half scowl, half smirk. “I don’t think that’ll be hard to do,” Cartman chipped in, a slight smirk on his face as Ike snickered. “Whatever,” Kyle just rolled his eyes, “Maybe I’m just waiting on second puberty to make me hot.” Ike scoffed and swung around the staircase banister as he made to head back up, “_Second _puberty? Sure, Kyle.” As his little brother ran back up the stairs, Kyle just rolled his eyes and shook his head fondly. He grabbed a box of crackers and a glass of water before heading back out to the living room to sit on the couch. Cartman sat on the other side, sighing heavily as he sank into the cushions, “Damn. My mom got me these new shoes and I’m still breaking them in. My feet are killing me.”

Kyle tipped his head lightly at the choice of conversation he was trying to go with. He didn’t say anything in response, just grunted and grabbed the remote to idly flip through cable channels. His guest didn’t seem particularly invested in whatever they were watching, doing something on his phone. He cursed and tsk’d under his breath a few times, causing Kyle to narrow his eyes and lean over to look at what he was doing. “Hey, didn’t anybody ever tell you it’s rude to look over people’s shoulders,” Cartman half scolded, turning his phone away at the last second. “Are you playing Chinpokomon Go?” Kyle asked incredulously.

“What if I am?” Cartman gave him a look, “You have way better spawns on this side of the block.”

“Is that why you wanted to come over, to take advantage of my great Chinpokomon spawns?” He was clearly holding in laughter. “Fuck off, Kyle, I’m not above standing outside your house to get Chinpokomon,” Cartman reminded him, “I don’t need to explain myself for that.” Kyle understood what he was getting at. That almost made him wonder if he’d ever done that before. He wouldn’t put it past the fucker. Just then, he felt his own phone vibrate on the arm of the couch. He glanced at the caller ID before picking up, “Hey Kenny, what’s up? Yeah, I’m at home. Well, Cartman’s here.” There was a pause and then Kyle rolled his eyes up to the ceiling, “No, just me and Cartman. Fuck you, Kenny, what do you want?”

Cartman could hear Kenny’s voice talking rapidly through the phone but he couldn’t make out any words. Kenny liked to ramble though, especially when he was high, which he more than likely was. After several seconds of silence on Kyle’s part, he eventually sighed, “Dude, you know you’re welcome here. But blaze up _before_ you get here this time, I can’t have my room smelling like weed again, Mom’ll skin me. She doesn’t care if I wasn’t the one doing it. Har har, see you when you get here.” He hung up before Kenny finished laughing. “Kenny’s coming,” He told Cartman, who nodded and went back to looking at his phone. There were a few minutes where the television was the only thing making noise, then Kyle opened the box of crackers and decided to munch as he stared off at nothing. After a while, Cartman sighed and put his phone down, “Sorry. This really isn’t much different from you being here by yourself, is it?” Kyle shrugged once again, stuffing another cracker in his mouth and talking around it, “No. You’re here. Even if we aren’t talking right now, there’s the potential for conversation, and that’s something.”

Cartman seemed to relax a little, reassured by that. He let out a long sigh through his nose, setting his phone on the coffee table and sitting up a little, “Do you still have your Wii?” Kyle raised an eyebrow, “Yeah. Why?”

“You still have Mario Kart?”

“You’d lose,” Kyle immediately stated on impulse, voice deadpan as if this were a fact that couldn’t be argued. Cartman guffawed, which made Kyle prickle just a little with irritation. “Yeah, we’ll see about that, smartass,” the taller boy smugly challenged. Kyle just stared at him for a minute, then snorted and got up to pull the old Wii console and Mario Kart out of the closet. He hooked everything up, then made sure the controllers had batteries before turning everything on. As he came back to the couch, he handed Cartman a controller, “I’m first player.” He was almost inviting an argument, he realized, and he wasn’t sure why. But Cartman, to his credit, didn’t react the way he anticipated. “Whatever makes you feel better about losing,” was the snarky comeback he got.

Kyle gave him a pointed glance as he setup their match, using Ike’s profile because he had everything unlocked. He half expected to fight over which character’s they picked, too, but though he knew Cartman used to exclusively play as Yoshi that wasn’t who he picked this time. “Bowser, huh? Guess the aesthetic suits you,” Kyle teased. Cartman reached over and shoved him, “Fuck off, if we’re going by aesthetic you should’ve picked Daisy.” Kyle scoffed, sniffing and moving on to picking a course. He had to internally chuckle that Cartman said Daisy and not Peach, but they all knew Kenny played Princess Peach on just about anything he could; for highly perverted reasons, no doubt. Both boys were sitting near the edge of the couch cushions, flexing their fingers and giving each other the side eye as the timer counted down.

Soon as the greenlight flashed, Cartman reached over and shoved Kyle against the arm of the couch, holding him there and steering with one hand. “Hey!” Kyle shoved back at him with his elbow, having to use his leg to push him away, “that’s cheating, you asshole!” His shoulder hurt a little, but somehow, he didn’t think Cartman actually meant to hurt him. If he had, it would’ve been worse. “I never said I’d play fair!” Cartman laughed. The genuity of that laugh threw Kyle off for a second, glancing over at his house guest and just staring. “Dude, you’re driving into the wall,” Cartman nudged his leg. Kyle shook himself and focused back on the game, trying to banish the image of Cartman genuinely laughing with his nose scrunched up and round cheeks tight, his eyes crinkled. That definitely wasn’t something Kyle ever expected to find- dare he say- _endearing_.

Because of this absurd distraction, Kyle lost the first race. He scowled down at his controller, “You cheated.” Cartman snorted and elbowed him in the side, “C’mon, Kyle, don’t take it so seriously. It’s just one race. I won’t do it again, okay?”

“You better not,” Kyle grumbled, clicking on the next raceway. Without distractions, he did win. As they were looking at the first-place trophy screen, Cartman tsk’d and shook his head, “Whatever. Where the hell is Kenny?” Kyle briefly checked his phone to see if he’d gotten any texts. Nothing. “He’s on his way, he’s probably just being slow because he’s distracted by the scenery or something equally as stupid. You know how he gets when he’s high,” Kyle offered in explanation. Cartman did know how Kenny got when he was high- philosophical and chatty, even towards inanimate objects. He was pretty smart despite what most people thought of him, but he applied his intellect to hardly anything.

There was a knock on the door, then. Kyle got up to answer it, unsurprised to see Kenny standing there looking down at him with a doofy grin on his face. As he’d gotten older, he’d had to ditch the usual parka for a bigger coat, but it was the same gawdy orange, so nobody really noticed a difference besides the fact that his face was visible. He often had cuts, bruises, and bandages somewhere on his arms and face. Growing up made Kenny’s home life shift in the perspective of others. They weren’t oblivious kids anymore; they could recognize abuse when they saw it. Kenny always brushed it off whenever someone brought it up. The only insight he’d ever given was that it kept his parents’ focus away from Karen; a statement which no one had any kind of response for. There was currently a band-aid taped across the top corner of his eyebrow, a yellowing bruise formed around it.

“Hey, Kyle,” Kenny half slurred, stepping past him and into the house. His grin only intensified when he laid eyes on Cartman. “Well, well, well! Look at Jekyll and Hyde here!” He sounded way too excited. Cartman gave him a strange look, “Uh, yeah. Hey, Kenny. How ya doin’?”

“Decent,” Kenny replied easily, still grinning stupidly as he plopped down in the armchair by the couch. He threw his legs over the side, sitting sideways and leaning back to stretch. He looked over at the TV that was still playing the victory theme. “Oh shit, Mario Kart,” he snickered, “you fucking nerds.” Kyle chuckled and went to pick up the cracker box, offering a couple to Cartman before passing the whole thing on to Kenny, who gave him the most discomforting wink and lip lick he’d ever seen. Even Cartman grimaced a little and he hadn’t even been the one it was directed at. Kyle cleared his throat awkwardly, his cheeks pink as he sat back down. Evidently, however, Kenny wasn’t done, “Aaaw, ain’t that cute. Damn, look at all those freckles! You can see ‘em super well against that blush.”

“Shut the fuck up, you stoner,” Kyle grumbled under his breath, hiding his face behind drinking his water. Kenny just snickered more, stuffing handfuls of crackers in his mouth as he wiggled his eyebrows at Cartman, “he hates his freckles.” Cartman blinked in surprise, one eyebrow raised, “Why? That’s retarded.” Kyle merely glanced at him and shrugged. There was a beat of silence, and then Kenny stretched and yawned obnoxiously, “Why are we just sitting here? We should go out and do something.” Kyle set his glass on the table, leaning back in his seat, “Like what, genius?” Cartman had no input, fine with whatever they wanted to do as long as it wasn’t lame as hell. His eyes scanned Kyle’s face for a moment, thinking it a shame he didn’t like something he obviously couldn’t change. Although, hadn’t he teased him for those exact types of things all throughout their childhood? He couldn’t help but wonder what other insecurities Kyle had now, and if any of them were caused by him. He didn’t really like the thought.

Since having therapy and learning to deal with his anger issues, Cartman was surprised to feel more emotions than just pleasure and anger. Specifically, he was left with an immense amount of guilt about the things he’d done in his past. The vast majority of people seemed to be forgiving of him due to the circumstances and the fact that he was genuinely changing for the better. He was very, very grateful for that. But that didn’t make him feel any less guilty about the things he’d never apologized for. Worse still was that he didn’t know how to apologize for them, or if there was even a point in that after so much time had passed. He’d talked to his mom about it a little and she told him that it was better to make sure people knew he was sorry than to assume, but that still left him with the dilemma of how to go about it.

“Cartman? Hey, Cartman! Earth to fatass!” Kenny’s voice broke him out of his thoughts. He glared at the stoned boy who was giggling at him, snapping irritably, “What, fucker?” Kenny just giggled harder, dissolving into the armchair in a fit of laughter. Cartman bristled and glared harder, “What’s so funny?” Kyle sighed to his right, “we were talking about walking to Tweak Bros for coffee and then picking up a pizza on the way back. Might help him sober up a little.” The larger boy pinched the bridge of his nose, nodding, “Yeah, okay. Sorry, just.. lost in thought.” Kyle once again shrugged, his answer to a lot of things lately, although he looked the slightest bit concerned for some reason.

Cartman stood first, popping his back and going to put his shoes back on. Kyle followed suit, mumbling something about going to grab his wallet as he headed up to his room. Kenny slunk out of his chair and stood by the door with Cartman, wearing a shit eating grin and rocking on his heels. Cartman glared down at him, pushing him away slightly so there was more distance between them, “Wipe that look off your face, asshole.”

“You were hardcore staring,” Kenny snickered, wiggling his eyebrows. Cartman was taken aback by his words, “What? Staring at what?” Kenny shook his head, much too pleased with himself as he corrected, “Not what.” He glanced over his shoulder as Kyle came bounding down the stairs two at a time. He grabbed his jacket and gloves off the back of the couch and met them at the door, patting his pockets to make sure he had his keys, “Alright, let’s go.” Cartman puffed out his cheeks and refused to meet Kenny’s mischievous eyes as they stepped outside. They waited at the end of the driveway for Kyle to lock the door, then started off down the street. It almost seemed colder than earlier, causing Kenny to pull his hood up around his ears and burrow down into his coat collar. Kyle seemed fine except that his nose was bright red after only a few minutes. His eyelashes were catching snowflakes again and Cartman really needed to stop noticing that.

How did he not realize he was still looking at Kyle while having his internal monologue? What a dumbass! It wasn’t as if he could explain himself, either, because he didn’t think he was ready to talk about his therapy stuff with them yet. His breath was white in the chilly air, an irritated puff escaping him involuntarily. “Getting winded already?” Kenny’s voice was muffled by his coat, reminiscent of their childhood. Cartman punched him lightly on the shoulder, “No, dickhead. In fact, I could walk faster than this if I wanted, but I have to be slow thanks to you short fuckers.” Kenny just laughed, knowing he primarily meant Kyle. Kenny was a decent height, not quite as tall as Cartman, but definitely not as short as Kyle was. He could probably keep up with longer strides, but Kyle likely could not. Not by just walking, anyway.

Kyle shot them both a glare, “I could keep up! Your legs aren’t THAT much longer than mine.” Cartman gave him a pointed look then picked up his pace to walk how he normally would. Kenny didn’t miss a beat in keeping stride with him, but Kyle did have to move his legs faster. He was panting soon enough, trying his best to stay speed walking and not have to break into a run. The other two glanced at him over their shoulders as he started to fall behind, but he persisted until there was a significant distance them. “Okay! Okay, I get it,” He lamented, pausing to catch his breath, “It’s not my fault I’m short, okay?”

“Nobody said it was,” Kenny patted his back almost mockingly, “we were just proving a point.” Kyle shook his hand off, stalking ahead without looking at either of them. Cartman couldn’t hold back an amused snort. He and Kenny kept pace with each other and let him walk ahead a little, allowing Kenny to make a very unnecessary comment, “That booty though, am I right? He might have short legs, but he’s got a runner’s ass.” Cartman knew this was most likely a ploy to get him to look at Kyle’s ass, which Kenny would then tease him for, for weeks. He didn’t fall for it, just sighing in exasperation, “What is wrong with you, dude?” Kenny tittered, “Homophobic, are we? I was just making conversation.”

Cartman pressed his hand to his face, letting his hot breath pool from his mouth and warm up his nose just a little, “You know I’m not homophobic, and no, you weren’t just making conversation. You’ve got some kind of weird angle, I just don’t know what it is. Honestly, I don’t think I want to.” Kenny just shrugged and sped up a little to walk next to Kyle. Cartman watched the back of their heads briefly, but after a minute or so, he couldn’t help flicking is eyes down to see what Kenny was talking about. Nothing special. Just an ass. Just Kyle’s ass. Why was he looking at Kyle’s ass again? He looked away and scowled to himself, internally cussing Kenny out.

They reached the coffee shop soon enough, passing some people who were leaving as they entered. Unsurprisingly, Tweek was sweeping around the sitting area while making conversation with his boyfriend, Craig. They both looked over at the sound of the bell. “Oh, hey dudes,” Tweek greeted them, leaning on the broom handle, “where’s Stan?”

“One guess,” Kyle sighed with a hint of irritation. Craig snorted and rolled his eyes, “So she took him back, huh? She’s just keeping him hooked. It’s a game for her.” Kenny clucked his tongue, “try telling Stan that.” The three sat down around the table with Craig, Kenny pushing his hood back and shaking out his hair. “Tweek, can you get Kenny something to sober him the fuck up?” Cartman rested his chin on his hand, elbow on the table. Tweek rolled his eyes but nodded as Kenny snickered again. Kyle once again scratched under the brim of his ushanka, his scalp itchy from wearing the damn thing all day. Craig noticed, snorting, “Just take it off, dude. We’ve all seen your Jewfro before, it’s not a big deal.”

“Oh, shut up, Craig,” Kyle glared at him. Suddenly Kenny lurched forward and snagged the hat off Kyle’s head, jumping back and skipping around the tables while laughing stupidly. “Hey!” Kyle immediately went after him, grabbing for the hat. He couldn’t quite reach if Kenny held it out in front of himself, so he stepped on his foot to get him to stumble. Instead, however, Kenny tossed the hat to Craig, who was now standing and obviously ready to play some monkey in the middle. “Stop! Give it back, you bastards!” Kyle demanded, his curly, red hair frizzed out all over the place. Craig kept it away for a good minute before throwing it back to Kenny. Kyle made to tackle him but before he could, Kenny yelled, “heads up!” He chucked the hat. Cartman stood up and caught it easily, laughing as both Kyle and Kenny went down between the tables.

Kenny continued to lay there and laugh, but Kyle got right back up and rounded on the asshole holding his ushanka now. He stomped over, trying to reach up to grab it, but unlike with Kenny and Craig, he couldn’t reach how high Cartman could hold it. “Give it here, fatass! Cut it out!” he was almost begging now. Cartman shook his head, putting his hand on Kyle’s head and easily holding him at arm’s length for a moment. The short boy pushed away, smacking his arm and then climbing up on a nearby table to try and reach. “Oh, please don’t _-nng-_ b-break anything!!” Tweek cried from behind the counter, to which Craig added, “Alright, enough. Kyle, get off the table. Tweek just cleaned those.”

Kyle glowered as he jumped off the table, holding his hand out expectantly to Cartman. Instead of just handing it over, however, Cartman pulled the hat down over his eyes, laughing as he was punched in the arm. Kyle shoved the hat back into place, crossing his arms over his chest and glaring around at all of them. Tweek brought a cup of coffee over to where Kenny was still laying, setting it on a table nearby, “Are you okay, Kenny?”

“Oh, I’m totally fine,” The boy on the floor chortled, pushing himself into a sitting position. “You’re all assholes,” Kyle grumbled, sitting back down and staring at his lap. “Lighten up, Kyle,” Cartman jeered at him, poking his shoulder. Kyle smacked his hand away, turning a seething glare on him that, in their younger years, would have been accompanied by a cruel, verbal jab. However, before Kyle could get anything out, Cartman was already backing down, “Okay, okay, Jesus.”

Kyle paused, his lip still partially curled in a snarl, cheeks red and bits of fiery hair framing his face. His expression was caught somewhere between skeptical and relieved, “What?” The tall brunette crossed his arms over his broad chest, propping his feet up on the chair between them, “I said okay.” Kyle was vaguely aware of the other three watching them, but he was still trying to wrap his head around Cartman giving up an argument. “You’re just dropping it?” His voice was bordering on demanding. Cartman frowned in legitimate confusion, glancing to the others as he tentatively asked, “Is that.. _not _what you want me to do?”

Kyle narrowed his eyes, not sure if he should trust this or if it was some manipulation tactic. He slowly settled back into his seat, “Okay..” Kenny snorted into his coffee mug behind them, sipping idly. Tweek made to once again clean the table Kyle had stood on, as well as fix some of the chairs that got pushed around during their keep away. Kyle’s phone vibrated on the table and he turned it over to see a text from Stan. He scowled upon reading it. “What now?” Craig asked from where he was leaned against the counter. Kyle rolled his eyes and sighed. “Just the same shit Stan says every time he and Wendy get back together,” His voice raised octaves mockingly, “‘Kyle, I think it’s permanent this time, we’re talking about college plans and blah blah blah’.”

“They obviously get off on this back and forth,” Kenny commented as he rejoined them, “why else would Stan keep going back to her? He’s not stupid.” Kyle scoffed, “Maybe because she’s the only girlfriend he’s ever had, and he doesn’t know any better. Whereas I know Wendy has seen other people during their broken-up moments.” Kenny cringed, holding his coffee cup with both hands, “Damn, dude.” Tweek and Craig were whispering to each other as a thick silence fell over the other three. Eventually, Craig raised his voice to them, “He’s not worth your stress, Kyle. I know he was your best friend, but-“

“He _is_ my best friend,” Kyle bluntly corrected, “Present tense, not past tense, thank you.” Kenny and Cartman exchanged looks and Kenny made a vague gesture with his eyes for Cartman to say something. The brunette shook his head subtly. If there was one way to immediately piss off Kyle, it was to insinuate that his friendship with Stan may not be what it once was. And Cartman already felt like he was walking on eggshells around their group, the last thing he needed was to offend the ginger. But Kyle wasn’t blind, “What? Don’t have eyeball conversations like I’m not here. Spit it the fuck out.” Kenny took a breath, more calm now that the coffee had sobered him some, “We just think that.. maybe you should put energy into something other than worrying about Stan and his relationship problems. Maybe you should find yourself a girlfriend! I heard Bebe talking about your cheekbones the other day.”

“My- what? No,” Kyle shook his head, once again scratching under his hat, “I don’t want a girlfriend. Besides, Bebe is your type, not mine.” Kenny shrugged, mumbling around his mug, “If you mean smokin’ hot, then sure.”

“What about a boyfriend?” Craig joked, Tweek giggling as he clung to his side. Kyle opened his mouth to respond but hesitated. He’d never actually thought about being with a guy before. The thought wasn’t as off putting as he expected it to be. Evidently his silence was a mistake because Kenny suddenly looked very interested, “Oh my god, Kyle, are you into dick?” The ginger boy sputtered, “What, no, I just.. No! Well, maybe.. I don’t know, okay, I’ve never thought about it before.” He could already see the gears turning in Kenny’s head and he feared whatever outcome they provided. He briefly glanced at Cartman, who looked utterly indifferent to whatever they were talking about, once again playing on his phone.

For a moment, Kyle thought Kenny might be letting this go, but then the bruised teen snapped and pointed at him, “We gotta get you a test.” Kyle looked bewildered, “A.. a test? What do you mean, a test?”

“I mean, so you can experiment! We should sign you up for Grindr or something, get you a booty call!” Kenny looked way too excited about this. “Kenny, oh my god, no,” Kyle protested, scrubbing his face with both hands. “That’s a dumbass idea,” Cartman idly input. They both looked at him in surprise. “Oh, do tell,” Kenny chastised, clearly offended they didn’t like his brilliant suggestion. Cartman locked his phone and set it face down on the table, folding his arms like he was about to say something serious, “Because Kyle isn’t the one-night stand type. The Jew’s sentimental as fuck, you don’t think something like that would weigh on his conscience? And then that’d just sour the experience for him. How’s he supposed to know if he likes guys if the only experience he has with them is as users?”

There was a beat where Kyle was sure this wasn’t happening. How did they get on this topic again? Both Kenny and Cartman were staring at him like he was something to be studied. Kenny tapped his chin, making a thoughtful humming noise, “You might be right. Besides, we don’t even know if he’s a virgin or not. You don’t want a dick bag for your first sexy time.” Kyle couldn’t believe what he was hearing, “I am right here, you sick fucks. And what the hell do you know about how sentimental I am, fatass?” Cartman just rolled his eyes, “Kyle, we spent most of our childhood looking for each other’s weaknesses.” Well that wasn’t a comforting statement.

Kenny finished the last of his coffee and went up to pay, Kyle brooding over the fact that his so-called friends were discussing pimping him out. As they were getting ready to leave, Tweek tapped Kyle on the shoulder, “Just give it some thought. Boy or girl, maybe having a significant other would be good for you.”

“How?” Kyle sounded skeptical. Craig decided to answer instead, “It’s like having a best friend but better.” Kyle blinked. Better than having a best friend? Shouldn’t that mean he would make his best friend his significant other? He very briefly imagined kissing Stan, but internally cringed at the idea. They were too much like family, it was too weird. And like Stan would ever give up Wendy to go gay for Kyle, anyway. He sighed, mumbling thanks for the advice and following Kenny and Cartman outside.

It was late now, and even colder than before. Their steps were hurried, little room for conversation as they made their way to the nearest pizza joint. They snagged a couple hot-n-ready’s and then beelined back to Kyle’s house before they froze to death. Cartman and Kenny jostled each other as they nagged for Kyle to unlock the door faster. They all pushed in at once, desperate to get out of the cold and feeling immediate tremors of relief as the heat washed over them. Kenny, who insisted on carrying the pizza boxes because his gloves were worn and thin and didn’t keep his hands warm, set their dinner on the coffee table before shedding his outer layers. Cartman once again removed his shoes, which Kyle suspected was less about respect towards the carpet and more about his feet hurting, judging from his earlier complaint.

Setting his coat over the back of the couch once more, Kyle noticed his mom’s keys were hanging on the letter box by the door. Just as he was about to call out for her, he heard her voice, “Kyle? Is that you, boobie?” The others learned a while ago not to make fun of this nickname, as Mama Broflovski could be a very intimidating woman when she wanted to, and she’d threatened multiple times to give them their own embarrassing nicknames if they were so jealous of Kyle’s. “Yeah, Ma. Kenny and Cartman are here, too,” Kyle answered her, gravitating towards the kitchen where her voice had come from.

She met him in the doorway, giving her eldest son a tight hug and removing the ushanka from his head so she could ruffle his hair, “How was school? Where’s Stan?” Kyle held in a sigh both at the removing of his hat and the mention of his best friend, “School was fine. Stan’s busy.” Sheila nodded, glancing to the pizza boxes on the table and then smiling at Kenny and Cartman, “Hello, boys. How are you?” Kenny gave her a cheeky smile, plopping down in the chair he’d occupied earlier, “Peachy keen, Mrs Sheila.”

“Always good to hear, Kenny,” She said, and she meant it. Kyle’s family wasn’t very approving of Kenny’s parents, and Sheila made it clear he was welcome at their house if he needed somewhere to go. She turned her attention to Cartman, “I hope you’re well, Eric.” He nodded definitively, “I am.” To the shock of most inhabitants of South Park, Sheila was the most encouraging of Liane’s decision to finally get her son help. And she was the most supportive of their family after he got out of inpatient and started going back to school. For the first few months, it was rocky and difficult to navigate any conversation with Cartman because he didn’t seem to know how to respond to anything anymore. Even his more biting remarks were sullied by his confusion. Sheila had berated Kyle to invite him over to dinner multiple times a month, which probably helped him relearn to be social more than anyone would admit aloud. But Cartman knew it, and Sheila knew it, and he held a newfound respect for her because of it.

“I hope you boys plan to share with Ike,” She gave them all a pointed look, referring to the pizza. Kyle chuckled and nodded, “we will, Ma.” She ruffled his hair once more before moving past him and up the stairs. He waited until she was fully gone before grabbing his hat and pulling it back on, then taking out his phone to text his brother that they had gamer food.

After an hour or two of watching TV and munching on pizza, Kenny glanced down to his phone and sighed heavily, “Motherfucker.. Alright, assholes, time for me to split.” Kyle stood to see him off, making sure the door was locked behind him. Cartman was on his phone again, ignoring the reruns of Terrance and Phillip they’d managed to find. Kyle turned the television off and cleaned up the leftovers, asking from the kitchen, “Hey Cartman, does your mom have a curfew for you?” There was a pause before the response, “Nawh, figured I’d just stay until my welcome runs out.”

“You know my mom doesn’t care how long you stay,” Kyle reminded him as he returned to the living room. The taller boy chewed his lip for a moment, then clarified without looking at Kyle, “It’s not her I mean.” The ginger just blinked for a second. Only natural he would expect Kyle to get tired of his presence eventually. Truthfully, Kyle thought he would, too. But he wasn’t, at least not yet. Moving to the hall closet, he pulled out an extra blanket and pillow they kept for guests, then brought them back over and laid them on the end of the couch, “You’re fine to stay here if you want. It’s the weekend, it’s not like we have anything going on tomorrow.” Cartman breathed a sigh of relief he hadn’t realized he’d been holding, “Thanks.”

He got up from the couch, getting a little, orange bottle out of his backpack and going to the kitchen to fill a glass of water. Kyle had never thought about the fact that Cartman was probably medicated, and he was a little surprised to see him taking whatever was prescribed. He must have been staring because Cartman’s face flushed in embarrassment and he grunted a quiet, “stop staring, Jew,” before knocking the pills back and chasing them down with water. “Sorry,” Kyle mumbled back, more deadpan and reflexive than anything. He suddenly wanted to ask what it was. What was he taking, what did they diagnose him with, what made him so God awfully unbearable before?

But that was no doubt incredibly insensitive and probably something Cartman wasn’t ready to talk about.

Instead, he settled on, “You take those with you everywhere?” Cartman nodded, finishing the glass of water and setting it in the sink, “In my backpack. Just in case I don’t end up sleeping at home.” Kyle raised an eyebrow, “Does that happen often?” Again, probably invasive and not something he should be pressuring an answer for, but he was curious. Cartman didn’t have to answer, but he did, “Uh.. yeah.. When I don’t sleep at home, I usually crash with Butters, but sometimes Tweek lets me stay in the back room of the coffee shop, too.”

“Oh,” Was Kyle’s lame response. He didn’t know what else to say, but his mother’s voice in his head was telling him he needed to be the good Samaritan. He took a breath and cleared his throat, “Well, you can always come over here if you need, too.” Cartman snapped his head up to look at him, “Are you serious?” Kyle shrugged and nodded, turning to head for the stairs, “Like Mom cares. And I don’t mind, either. Seeya tomorrow, dude.” He disappeared to the second floor and Cartman just stared after him for a while. Eventually, he went back to the couch and laid down, pulling the blanket over himself.

Kyle readied himself for bed, brushing his teeth, hanging up his hat, and changing into more comfortable clothes to sleep in. He laid down with a huff, checking his phone one last time before plugging it in for the night. Nothing else from Stan. Figures.

This was the part of the night Kyle hated the most. Alone with his wandering thoughts, he couldn’t stop thinking about what happened earlier at the coffee shop. He was really pissed at Stan, more pissed than he let on, because every time he’d think he was getting his best friend back, Wendy came in and snatched him up again. Kyle had told Stan before that he didn’t like how Wendy treated him, and that he deserved better. Stan had become furious, saying that Kyle was just mad Stan had a dating life and he didn’t. But that wasn’t it. Deep down, Kyle knew why he was so angry about Stan and Wendy. He knew the others were right. Stan was drifting away from him and he was trying to cling on; to preserve their friendship. He didn’t want to lose his best friend in the world since childhood.

He pressed his palms against his eyelids, sighing heavily. In the dark, he fumbled to grab his phone off his nightstand and maybe watch some videos or something to pass the time. But he couldn’t stop his racing mind, and eventually just sat up and stared at the wall in irritation. He glanced at the clock, hoping at least some significant time had passed. Two hours. Great. This was going to be a long ass night. The silence was already getting to him.

He huffed irritably and rolled off his bed, being as quiet as possible about stepping out into the hall. Though he couldn’t hear anything, he saw light coming from beneath Ike’s bedroom door and figured he was probably playing games when he shouldn’t be. He snuck past carefully, cursing every creak the stairs made and thinking they were way louder than necessary. Soft snoring could be heard from the couch, which Kyle peaked over to see Cartman snoozing away with his arm thrown over is eyes. The ginger boy crept around to sit in the armchair, curling up with his head on the armrest. The snoring gave him something tangible to focus on other than his own thoughts, which was a welcome relief. His heavy eyelids closed in no time, heartbeat relaxing until he could finally fall asleep.


	2. Stan's Whipped and Kenny Fuxalot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please excuse anything incorrect about Judaism, my ignorant ass doesn’t know the first thing about it, I just Googled what day is the Jewish day of worship and what ethnicity most members of the religion are.

The house was peaceful until about noon, when Ike came bounding down the stairs to see his brother still curled up in the armchair and Cartman laying on his stomach with his face smushed in the pillow. Ike froze, briefly confused but then shaking it off and slinking around to the chair. He snickered to himself as he reached for the lever on the side, then yanked it as quickly as he could. Kyle startled awake with a yelp, the back of the chair falling away from him and the footrest kicking up. His shout of surprise woke Cartman, who jerked his head up, eyes wide and confused, “Whas’it? What happened?”

Ike fell to the floor laughing, earning a less than impressed glare from his older brother. “Ike, you dickhole. What the fuck was that for?” Kyle slurred sleepily. His little brother had to force himself to calm down, breathing deeply, “Aw man, that was great. I got you both so good.” Cartman sat up with a huff, rubbing one eye and looking at Kyle questioningly. He didn’t remember him coming back down last night. Kyle didn’t meet his gaze, just rolled over in his chair and grumbled about his brother being a prick. Ike stood up and shook the chair, “Get up, Kyle, it’s Saturday. Mom’s gonna be down soon and you know how she is about Shabbat.” Kyle groaned, rolling onto his back and scratching a part of his belly exposed from his shirt riding up, “Fine.. gimme a minute.” He glanced to Cartman, who was evidently looking around for a sock he lost sometime during the night.

“Don’t suppose you’d like to celebrate with us, fatass,” He commented indifferently, either an invitation for him to stay or a hint for him to leave. Cartman wasn’t sure which, but he snorted and raised an eyebrow, “Not on your life, Jewbag.” Neither Kyle nor Ike were surprised. The brunette got up, having found and replaced his sock, going to the kitchen with that little, orange pill bottle once more. Ike gave Kyle an incredulous eyebrow raise, but Kyle just shrugged. Again. “Alright,” Cartman sighed, coming back to the living room and making sure he had all his stuff together, “I better get home. Thanks for, uh.. letting me stay over.” Kyle nodded, watching as far as he could until the taller teen was out of eyesight. He heard the door open and close, sighing through his nose.

“So,” Ike sat down in the space Cartman previously occupied, folding his hands like they were about to have a counseling session, “what’s that about?” He had a strange look on his face, like he knew something Kyle didn’t. “What’s what about?” He grunted, getting up from the chair to go put a couple pieces of bread in the toaster. Ike followed him, “Y’know, you getting along with Cartman and shit.”

“You call that getting along?” Kyle yawned, keeping his voice even. Ike leaned against the counter beside him, a smirk on his face, “Well it definitely wasn’t fighting. I only heard him insult you once since he came over yesterday. That’s a wild record, dude.” Kyle paused in retrieving the butter, his face scrunched up and hair a mess as he looked at Ike, “What are you getting at?” Ike hopped up on the counter, swinging his legs and grinning proudly, “I’m getting at the fact that you and Eric Cartman might actually be real friends now and that is fucking nuts.” Kyle scoffed and rolled his eyes, “Oh please. Me, friends with a racist, antisemitic fatass? Yeah, maybe when he stops belittling our entire religion.”

“Or maybe when he goes to therapy and gets help for whatever behavioral disorder he clearly has,” Ike suggested smugly, only reminding Kyle of the brief moment he’d admitted he _missed_ Cartman while he was at inpatient. He never made the mistake of mentioning that again and thank God it was only Ike he’d told. Kyle chose not to answer, ignoring Ike’s toothy grin of satisfaction that he’d gotten the last word in.

* * *

Cartman noticed his mom’s car in their driveway as he walked up to the house, taking a breath before opening the door and heading inside. He made to head straight upstairs to his room but passed her in the hallway. “Oh, Eric! I was starting to worry, you didn’t answer any of my calls.” Liane smoothed his shirt over his shoulders, having to stand up on her toes to kiss his forehead. “Sorry, Mom,” Cartman muttered, “I was at Kyle’s house.” He’d elected to ignore the calls from her because he wasn’t in the mood to hear excuses about how late she would be out. “I wish you’d tell me when you won’t be home,” She lightly chastised. He apologized again, leaning against the wall and wishing he could phase through it.

“Well, regardless, I hope you had a good time,” Liane smiled sweetly to him, heading past him down the stairs. He felt bad for thinking ill of his mom, but he was rather resentful of the fact that she’d leave for days at a time without warning. Why should he have to tell her where he’s going if she never tells him? Not that he wanted to know, but a little “hey honey, I’m going to be gone for a while” would be nice. He gritted his teeth and used every ounce of self-control he had not to slam his door as he shut it. His therapist had expressed how proud she was of him for being more in control of his anger lately. He’d hate to have to tell her he broke another door hinge when he went to see her on Tuesday.

He dropped his backpack on his chair, throwing his hat and gloves on the desk and falling onto his bed with a huff. It was barely big enough to fit him on it if he curled up. Stretched all the way out, his legs hung off the end, but his mom didn’t make enough money to buy a whole new bed just yet. He idly browsed the notifications on his phone, checking Twitter and Instagram before moving onto the texts. There were a couple from his mom saying she hoped he was okay, two inappropriate memes from Kenny (which he replied to with his own) and one from Kyle that came in two minutes ago, according to the timestamp. He raised an eyebrow, reading over it with squinted eyes.

_Ike thinks we’re friends. What a dumbass._

Cartman chuckled softly under his breath. He wasn’t sure if he considered them friends, but they weren’t rivals anymore. Still, there was something to be said about Kyle texting him this matter.

_I would never be friends with a daywalker._

Much as he ragged on Kyle for his ginger locks, he couldn’t imagine him any other way. He was the perfect posterchild for the Hebrew people; nose, Jewfro, and all. Honestly, ginger looked good on him. Sometimes when they argued and Kyle got particularly angry, Cartman liked to imagine his already fiery hair literally bursting into flames. The thought was comical and simultaneously mesmerizing. Kyle was stubborn, proud, smart, and so fucking irritating sometimes. Cartman both hated and admired his wit. His therapist had spewed some bullshit about him liking Kyle more than he realized. Something about children picking on their crushes, even though their case was pretty extreme.

Yeah, right. Cartman was barely starting to like Kyle as a friend, no way that could go any further. _Pulling pigtails my fat ass_, he thought with an eyeroll. Still, his stomach did a stupid little flip thing when another text came through.

_Thought so. Guess you don’t want to meet me and Kenny at Raisins later._

What a rat, challenging Cartman’s resolve like that. Oh, he bet Kyle would love for him to contradict himself. He tsk’d quietly, lips turned up in a playful half smile.

_I was already thinking about going there. Maybe I’ll pass you guys._

At the same time, he texted Kenny to ask when he and Kyle were planning on going to Raisins, so he could be sure to show up in time to catch a meal with them. After Kenny’s simple response, he got another from Kyle.

_Never expect Kenny to keep a secret, dumbass. Thanks for the $5 though ;)_

Cartman wrinkled his nose, wanting to feel irritated by that but only mustering slight embarrassment.

_Sneaky Jew_.

He sat up, looking over himself and deciding he should probably shower. He slept in these clothes, after all, after wearing them all day at school. Grabbing a clean outfit, he headed to the bathroom across the hall but paused. He didn’t hear his mother anywhere but decided to call out anyway, “Hey, Mom? I’m gonna go meet Kenny and Kyle at Raisins!”

“Okay, Poopsiekins!” Was the reply he got from somewhere downstairs, “Do you need any cash?” He thought about it. Since he didn’t have to pay for rent or any car currently, he had quite a bit of dough from doing odd jobs at the auto shop in town. He almost wanted to say yes just to waste her whore money, but he immediately cringed with guilt at the thought. “No, I’ve got some!” He answered instead, then disappeared into the bathroom.

* * *

The bell rang above the flimsy glass door, the smell of wings, potato wedges, and horny teenage boys filling the air. Kenny looked way too in his element, already getting coy waves and flirtatious smirks from some of the waitresses. As one of the smoothest and most attractive boys in their school (and also the primary drug dealer to most of the students), Kenny was a hound, and he regularly defended his title of highest number of lays. Next to him, Kyle seemed below average, especially where the ladies were concerned. Not that he cared, he found the whole thing to be ridiculous and stupid. Maybe it was his anger over Stan and Wendy influencing his opinion, but regardless, he was not interested in girls finding him attractive.

_What about guys_, his subconscious unhelpfully supplied. Now was really not the time to get into that.

He followed Kenny to a booth a ways down, but before they could sit, Kyle spotted a familiar head of raven hair a few tables away. He nudged Kenny, gesturing to the profile of Stan Marsh. They headed over to him, Kenny sliding into the seat across from him and grinning, “If it isn’t our absentee! What are you doing here by yourself?” Stan looked surprised but pleased to see them, grinning as Kyle sat next to him, “Hey dudes! Wendy’s working today so I’m hanging out for a bit. I was actually going to text you and see if you wanted to catch a movie tonight.” Kyle ignored the comment about Wendy, nodding eagerly at the movie idea, “Hell yeah, sounds fun.”

“It’d be great if you could spot my ticket,” Kenny mumbled sheepishly. Stan nodded, “Yeah, of course. We got you.” Kenny grinned gratefully, then spotted something behind Stan and Kyle and waved his arm in the air. Cartman easily approached them, sliding in beside Kenny. “Oh, good, you showed,” Kyle commented, smirking, “I was almost worried I’d have to give Kenny his five bucks back.” Cartman snorted, raising an eyebrow coyly, “Wouldn’t want your greedy Jew tendencies spoiled.” Stan bristled beside his best friend and was about to fire off a retort when Kyle held out his hand toward Kenny. “Fuck, dude..” the bruised boy scowled, digging another five dollars out of his wallet and begrudgingly slapping the bills into Kyle’s hand. “Aye!” Cartman looked bewildered, “stop making bets at my expense!”

“Oh, they’re not at your expense,” Kyle corrected him, cheekily tilting his hat back with his thumb, “They’re at Kenny’s.” Cartman was momentarily distracted by that little lip curl that meant Kyle was way too pleased with himself. He clucked his tongue, folding his arms over his chest, “What did you bet on, anyway?” Kenny sighed, “That you’d come even if Kyle was the one to invite you.”

“And that you’d make some stereotypical remark about my religion once you found out about the first bet,” Kyle finished for him, reaching to sip Stan’s basically untouched soda. Stan looked a little confused and also surprised, glancing to Kenny for an explanation that he didn’t get. Kyle and Cartman were looking at each other a little too intensely, but the air felt charged with something other than anger for once. “O..kay, well, uh..” He cleared his throat to break the silence, “what movie would we want to see?” Kyle adjusted to face them all more, resting his arm on the table, “We could always see It: Chapter 2.”

Kenny nodded his agreement while Cartman voiced his, “I’m down for that.” Stan gave him an incredulous glare, “Who says you’re invited, fatass?” Cartman scoffed, “you can’t keep me from going to the movies, Stan.”

“Yeah, but we can keep you from going to the movies _with us_.”

“Don’t be a dick, Stan,” Kyle chimed in, not looking at anyone as he continued to drink the soda. The other three just stared at him, Kenny snickering under his breath. “What?” Stan blinked in shock. Kyle scratched under the brim of his ushanka, “I said don’t be a dick. Cartman can come with us as long as he pays for his own ticket.” There was the slightest bit more malice in his voice than Kyle meant for, but he really didn’t think Stan had any right to make the decision on who went with them; not when he’d normally invite Wendy without checking if that was okay first, and certainly not when he hadn’t been hanging out with them because of her. Also, seeing Stan’s surprised and almost betrayed expression when Kyle defended Cartman was sort of satisfying.

Kenny stared down at the menu to avoid eye contact as Stan looked between him and Cartman. Cartman himself was staring at Kyle like he’d grown a second head. “Um.. thanks..” The tall brunette said, glancing down at the table as Kyle simply shrugged. Stan didn’t get to say anything else before Wendy came over to their table in her full Raisins uniform. “Welcome, boys. Cartman,” She didn’t look at him even as she addressed him. He wasn’t fazed, dipping his head in greeting, “Testaburger.” Kyle didn’t say anything to her, but Kenny smiled almost apologetically, “Hi, Wendy.”

“What can I get you all?” She asked politely, obviously channeling her waitress spirit. They agreed on a basket of wings for the table and ordered their drinks individually. Kyle expected Cartman to get something extra, but he didn’t. “Watching your figure, fatass?” He teased from across the table. Cartman scowled and kicked his shin, “Shut up. The medication my therapist has me on makes me gain weight easier. I’m trying not to encourage it.” They were all taken aback by that, both by the information itself and the fact that Cartman was just blatantly honest about something. Kyle felt a little bad for poking fun at something he obviously didn’t understand. “Sorry,” The second day he’d apologized to Cartman in a row. The taller boy just shrugged it off, “It’s whatever, dude.”

Kenny bit his lip, nudging Cartman and clearing his throat before speaking carefully, “You know.. if you were to open up to us about-.. yuh know, what happened at inpatient.. We wouldn’t judge you too hard.” The last part was obviously joking. Cartman swallowed thickly, looking down at his lap and fiddling with a string on his jeans, “Yeah, I know. But I can’t yet.”

“Why not?” Kyle asked before he could stop himself. Cartman almost looked like he might be sick as he shook his head, “I just can’t, dude. It’s too much.” He was acutely aware of them all staring at him as he adjusted his shirt collar nervously, “Fuck, it’s hot in here. Can we talk about something else?”

Wendy brought them their food and drinks soon enough, making heart eyes at Stan the entire time. He was clearly smitten, you could tell just by looking at him, and Kyle hated it. He licked his lips, making a quick decision to get on Stan’s nerves. He nudged Cartman’s foot under the table, “Hey, you wanna stay over again tonight? We can play my PS4 and whoop Ike’s ass in CS:GO.” It was Stan’s turn to stare at Kyle like he was some foreign creature. Kenny just snorted a laugh into his soda as Cartman blinked, slack-jawed in his shock, “Uuh.. Okay? I mean, sure. Whatever.” He wasn’t expecting Kyle to invite him over _again_. Hadn’t he had enough of him yesterday? What was going on here?

Wendy looked unimpressed, subtly shaking her head at Stan, who shrugged and shrunk in his seat sheepishly. “I hope we’re included in that invitation,” Kenny spoke up, grinning knowingly at Kyle. The ginger boy rolled his eyes and nodded, “of course, Kenny. And you, Stan. If you aren’t busy, that is.” Stan choked on his response, glancing to Wendy who just raised an eyebrow and then nodded as she walked off. He let out a breath, “No, no, I’m not busy. I’ll come over for a bit.”

“Sweet,” Kyle smiled but it didn’t reach his eyes. Kenny exchanged a blank glance with Cartman, who looked like he was thinking deeply about something. As they munched on their shared wings, he took out his phone again. Raisins had a Chinpokomon stop on it that he idled on, leaving the game open so he could see if anything good spawned. Kyle noticed, snorting in amusement. “What?” Cartman challenged, making direct eye contact with Kyle as he chewed on a wing. The ginger boy raised an eyebrow, relaxing back in his seat and sucking on a drumstick bone, “Nothing.” Neither averted their gaze, though Cartman was distinctly aware of what Kyle’s tongue was doing to that piece of chicken. They both seemed to realize what they were doing at the same time, eyes briefly widening before they quickly busied themselves with something else. They weren’t touching that with a ten-foot pole, nope.

“That was pretty gay, guys,” Kenny commented mischievously, earning himself an elbow to the ribs from Cartman, “Shut the fuck up, no it wasn’t. It was just… intimidation tactics.” He glanced at Kyle, who nodded rapidly, “Exactly.”

“Gay chicken with actual chicken!” Kenny erupted in laughter, slapping the table and causing the silverware to bounce. Stan looked a little disturbed. “Oh, get fucked, Kenny,” Kyle grumbled around another leg. Kenny just howled louder, earning looks from other patrons now, “I’d love to!” Stan shushed him, scolding him about noise disturbances and public decency. They pooled their money to pay the tab, Kyle taking pity on Kenny and covering his part, too (only fair since he’d robbed him of ten dollars just today).

“So, what showing do we want to see?” Kyle asked as they all got their coats and such back on to head outside. Stan was moving slower than the rest of them, no doubt stalling to see Wendy one last time. As he zipped up his coat, he said, “It can’t be too late because my family has church tomorrow.” Kenny and Heidi Turner were having eye sex across the restaurant, which he reluctantly turned away from, “Is there one at like, seven?” Kyle scrolled down the site he was checking, nodding, “Seven fifteen, yeah. Does that work for you, Stan?” The dark-haired boy nodded, hesitating in following them towards the door. Wendy rushed over and hugged him quickly, kissing his cheek and making him blush. She whispered something in his ear that he grinned at, Kyle quietly blistering with anger.

He cleared his throat, being careful not to sound irritated, “Do we want to hang out at my place until the movie, then?” Kenny and Cartman were on board and really didn’t have to say so. It was Stan’s answer they were all waiting for. Wendy whispered something else to him, then gave him a little shove in their direction via hands on his ass. Stan blushed and watched her walk away, then turned back to them and grinned, “Okay.” Kyle nodded definitively, leading the way outside. He shoved his hands in his pockets, having forgotten his gloves earlier. His ushanka was pulled down securely so if he buried his nose in his collar, only his eyes and some stray strands of hair were visible.

It was warmer than it had been lately, but that didn’t mean much when the high was still somewhere in the forties. As they walked, Kyle noticed Cartman had one earbud in, the wire disappearing into his pocket where his phone no doubt was. As they were now, Kyle and Stan were walking beside each other, behind Kenny and Cartman who were talking quietly up ahead. Stan broke their silence first, “Hey, I’m sorry I’ve been busy lately. Just trying to mend things with Wendy, yuh know?” Kyle resisted the urge to remind Stan that he was _always_ mending things with Wendy. Instead, he looked up at Stan and sighed, “It’s fine, dude. We just miss you, that’s all.”

Stan nodded, scratching his ear before asking carefully, “So.. you and Cartman are, what, friends now?” Kyle was about to reply the usual no but hesitated. Maybe it’d bother Stan to think Kyle was becoming closer to Cartman in his absence. “Yeah, something like that,” he answered, “he’s not so bad anymore. You know, after the inpatient stuff. If anything, he’s quieter. Definitely still an asshole, but quieter.” The weird part was that statement wasn’t false. Cartman was still a raging asshole deep down inside, but he was more behaved now. He seemed to have somewhat of a conscience, no matter how faint.

There was a shout from in front of them and they snapped their heads up to see Kenny being chased by Cartman who had snow stuffed down the back of his coat. “Get back here you stoner fuck!” Cartman snarled. When they were younger, Kenny would’ve easily outrun him, but he was taller and more muscled now. It didn’t take much for Cartman to catch up and grab Kenny by the waist. He dumped him in the snow face down, holding him there for a second before letting him up. Kenny was laughing hysterically, rolling over onto his back and cackling at the sky.

Cartman kicked snow at him, having to momentarily take off his coat to shake it out, “Suck my balls, Kenny, that shit ain’t funny.”

“it’s kinda funny,” Kyle snickered, but immediately regretted his words when Cartman locked eyes with him. He gulped, scrambling to run the other direction but it was too late. He was caught in a headlock as Cartman yanked his hat off his head. “Hey!” He struggled against the hold, punching the taller teen in the side to no avail, “lemme go!” Cartman packed snow into Kyle’s ushanka before putting it back on his head, letting go of him so he fell backwards into a snowbank. “Agh, God, Cartman!” Kyle glowered, ripping his hat off to get the snow out. The brunette dickwad was laughing now, “Okay, you’re right. It _is_ funny!”

Kyle stood up, fuming, hat clenched in his fist as his face turned a brilliant shade of scarlet. He scooped up a ball of snow and chucked it at Cartman’s stupid face, catching him square in the jaw and making him stumble. There were several seconds of silence where they all stared around at each other, then all hell broke loose. Each boy took cover behind a different snowbank, throwing snowballs at whoever wasn’t hidden well enough. Their fight lasted a good few minutes before Kenny called time because he’d dropped his phone in the snow. Just as well, Kyle’s ungloved hands were really starting to freeze.

They regrouped and started down the street once more, Kenny upfront and moving the fastest because he wanted to get indoors and make sure his phone was fine. Cartman came up and put a hand on Kyle’s shoulder, the other offering his gloves for the smaller boy the wear, “Sorry about your hat.” He barely looked sorry, a laugh poorly hidden behind dark eyes filled with the aftermath of excitement. Kyle noticed a red welt forming where he’d first hit him with that snowball. He took the gloves gratefully, “It’s okay. Sorry about your face.” Cartman laughed, hand falling back to his side, “As if it could get any worse.”

Stan was beside Kyle watching this incredibly odd exchange. What the hell had happened while he wasn’t with them? Of the three, Stan had talked to Cartman the least after he’d gotten out of inpatient treatment. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he didn’t believe the bastard could truly change his ways, let alone redeem himself from the damage he’d already done. Apparently, he was alone in that thought, which wasn’t something he ever expected to discover. He shouldn’t be surprised because that’s the kind of person Kyle was; always willing to give people the benefit of the doubt. And Kenny couldn’t give less of a fuck who he hung out with or what kind of person they were. Still, the feeling was almost alienating.

Once they reached Kyle’s house, Kenny hurried inside to find some minute rice to soak his phone in. It was probably completely unnecessary, but he wanted to be sure. Kyle gave Cartman’s gloves back and hung his hat up to dry on the hat rack. All boys toed their shoes off and draped their coats over the back of the couch, then followed Kyle up to his room. It seemed a lot more cramped than when they were young, but four teenage boys would do that to a small bedroom. Kenny hopped into the desk chair, causing it to spin as he cradled his bowl of phone rice. Stan went to sit beside Kyle on his bed, familiar territory for his best friend. As they flipped through Netflix and discussed what show to watch, Cartman settled on the floor in front of the bed.

“We should play Smash,” Kenny suggested instead of a show, knowing Kyle had gotten a Nintendo Switch and Super Smash Bros for his birthday a few months ago. “We’ll have to trade off,” Kyle said, getting up to put the Switch on the docking port and change the input on the television. Kenny and Stan both held out their fists at the same time, waiting for Cartman to get the hint that they would rock, paper, scissors for who got to play first. Kyle was a given since it was his Switch. Kenny won two out of three, taking the Joycon excitedly. Cartman let Stan have the next turn, and they traded off easily whenever a round was completed.

After a while, Sheila poked her head in the room and grinned in surprise, “hello, boys! Oh, Stan, it’s been so log since we’ve seen you!” Kyle ignored that comment but was secretly glad even his home noticed. Stan flushed and chuckled lightly, “Yeah, it’s good to see you, too, Mrs Sheila.” Kyle handed his Joycon to Cartman as he got up to talk to his mom, “We’re gonna go see the new It movie tonight, if that’s okay. And then Kenny and Cartman are gonna stay the night.” Sheila furrowed her brow, “Is Stan not staying over?”

“His family has church tomorrow,” Kyle repeated Stan’s lame excuse, even though he’d stayed over on Saturday nights for years before, “He’ll be here for a little bit but not all night.” She nodded slowly, something on her face that Kyle didn’t necessarily like, “Okay, Boobie. Just let me know if you need anything.” He assured her they would as she kissed his cheek. “Such a mama’s boy,” Cartman teased as Kyle came back and sat down behind him on the bed. “Such a mama’s boy,” Kyle repeated in a high-pitched voice, clearly mocking. He reached forward and pinched between Cartman’s neck and shoulder, causing him to scrunch up and shrink away, “hey, hey, okay! Jesus, you’re gonna make me lose!”

Kyle snickered, pleased with himself, loosening his grip and rubbing his thumb against the tensed muscles of Cartman’s neck. The brunette froze, letting Kenny get the upper hand and knock his character off the landscape. “Uh.. Kyle?” He tentatively asked, glancing over his shoulder. His eyes flicked between the Jewish boy and his fingers, “What are you doing?” Honestly, Kyle hadn’t really meant to do it. It was just a weird thing that kind of happened. He pulled his hand back, trying to look as nonchalant as possible as he shrugged. He refused to meet Cartman’s eyes, staring at the TV, “You’re losing.”

Stan had a clear view of the exchange from where he sat next to Kyle. This whole situation was getting weirder and weirder by the second. Although, judging by the way Cartman reacted, that had never happened before. What was going on with Kyle lately? The moment passed and they were soon back to calling each other dirty names as they battled it out in Smash. When the movie showing neared, Kyle turned the TV off and stood to stretch, “Alright, let’s head over. I want to get good seats for this one.” The others followed suit, gathering up their cold weather gear once more. “Don’t forget your gloves this time, Jewboy,” Cartman sniffed idly, earning a halfhearted glare from Kyle. “Shut up, fatass,” He quipped back, but it lacked any real malice and Cartman knew it. He smiled to himself as they headed down the stairs.

“One of us really needs to get a car,” Kenny commented, side eyeing Kyle, who they all knew was the most likely to get a vehicle first. He rolled his eyes, “Tell my mom that, dude.” As they stepped outside, Cartman asked, “Can we stop at my house on our way back? I need to get some stuff to stay the night.” Stan was going to ask what, but Kyle already nodded, “Yeah, no problem.” He figured Cartman probably meant his medication and maybe a change of clothes or something. He wasn’t going to let Stan give him the Spanish Inquisition on the matter; he didn’t deserve to. Not that Kyle had any right, but Stan especially didn’t.

They walked to the theater mostly in silence, Stan’s mind racing with a million questions and thoughts he wanted to voice to Kyle. He couldn’t help but feel like the shorter boy was angry with him, but he wasn’t sure why. Sure, he’d been spending a lot of time with Wendy lately, and sure he knew Kyle didn’t like her all that much, but they were best friends! Shouldn’t Kyle be understanding if Stan wanted to spend time with someone else? They’d spent at least half their waking hours together since they were kids, some time apart couldn’t hurt them that badly. Although, he didn’t expect time apart to open the door for Kyle and Cartman to become friends, either.

They bought their tickets at the counter and headed into the dark theater. Thankfully, most of the seats were still available for their choosing. They shuffled into an aisle near the front, getting a good spot in the center. Kenny was first in and sat on one end. Kyle subtly switched places with Stan so he could sit between him and Cartman, both because he didn’t want them to fight during the film and because he was still trying to make Stan jealous. He was debating getting Cartman in on it, but that would be a conversation for later.

The theater filled quickly, and the venue was abundant with excited chatter and whispered film theories. When the lights dimmed, the noise went with it as everyone turned to the big screen in anticipation. At the first jump scare, Kyle sucked in a quick breath, hands instinctively grasping the armrests on either side of him. However, on his left side, he ended up with a handful of Cartman’s jacket because his arm was already there. The brunette smirked over at him, whispering between them, “Don’t be chicken shit, Kyle.” The ginger boy yanked his hand back and stuffed it in his jacket pocket, huffing irritably, “Shut up, Cartman. I’m not scared, I was just surprised.”

“Sure,” Cartman feigned acceptance of that fact, hiding his smug smile by looking back at the screen. Kenny shushed them from the other side of Stan, giving them a dirty look. Ignoring the flush creeping up his cheeks, Kyle returned his focus to the film, holding the sides of his hat so he could pull it over his eyes if he needed to.

Once the movie was over, a lot of people got up to clap. Kyle always hated that because it was stupid that they were clapping at the screen. A play with real actors, sure, but a pre-edited movie? He really wanted to tell them all to sit the fuck down. Especially because they had to wait for a couple beside them to finish clapping before they could get out of their aisle. “I thought that was really well done,” Stan commented as they stepped outside. Kenny nodded eagerly, “Yeah, the way they swapped between the young and old actors was pretty seamless.” Kyle had been freaked out at some parts, but he enjoyed the movie overall, smiling and nodding to Kenny and Stan’s conversation. Cartman didn’t say anything, but he was smiling, too.

“So,” Kyle started them off down the street, “Cartman’s house and then mine.” The tallest boy looked surprised that Kyle remembered but nodded. “Yeup,” He popped the ‘p’ at the end, “thanks, by the way.” The others just shrugged and dismissed his expressed gratitude. It wasn’t like it was super out of the way, anyway. Stan pulled out his phone to check any texts he’d gotten during the movie. He bit his lip at something, clearly fighting a smile. Kyle pretended not to notice, but then Stan cleared his throat, “Actually, guys, I think I’m gonna head home early. I’m really glad we did this, though, I’ve missed hanging out.”

_Sure you have_, Kyle thought vindictively, but didn’t voice his annoyance. Cartman and Kenny looked unsurprised, just bidding Stan farewell as he headed down a different street. “That’s not the way to his house,” Kyle quipped idly, staring at the ground straight in front of him. Kenny sighed and Cartman grunted, neither bothering to say anything because they all knew where Stan was really going. “Fuck him,” Cartman decided after several quiet minutes passed. “Huh?” Kyle blinked over at him, eyebrows raised. “Fuck him,” Cartman repeated, “if he wants to be a Testaburger pawn, that’s his prerogative. Doesn’t mean we have to be bothered.”

Kenny grinned, voice firm as he agreed, “Yeah, fuck him. You don’t need Stan, Kyle, you’ve got us!” he threw an arm around Cartman’s neck, which looked quite comical because it forced the taller teen to hunch down a bit. Kyle felt something well up in his throat, blinking to prevent tears from forming in his eyes. Something about that sentiment meant a lot to him. He scratched under his hat, subtly wiping his eyes by pretending to push his hair out of them, “Thanks, I guess.”

Cartman was quick in and out of his house, only having to grab his backpack and a change of clothes just in case. Kenny hummed as they made for Kyle’s place, a tune they all recognized. When they made it inside, Kyle noticed a note taped to the inside of the front door.

_Took Ike to a hockey game. We’ll be back late! Love, Mom._

“Awesome,” Kenny grinned, having read over Kyle’s shoulder, “just us, then. Hey, do you mind if I shower?” The Jewish teen shook his head, “Nawh, go ahead. Just put things back where they go.” Kenny rushed up the stairs to Kyle’s bathroom. He took any chance he got to shower somewhere that wasn’t his house because their shower was old and filthy and had barely any water pressure. Cartman sat down on the couch, rubbing his feet and wincing lightly. Kyle chewed his lip, debating if now was the time to bring up the Stan thing. He took a breath, hanging up his coat and stowing his gloves in the pockets. He sat in the armchair beside Cartman, chewing his tongue. “Oh Christ, what is it?” Cartman sighed, obviously having guessed Kyle wanted to talk about something.

“Just hear me out, okay?” Kyle almost pleaded, scratching his cheek, “I think the possibility of us being friends bothers Stan and I kind of want to keep bothering Stan.” He was met with a blank stare, Cartman searching his face for whatever the hell that was supposed to mean, “… Okay?”

“What I mean is,” Kyle spoke carefully, swallowing his pride as he forced out, “I may want us to hang out more and shit to make Stan jealous.” Silence, and then Cartman burst out laughing. Kyle bristled, “I’m serious, fatass.” Cartman shook his head, rubbing his eye, “Oh, I know. That’s why it’s so funny. I can’t believe I just heard that from you.” Kyle huffed, rolling his eyes and folding his arms over his chest, “Yeah, yeah, I must sound pathetic.” Cartman squinted in confusion, tilting his head, “No, that’s not what I’m laughing at. I’m laughing because you basically just asked me to be friends with you and I _never_ thought I’d _ever _hear those words come out of your mouth.”

Kyle slouched a little, feeling put on the spot, “Well.. that’s not so bad, is it? Us being friends.” Cartman leaned back on the couch, his mouth crooking up in a half smile, “… No. That’s not so bad. And if it bothers Stan, even better. But I’m not gonna stop calling you names or making fun of you.” Kyle let out a breath of relief, chuckling almost hysterically, “I wouldn’t be dumb enough to expect that much of you.” Rubbing his chest, Cartman looked up at the ceiling, hearing the shower faintly, “So, is this like, a scheme or are we just gonna act normal but with the friendship label now?”

“I guess we just act normal,” Kyle slouched in the armchair, “I didn’t really have anything in mind specifically. I just…” He trailed off, drawing Cartman’s gaze once more. Kyle puffed, “I think I felt like I was using you and I wanted you to know I wasn’t. Even though I don’t think I actually was. I don’t know, dude, it’s confusing.” The brunette snorted and chuckled, “Okay. I mean, it’s whatever. I don’t care if I’m a tool for you to fuck with Stan.” Kyle cringed, “Don’t say it like that.. he’s still my friend, I’m just pissed about Wendy. He straight up ditched us earlier, dude.”

Cartman stretched out on the couch, arms behind his head, “I know he did. Like I said, fuck him.” That honestly put a smile on Kyle’s face. He set his phone on the coffee table, flipping out the footrest on his chair and leaning back, “Yeah. Fuck him.”


	3. Here's Your Sign

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to the people who have left me amazing comments so far! <3 You have no idea how much it means to me! Also, I rewrote like more than half of this because I absolutely hated it lmao. And I debated taking the dancing part out but it’s fucking funny, okay? Enjoy the cringe. Yes, we did the Cupid Shuffle at my high school prom and we were like 10 years too late for that song.
> 
> ALSO, APPARENTLY MICROSOFT WORD HAS A DARK MODE AND YOU CAN CHANGE THE COLOR OF YOUR PAPER??? DUDE, NIGHT WRITING JUST GOT SO MUCH EASIER TO DO.

Kyle was curled up in the armchair again, Kenny slumped against the arm of the couch and Cartman half laid out on the rest of it. They’d been marathoning Marvel movies the night before, having several heated debates on which hero was the best and/or worst before they had fallen asleep. Kenny was the first to stir. His back and neck popped as he stretched, pushing against Cartman’s feet. The burly teen pushed back, grunting and screwing his face up in irritation, “Stop.”

“You stop,” was Kenny’s bleary response, yawning widely. Kyle shifted at the sound of their voices, grumbling under his breath something that sounded suspiciously like, “God, shut up.” Kenny blinked at the bright morning light filtering through the window, gaining a little more focus before smacking Cartman’s leg, “Hey. I’m hungry.” Cartman groaned, burrowing his head under the pillow he was using, “Why are you telling me?” Kyle huffed, rubbing his eyes and sitting up with some effort. He briefly glanced at Kenny and Cartman before getting up and heading to the kitchen. Kenny followed eagerly.

“Pancakes?” The poor boy heavily suggested. Kyle sighed, barely concealing a smile, “Way ahead of you, dude.”

“Too bad you don’t have bacon,” Cartman quietly commented from the doorway, leaning against it and brushing his fingers back through his hair. Kyle was going to challenge how the hell he knew they didn’t have bacon but decided not to. Cartman noticed his defiant lip curl, though, and snorted a chuckle, “Gee, it’s almost like I know your religion doesn’t allow you to eat pork. Imagine that.” Kyle mocked his stupid voice under his breath, pulling out the ingredients to make pancakes and eggs. “You’re lucky I can’t eat fat pigs,” He sniffed, sorting through what he had so far, “I’d eat you raw.”

Kenny smacked the table and threw his head back in laughter as Cartman half choked, half guffawed, “Ooh boy, phrasing. Jesus, Kyle.” He got a stern glare for his trouble, but he could clearly see the blush blazing across Kyle’s cheeks. The Jew was so expressive and Cartman honestly craved that brazen look in his eyes, even if the rest of his features completely contradicted that confidence. His pale skin looked good with a flush, which was a bordering on inappropriate thought that he quickly dismissed.

Cartman pushed off the doorway and headed over to take the job of cooking eggs off Kyle’s hands. The ginger boy raised an eyebrow but said nothing. Kenny watched them stand side by side, their backs to them as they both prepared their work surfaces. It was an interesting sight but not an unwelcome one. Honestly, his friendship with each of them was better the more they got along. Even if the level they were getting along at was surprising, it was unarguably refreshing. Kyle mumbled to ask for the cooking spray, which Cartman passed him without a second thought. Once the first egg was cracked, Cartman waited for the edges to brown before he picked up the pan and shook it a little, then flipped the egg without a spatula.

He gave Kyle a challenging smirk. Kyle narrowed his eyes, picking up his own pan with the first pancake in it and copying his actions. He stuck his tongue out smugly. Cartman put the first egg on a plate, then cracked a second one and proceeded to do the same thing but flipping the egg higher this time. Kenny could already see where this was going but he wasn’t about to get in the middle. Kyle scoffed as if unimpressed, flipping his second pancake in the same fashion but managing a double flip this time. “Oh, it’s gonna be like that,” Cartman chuckled, to which Kyle grinned complacently with a nod.

Cartman cracked two eggs in his pan this time, making both Kenny and Kyle look a little nervous. He held up a finger to tell them to just wait, carefully shaking the pan before flipping both eggs at the same time. He successfully caught both, and Kyle let out a relieve sigh, “Yeah, right. Fluke. Bet you couldn’t do it twice in a row.” Kenny facepalmed behind him as Cartman readied two more eggs. Kyle held his breath as the pan shook, and then the eggs were flipped. One landed fine, but the other ended up on the stove top, sizzling and causing smoke to billow briefly. Cartman and Kyle both scrambled to turn off the stove and remove the egg as Kenny just cackled at them.

“Really not helping, Kenny!” Kyle chastised through clenched teeth, his fingers burning from grabbing the hot egg. He held his hand under the cold, running water of the kitchen sink as Cartman did his best to scrape off the burnt pieces of egg. He was sort of laughing awkwardly, “Uh.. Okay, so I can’t do it twice in a row.” Kenny laughed harder, “Good lord, your rivalry is still alive and well, if not mundane as fuck.” Kyle gave him a mildly sour look. Cartman stepped up beside Kyle to look over his shoulder, “You okay? Sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Kyle chuckled, rubbing his cold fingers together. He’d caught it in time that the burn wouldn’t blister, at least. He turned to look at Cartman only to realize he was closer than anticipated. He grunted as he almost faceplanted into his neck, taking a step back as the taller boy did the same. He cleared his throat, “Um.. yeah. It’s whatever. I’m fine.” Kenny looked like an insane ‘it only takes 28 muscles to smile’ advocate as he glanced between his two friends. Cartman rubbed the back of his neck, moving to finish cleaning up and then dish everyone the eggs that were successfully made.

Kyle followed suit with the pancakes. They sat down on either side of Kenny, avoiding eye contact. Kenny was positively tickled by this turn of events, humming to himself as he ate his breakfast. “Thanks, guys,” He smiled innocently, “you know, you make a pretty good team.” Cartman coughed and cleared his throat gruffly as Kyle slurped a glass of water loudly. They both made noncommittal noises of acknowledgement that only fortified Kenny’s assumptions. Seemed to him that the best way to cure Kyle’s best friend withdrawal and Cartman’s antisocial habits was obvious. _Check-fucking-mate_, he tittered proudly to himself.

Ike came down a little later, while they were cleaning up, and Kyle pointed him to a pancake he’d been sure to save. Ike thanked his brother, then did a double take as Cartman turned to him, “Dude, what happened to your face?” Cartman narrowed his eyes, glancing to Kyle as he reached up to feel the bruised welt his snowball had left on his right cheek, “Is it bad? It doesn’t really hurt.” Kenny snickered, “It’s pretty red. Nothing some ice wouldn’t help, I’m sure.”

“Ice is what did this in the first place,” Cartman grumbled, sitting back down at the table and rubbing his cheek. Kyle bit his lip, getting out a bag of frozen peas and a kitchen towel. He wrapped the peas in the towel and handed it to the brunette, sitting beside him across from Ike, “Here.” Cartman grunted, wincing as he pressed the cold compress to his face, “Thanks..” Kyle nodded, “Sorry it had to be vegetables. We probably have a bag of frozen chicken wings if you want that instead.” Cartman let out a sudden and hearty laugh, nudging the him lightly, “Fuck off, you ginger.” Kyle subconsciously ran a hand back through his hair, laughing lightly with him.

Kenny leaned against the table beside Ike, whispering something in his ear that had the younger boy’s eyes nearly bugging out of his skull. He gave Kenny a wildly skeptical glance, then stuffed the rest of his pancake in his mouth as quickly as possible. He mumbled some excuse around his mouthful, then booked it back upstairs before anyone could say anything else. Kyle narrowed his eyes at Kenny, “What the hell, dude? What did you tell him?” Kenny shrugged and winked coyly, “You don’t wanna know.”

“Gross,” Kyle scowled, “don’t be spreading your pervy germs to my brother.” Cartman coughed, “Once again, phrasing.” He huffed as Kyle elbowed him in the stomach. Kenny eyed them a moment, then stretched and turned away, “Well, I’d better head home and check on things. Thanks for bathing and feeding me.” Kyle rolled his eyes in an almost affectionate way as he and Cartman followed Kenny to the front door, “As always. See you later, dude.” Kenny informally saluted them as he dipped out the door. Cartman still had the cold compress on his cheek, watching as Kyle just stood there thinking. “Well,” He eventually suggested, “we could watch TV in my room.”

Cartman didn’t argue, following him upstairs. Kyle sat down on his bed, checking his phone to see if he’d missed anything important last night. He hovered over Stan’s contact info, chewing his tongue. Taking a breath, he opened their text history and sent a new message, then glanced up to his only guest left, “You can sit down.” The taller boy nodded, hesitating before sitting on the other end of the bed. Kyle picked up his remote to search Netflix once again.

* * *

The door was locked, not that anyone else was home to care. The bed creaked against the wall and Wendy’s soft, pleading moans filled Stan’s head with hazy smiles and affectionate sighs. She was laying on her back as he stood next to the bed, head turned up to the ceiling. She shivered with every thrust into her he made, his hands gripped securely onto her hips and thumbs idly rubbing her hipbones. They were both panting and shaking, Wendy grasping at him wherever she could reach. “Aah, I’m gonna cum..” Stan gasped breathlessly, looking down at her as she arched her back to meet his movements. “Then cum,” Wendy commanded, eyes bright and twinkling. He didn’t need much more encouragement than that.

Laying in their afterglow, Stan was idly twisting his fingers in Wendy’s long hair, a soft smile on his face. She was tracing circles on his chest, eyes closed as she listened to his heartbeat. Her desk vibrated as Stan got a text, and she rolled over to grab his phone for him. “It’s Kyle,” She informed, curling back against his chest as he accepted the device. He cursed under his breath as he read the message.

_How’s church?_

Wendy eyed him as he bit his lip, texting back with one hand.

_Boring, as always._

“You hate lying to him,” Wendy sighed, laying on her back. Stan sat up a little to hover over her, “I do, but he’d just be angry if he knew where I really am.” His lover rolled her eyes, rubbing his shoulder idly, “Stan, Kyle doesn’t deserve to be lied to, even if he would be angry. He’s your best friend. You think Bebe likes that sometimes I hang out with you instead of going out with the girls?” Stan slumped his shoulders in guilt, “No..”

“No,” Wendy confirmed, cradling his cheek, “But I don’t lie to her about it.” Stan sighed heavily, laying back next to her and staring up at the ceiling, “You don’t know Kyle like I do, Wendy. It’s better if I don’t always tell him.” She tsk’d and shook her head, “You’re right, I don’t. But I do know that lying never made anybody’s life better in the long run. You do what you think you need to, Stan, but you really should stop lying to Kyle.”

Stan chewed his lip, brow furrowed, “He’s friends with Cartman now, apparently.” Wendy looked shocked and at a loss for words for just a moment, then shook herself and shrugged, “Well, then he’s friends with Cartman. So what?”

Stan scrubbed his face with both hands, checking his phone briefly to see no response from Kyle. He put his phone on silent and set it back on the nightstand, then crawled over Wendy to nip and lick at her neck, “Never mind. It’ll be okay. I’ll come clean to him eventually.” Wendy wasn’t necessarily impressed with his words, but his tongue was doing wonders, so she let it go for now.

* * *

Kyle just scowled at Stan’s response, frowning deeply. He blinked as Cartman nudged him, “Hey, you keep frowning like that, those forehead wrinkles are gonna be permanent.” Kyle scoffed, shaking his head, “Yeah, well maybe Stan will get the hint, then.” Scratching his neck, Cartman made a sound of understanding, “Right. Somehow I don’t think forehead wrinkles would distract him from Wendy’s- hey!” He exclaimed as Kyle hit him with a pillow. “Shut up, fatass!” He snarled at him, looking like a cat with raised hackles ready to fucking destroy the next thing that touched him. Cartman put his hands up in surrender, holding the pillow, “Okay, I’m sorry, that was distasteful.”

It took a minute for Kyle to settle back down, arms crossed as he glared at nothing. “I hate him,” He eventually mumbled, sniffling. Cartman tensed a little. He could barely handle his own unlocked emotions; other peoples’ were even worse to navigate. However, he tentatively patted Kyle’s shoulder, “No, you don’t.” Kyle slumped, hanging his head and rubbing one eye, “No, I don’t.. I’m just so disappointed and angry.” He sniffled again, wiping his nose and putting his phone down. Cartman pursed his lips, turning to pause what was on the television. Kyle tilted his head and squinted at him in question.

With a deep, nervous breath, Cartman tapped his fingers on his knee and said, “My therapist says when I get angry, I should talk about it with someone. Or something. When I first got out of inpatient, I would talk to Mr Kitty. But when she passed last year, I…” He trailed off, face red and the faintest hint of tears in his eyes. Kyle was just staring at him, fascinated by his words and the fact that it was _Cartman_ speaking them. The ginger boy reached to put his hand on Cartman’s in encouragement, trying to convey that he wasn’t judging him for this. He couldn’t imagine how uncomfortable he was.

He got a grateful smile for his efforts, and Cartman cleared his throat to continue, “Now I talk to Clyde Frog. And I know it sounds stupid, but it actually helps to rant. So, if you want, I don’t mind listening. Or I can put my earbuds in and turn away.” Kyle wanted to laugh. Not because the image of Cartman pacing around his room ranting to a stuffed frog was hysterical (though it was) but because he was actually getting anger issue advice from Eric fucking Cartman. He shook his head, pushing his hair out of his eyes with a shaky hand, “You know what? I’ll take you up on that. You don’t have to put earbuds in, but.. I think I would feel better if you were looking the other way.”

“Okay,” Cartman smiled. There was clear relief in his eyes as he scooted around to sit on the edge of the bed and browse his phone. Kyle wrung his hands together. Where should he start? He glanced to his phone, imagining Stan and Wendy snickering about what an idiot he was, oblivious to the fact that he’d figured them out. He puffed out his cheeks. “I can’t believe Stan thinks I’m this stupid,” he started, flexing his fingers like he needed to fidget with something, “I mean, he must really think low of my intelligence not to realize I know exactly what he’s up to. We’re best friends, for crying out loud, I know everything about him!”

He sat up on his knees, rocking himself just a little as his emotions came crashing forward like they were encouraged to flood out of his system, “And Wendy, I can only imagine the snarky comments she makes. They probably laugh about it. Poor Kyle, so ignorant of his best friend’s activities. You know Stan accused me of being jealous because I’ve never been in a relationship before?” Cartman was staring down at his phone but the screen was black. He was listening intently to the wavering inflections in Kyle’s voice that meant he was really at the end of his rope. In their youth, Cartman used to be the one that caused that. Somehow hearing it now was almost painful.

He wanted to face Kyle and assure him that none of that was true. Kyle was smart and witty, more so than anyone else Cartman had ever met. He’d never known anyone else who could keep up with his brutish challenges and psychopathic intellect. Even before he’d been to therapy, he recognized that Kyle was the single smartest person in South Park. At least as far as Cartman was concerned.

“I don’t need to be in a relationship to know that ditching your friends for _anybody _is a dick move,” Kyle continued behind him, “maybe if he was straight forward with me, I wouldn’t be as bothered, but honestly? I can’t fucking stand when he talks about Wendy. It makes me want to rip my hair out and burn my eyelashes off.” Cartman couldn’t hold back a laugh at that; just a brief outburst before he covered his mouth and cleared his throat, “Sorry, sorry.” He rubbed the back of his neck, down into his collar a little, and rolled his shoulders to try and pop something. With his ancient bed at home and having slept on the couch the past couple nights, his neck was killing him.

Kyle noticed. He shouldn’t have, but he did. And he briefly had a thought that would definitely push them past any wall they had left between each other. Was it a smart decision? Probably not, but right then with his heart bared and emotions so raw, Kyle couldn’t give less of a fuck. He slid forward on his knees, continuing to rant as he carefully set his hands on Cartman’s shoulders and pressed his thumbs into the base of his neck, “Realistically, I shouldn’t be surprised about this. I mean, we all knew Wendy and Stan’s bullshit would keep going if no one else got involved. They’ve been doing this since fourth grade.”

Cartman tensed at Kyle’s touched, surprised and confused. He half glanced at him over his shoulder but didn’t want to break his vow to listen and not look. Besides, Kyle’s slim fingers working the knots in his neck felt pretty good. And nobody else was here. He breathed in and out deeply, slowly relaxing into the massage. Though he was still ranting, Kyle paid attention to Cartman’s body language; what hurt, what didn’t hurt, what felt good, and what made him sigh and lean back into Kyle like he needed this.

“I think he thinks I wouldn’t understand,” His voice was calmer now, eyes unfocused as he stared at the wall, “Like I’ve never wanted to spend extended periods of time with someone before. Just because I’ve never officially dated doesn’t mean I don’t know what it feels like to like someone. And I’m not totally innocent, you know, I’ve kissed girls before.” Kyle wasn’t sure why the ‘girls’ distinction was necessary. Regardless, he pressed on, fingers now sliding down to knead the muscles of Cartman’s back, “Maybe Craig was right, maybe I need someone like Wendy is to Stan. If no other reason than to focus on something other than him. But I know everyone in this town, fat chance I have with any of them.”

“Maybe if they knew you had magic fingers, _fuck_..” Cartman gasped softly, not even realizing he’d said anything until Kyle stopped his work. There was a moment where Kyle became distinctly aware of Cartman’s deep breathing and how warm he felt leaned against the smaller teen like this. His head was swimming as he furrowed his brow. “Kyle?” The brunette asked without turning his head, a sense of panic starting to settle in the pit of his stomach. The boy behind him was eerily quiet and still now.

“Turn around,” The whisper eventually reached him, so soft he wasn’t sure he’d actually heard it at first. He grunted, turning to face Kyle, who had a fierce blush on his cheeks. Cartman’s own complexion was no better, red from his hairline all the way down his neck. Kyle stared up at him, green eyes unblinking as they flicked between the brown ones in front of him. His movements were slow but felt too fast to stop as he leaned up and ghosted his lips across the welt he’d made on Cartman’s cheek. He heard the bigger teen suck in a sharp breath, which Kyle took as his opportunity to chastely press their lips together.

It only lasted a few seconds, but those few seconds were enough for Cartman’s stomach to jump up to his throat, his palms to feel clammy and hot, his heart to do stupid parkour things in his chest. He didn’t remember closing his eyes, but he had to open them to meet Kyle’s gaze when he pulled away. “Uh..” His voice sounded foreign to his drowning brain, “what was that?”

“Probably a bad idea,” Was Kyle’s shaky, near breathless response. The hazy look on his fragile features was doing nothing to help Cartman’s focus. “Yeah, definitely a bad idea,” He confirmed absentmindedly, but neither seemed to mean the words they spoke. Especially not as they slowly leaned back in, Cartman reaching to knock that stupid hat off Kyle’s head and thread his fingers through that curly, red hair. He was vaguely aware of Kyle’s thin hands on his cheeks, clinging to him desperately as their lips clashed.

Just slightly more coherent than before, even their kissing was filled with contention and rivalry. Each fought to lead, lips parting and tongues fighting to claim the other’s mouth. And oh boy, if that little growl Kyle gave him when he bit his lower lip didn’t go straight to Cartman’s dick. Somehow, the sensible part of his brain managed to step in for a split second and make him pull back just enough to disrupt their make out session. Kyle looked utterly disappointed and sad until his brain also seemed to catch up to what was going on. His eyed widened comically, “Oh my God..”

“Uh, well, no,” Cartman chuckled nervously, “but um.. I think I saw him for a second there.” Kyle burst out laughing, resting his forehead on Cartman’s chest, shoulders shaking. The burly brunette couldn’t help but brush through Kyle’s fiery locks, just appreciating the way they tugged through his calloused fingers like real licks of an open flame. Kyle raised his head to look at him and Cartman drew his hand back, obviously embarrassed. The Jewish boy bit his lip, “So.. yeah.. Stan thinks I wouldn’t understand.” Cartman bit his lip, fighting a smile as he nodded, “Right. How could you? I mean, clearly he and Wendy are the only people in the world who’ve ever been in love.” Kyle couldn’t stop blushing, rubbing his forehead nervously, “In love, huh?” Cartman swallowed thickly, his heart caught in his throat, “_Ghk,_ well.. maybe love is a little farfetched. I mean, you’re still a Jew after all.”

Kyle should have been offended by that, but the tone of Cartman’s voice was still dazed. It was actually kind of funny, that he would try to cling to some semblance of their previous façade. If it made him feel more comfortable, Kyle could deal with that. “Of course,” He nodded, “and you’re still an asshole. So yeah, maybe love _is_ a little farfetched.” He wasn’t prepared for the grin he got. Cartman looked so happy and it was such a different expression on him. He tsk’d softly, “Great, now I have to go to my therapist on Tuesday and tell her she was right. Thanks a lot, Kyle. Dick.”

Kyle was bewildered and amazed by that statement. “Wait, what?” He sputtered through a laugh. Cartman blushed even deeper, were that possible, and looked away as he explained, “I, uh.. I talk about you a lot in therapy. We were enemies as kids, you know, you were the focus point of a lot of my scheming. But my therapist thinks it’s because I just wanted attention from you and didn’t care if it was good or bad.” Kyle hesitated a moment, then a smug grin spread over his face, almost making his cheeks hurt, “Were you pulling my pigtails, Cartman?”

He grimaced at Kyle using the same phrase as his therapist, “Ugh, I really hate when people call it that.” Kyle just grinned even wider. He didn’t realize they were sitting so close together until his bedroom door opened and Ike was standing there with a bag of potato chips in one hand and his Xbox controller in the other. He blinked as he laid eyes on them, taking in the state of Kyle’s hair, his hat on the floor, the way they were facing each other knee to knee. He sucked in a long gasp and pointed with his controller, “No fucking way! I thought Kenny was just stoned!”

“Kenny?” Cartman raised an eyebrow, “What the fuck did Kenny say?” Kyle facepalmed, groaning, “Of course.. Ike, this isn’t what it looks like.” He didn’t mean for it to sound like that, and he regretted phrasing it that way when Cartman leaned away and glared at him. “Well wait, what I mean is-“ He struggled to find a way to explain it that didn’t completely write it off because he couldn’t imagine how he would possibly earn Cartman’s trust again if he betrayed his feelings like that. “Are you sure?” Ike teased, too smug, “because it kinda looks like you guys were making out.” Kyle huffed, mumbling, “Okay, yeah, it’s exactly what it looks like. But don’t tell Mom, please.”

Ike waved his wrist dismissively, “Hey, it’s not my place to out you. But you might want to keep the face hugging to a minimum in this house.” Kyle rolled his eyes, then stood from the bed to grab his hat, “You’re not upset, Ike?” His little brother scoffed, “Please, I’m the last person who’s gonna judge you for being gay. Or making out with a racist, antisemitic fatass.” He winked, referencing a conversation they’d had prior. Kyle blushed and gave Cartman an apologetic shrug. “You’re my big brother, Kyle,” Ike smiled at him, “I’m happy with whatever makes you happy.”

“Gross,” Cartman fake gagged, getting off the bed, as well, his neck and back feeling much better after Kyle’s sneak attack massage. Ike sighed and shook his head, “Well, I just came to ask if you noticed the internet being slow, but clearly you haven’t been paying attention to that. I’ll just go check the router.” Kyle nodded and closed his door after Ike went off. He turned and looked at Cartman, leaning against the door and smiling shyly, “So..”

Cartman felt heat creep up his cheeks again, his smile mirroring Kyle’s, “So.. um.. hey, don’t take this the wrong way, I just don’t know how else to phrase it. But can we not label this yet? I just.. I think I’ll freak out if we call it something.” Kyle honestly couldn’t have agreed more. He breathed a sigh of relief, “Yeah, that’s totally cool. Preferred, actually. Uh.. so what, we’re.. still friends?” Cartman nodded, “Sure. Friends. Close friends.”

“Close friends,” Kyle parroted, liking the sound of that for now, “Cool.” They watched each other for a moment, then Cartman slowly approached Kyle, making his stomach flip. “I should get going. I’ve got some stuff I need to do at home before school tomorrow,” Cartman said a little reluctantly. Kyle nodded rapidly but he didn’t move away from the door yet, “Right. Yeah, probably a good idea.” They still didn’t move for a solid minute, then the taller teen leaned down and kissed Kyle’s forehead, his thumb brushing his chin, “I’ll, uh.. see you later.” It was mumbled shyly, and Cartman refused to make eye contact afterwards. Kyle moved out of his way and opened the door, face aflame, “Okay. See you later.”

He listened to the heavy footsteps head down the stairs, then the front door open and close. He closed his own door slowly, then went back over and flopped on his bed with this big, stupidass grin on his face. His first instinct was to text his best friend and tell him he may be in his first sort of relationship but thinking about Stan made his mood falter. No, he wasn’t going to let that bring him down. Not now. Besides, the thought of Stan’s reaction if he found out it was Cartman was priceless. Although, Cartman seemed a little shy about what other people would think. The inevitable questions would probably be too stressful for him to deal with right now. That was okay, Kyle was fine keeping it a secret until they were both ready. He hadn’t even come out as bi or gay or anything yet, anyway.

Part of him thought he should be fucking terrified or disturbed by this string of events, but why? Kyle wasn’t usually the self-destructive type and Cartman was totally different than he had been just a few years ago. Why ruin such a good thing just because some may not agree with it? This wasn’t exactly what he had in mind when he decided to get closer to Cartman; in fact, it was better.

* * *

Kenny was subtly bobbing to the music he had in his ears. Kyle could hear the faint lyrics of Ice Ice Baby against the light wind that blew dry snow around them. It had snowed again early that morning and the new powder hadn’t quite settled yet. Kyle was rocking on his heels, hands in his jacket pockets as they waited for the bus. They were some of the few juniors who still took it, but in such a small town, there wasn’t too much need for a car yet, though it would have been nice.

Kyle looked down the street for the fourth time since getting there and spotted Cartman walking their way. He buried his nose in his coat collar to conceal his smile. Nothing was different, it wasn’t a big deal. But he could see his excitement mirrored on Cartman’s face. “Morning, asshats,” The brunette greeted them. Kenny waved but didn’t pause his music. Kyle subtly took a step to stand closer to Cartman, rubbing his cold nose, “Good morning.” They didn’t usually talk much before school, as none of them were morning people. Even though Kyle was in a good mood today, he still didn’t want to talk before eight a.m. That was ludicrous.

He was surprised to spot another figure heading their way. Stan usually got a ride to school with Wendy whenever they were together because she had a car. Kyle briefly wondered if they’d broken up but decided he didn’t care. Stan’s business was Stan’s business and he wasn’t letting it bother him right now. Kenny also saw Stan coming, as well as Cartman, and they all curiously watched him approach. He grinned as he met up with them, “Hey, guys. Good morning.”

“Morning,” Cartman responded for all of them, polite just because he didn’t have any reason not to be. “Why aren’t you with Wendy?” Kenny couldn’t help but voice what they all were wondering. Stan rubbed the back of his head shyly, “Because I wanted to ride with you guys today.” Kenny snorted, mumbling, “You should’ve had her pick us all up, so we don’t have to ride the dumbass bus.” Cartman smacked him on the shoulder without looking at him, making Kyle snicker as Kenny mumbled an “ow, jackass, I was kidding”. Stan ignored the exchange, clearing this throat, “Hey, listen, I’m really sorry about having to dip so soon last night.”

“It’s fine,” Kyle shrugged, feeling calmer and more confident with Cartman just over his shoulder, “we didn’t do anything too great, anyway.” He glanced back at the taller boy, who snorted and resisted a smirk. Kenny was also looking tickled, like he was in on some inside joke, which he was not. Stan nodded but he was looking at Kyle like he knew he was hiding something, “Okay.”

The bus arrived soon enough, and they piled on single file. Kyle made sure to stick close to Cartman, sitting one seat behind him so as not to look too suspicious. Kenny sat beside Cartman while Stan, predictably, occupied the seat next to Kyle. Since Stan was about Kenny’s height, he was taller than Kyle (like everyone else, it seemed), but they were slouched down with their legs tucked up against the bus seat so it didn’t matter. Stan smiled over at his best friend, “So hey, I was wondering if you’d want to hang out with Wendy and me this weekend.” Kyle was going to answer when he realized what Stan said and he whipped his head around to stare at him, “You AND Wendy?”

“Yeah,” Stan nodded, “I feel bad about hanging out with her more than you lately, and she’s always saying how keeping up with my friendship with you is just as important as her, so I figured, why not both at once?” Kyle was dumbfounded. Wendy.. had been advocating for Stan to hang out with Kyle more? He was curious, but he didn’t want to be a third wheel to them. He pursed his lips, thinking quickly, “well Cartman, Kenny, and I were going to hang out this weekend, but I guess if they can come too, sure.” Stan’s smile faltered a bit as he glanced to the seat in front of them. “Cartman. Are you serious?” Stan asked, chuckling incredulously. Kyle wrinkled his nose, “Yeah, I am serious.”

Before Stan could say anything else, Kyle sat up and leaned over the seatback between Kenny and Cartman, “Hey, Stan wants us all to hang out with him and Wendy this weekend.” Cartman raised an eyebrow, “Really? Wendy doesn’t like me much. I don’t know if that’s a good idea.” Kenny shrugged, snickering, “I’ll go, why not? C’mon, Cartman, don’t be lame. What are you, scared of Wendy?” Cartman scoffed, sniffing and sticking his tongue out at Kenny, “Absolutely not, she’s about as intimidating as a toenail. But I don’t want to be a cause of conflict while the rest of you are there.”

“it’ll be fine,” Kyle assured him, squeezing his shoulder. Cartman bit the inside of his lip to keep from thinking about the night before, with Kyle’s hands on his neck. He sighed dramatically, “Alright, fine. But don’t say I didn’t warn you.” Kyle dropped back down next to Stan and smiled, “We’ll all come.” Stan looked a little hesitant and perplexed but decided against arguing. He’d hoped to have a nice, relaxing time with his girlfriend and best friend, but maybe Kyle was uncomfortable being alone with them. He’d have to talk to Wendy later. Hopefully she wasn’t too against playing civil.

When they reached the high school, they exited the bus quickly. They still had maybe twenty minutes before any classes started so the four picked a picknick table to sit at near the front doors. Once again, Kyle and Stan on one side, Kenny and Cartman on the other. Kenny had elected to share an earbud with Cartman and the two were now jamming out to something Kyle and Stan couldn’t hear. Stan smiled, chuckling as he looked to Kyle and rolled his eyes teasingly. Kyle reached over and punched Cartman’s arm, “What’s he bumpin’? Don’t be selfish.”

At that, Kenny took the earbuds back and unplugged them, letting the music play through his phone speaker; some classical rock that Kyle didn’t recognize. Evidently, Kenny and Cartman knew it by heart, because they were humming with each other and doing an almost synchronized dance in their seats that Kyle was sure they were making up as they went. Stan chuckled, seeming pleased to be a part of the madness for once. When that song was over, a different one came on that Kyle did recognize but he couldn’t remember from where. Kenny whooped as Cartman groaned, “Really, Kenny? The Cupid Shuffle?”

“Don’t you dare knock this song, I seem to remember you being good at this line dance back in the day,” Kenny scolded. Cartman shook his head, “Dude, that was like 10 years ago. The fuckin’ wobble is more relevant than this.” Kenny got up from the picknick table, punching Cartman on the shoulder, “Come on, I know you aren’t about to let me do this by myself.”

“Bet I am,” Cartman grumbled, one hand up to shield his eyes from Kenny’s obnoxious dancing. “Cartman, I swear, you’re making me look like a fool!” Kenny laughed, continuing the line dance as the song went on. “You don’t need my help for that,” Cartman sighed but couldn’t keep the laugh out of his voice. He pushed up from the table, turning to watch Kenny for a moment, “You’re not even doing it right.” Kenny stopped and made a vague gesture with both hands, “By all means, educate me.” Cartman rolled his eyes and went to stand beside Kenny, waiting for the count to reset before easily falling into step beside him.

They didn’t strictly stick to the basic moves, having some of their own they coordinated specifically for parties back when Kenny and Cartman used to party crash regularly. A few people around the school yard were looking at them, but they were mostly ignored. Stan was laughing and Kyle had his head on the table to hide his embarrassment. When the song ended, Kenny and Cartman bowed to each other. Kenny was grinning, “Man, we need to go to a party again. When’s the last time you and I completely obliterated a dance floor?” Cartman rubbed his eye, chuckling, “I think eighth grade,”

Kenny clucked his tongue, “Too long. Ooh! We should convince Token to host one at his house! I’ll bring the drugs, you get the booze?” Cartman shook his head as he sat back down, “Let’s be real, Kenny, I wouldn’t be very welcome at any party that wasn’t just the four of us.”

“You don’t know that,” Kyle interjected, “have you even tried to go to one since freshman year?” Stan hummed his agreement, “A party sounds kind of fun, actually. It’s been a while since _anyone _has had one.” Kenny had a scheming glint in his eyes, focused on nothing and clearly deep in thought. Cartman shrugged, scratching his head, “If you can get someone to throw a party, I’ll go, okay?” Kenny looked pleased with this arrangement, finger gunning and winking at him, “I’ll hold you to that.”

The bell rang to signal they needed to get to first period. Kyle and Stan had made sure they had the same class at the beginning of the day when the school year first started, so they bid Kenny and Cartman farewell as they headed off. Kyle had a relaxed smile on his face, which Stan hadn’t seen for months. He didn’t think Kyle would give him a straight answer, but he asked, “What’s got you in such a good mood?” Kyle chuckled, and instead of the shrug Stan expected, he licked his lips and said, “It just feels good to have us all together. Kenny and Cartman being dumbasses and you and I reluctant witnesses.”

Stan wasn’t sure what to say but his mouth quirked up into his own smile. Neither kept anything in their lockers since they carried their backpacks all day, and therefore were some of the first in the classroom. They sat in the back, Kyle scratching under his hat again as he got out a pencil and a notebook. Stan was waiting to see if he’d need them before he got any supplies, but he knew Kyle was probably going to sketch instead of taking notes. He was getting pretty good at it, too. Stan spent a lot of that class watching Kyle doodle instead of paying attention. Really, how useful was Colorado History at this point in their lives?

As the rest of the class filed in and settled to begin whatever lecture the teacher had planned, Kyle was drawing aimless circles in one corner of his paper. He was staring off into space, that relaxed smile still on his face. Stan believed he was happy the four of them hung out that morning, and he could even believe that maybe Kyle was just in a good mood today; but the hazy glaze over his eyes and the occasional twitch of his lip told Stan something else was going on.

The teacher gave them an assignment and the rest of the class to complete it or take it home as homework. Stan sighed and got out the appropriate supplies, flipping to the correct page and starting by copying down the questions. He heard Kyle’s pencil scratching furiously across his paper, and in his peripheral vision, Stan could see he had his cheek rested on his hand. After about 30 minutes, Stan got frustrated enough to call it quits for the time being. He’d just take it home and Google the shit later. Kyle’s pencil hadn’t stopped since it started earlier, and Stan leaned over to see how much of the assignment he’d done. He felt his brain malfunction for a second as he took in the picture Kyle had been absently sketching. It was spot-on, he had to give him that, except the expression was something foreign to Stan. Kyle looked very focused, brow furrowed and teeth worrying his bottom lip. Stan opened his mouth to say something, faltered, and then tentatively whispered between them, “Uh.. Kyle..?”

The ginger boy seemed to realize he was being watched, his pencil freezing in place as he blinked, focus shattered. He stared at the paper in front of him, then glanced over at Stan, “Huh?” They locked eyes for a moment. Kyle was trying to pass this off as nothing, Stan could tell by the wide eyes and blank expression he was carefully displaying. Stan leaned back in his seat, narrowing his eyes and raising one eyebrow, “Why are you sketching Cartman?” If Kyle weren’t already so pale, the color would’ve drained from his face. He looked back down at the lined paper he’d covered with cross hatching and soft lines that near perfectly depicted that exact smile Cartman had given him just before he left yesterday.

“I don’t know, I was bored,” Kyle ripped the paper out of his notebook and folded it up as small as possible, then shoved it into his pocket and shot Stan a glare, “Why were you looking over my shoulder, anyway?” Stan was taken aback at how defensive that was, stunned and grasping for an answer, “I- what do you mean? I always watch you draw in class, you’ve never cared before.”

“Yeah, well-...,” Kyle stumbled over his words, huffing. He looked stressed so Stan put his hands up in surrender but before he could concede, the teacher was standing in front of them. “Marsh. Broflovski. Something the matter?” Stan folded his hands on his desk, shaking his head as Kyle answered for them both, “No, sir. Sorry to disrupt.” The rest of the class was also looking at them, of course, but they seemed none the wiser on their topic of conversation.

When the bell rang to dismiss them, Kyle seemed in a hurry to leave. Stan quickly put a hand on his arm, “Hey, wait. I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t mean to be so critical, I was just confused. I read too much into it.” Kyle eyed him for a moment, then relaxed, but he had a faint pink dusting his freckled cheeks that was hard to miss. “It’s okay,” Kyle nodded, rolling his shoulders, “sorry I snapped at you. I’ll see you at lunch?”

“Yeah,” Stan chanced a smile and was relieved when Kyle returned it, “see you at lunch.”

When lunch time rolled around, Cartman followed Kenny into the cafeteria with a shit-eating grin on his face. They’d skipped their previous class to smoke a joint in the bathroom and were both pleasantly stoned now. A year ago, Cartman wouldn’t have dared touch marijuana because he believed it was for hippies and vegans. Now, however, he occasionally indulged Kenny’s persistent peer pressuring; mostly because Google said it didn’t interfere with his medication.

They were both chuckling stupidly at things that weren’t all that funny, but they couldn’t help themselves. They went through the lunch line and sat down at their usual table, pulling out their phones to look at memes while they waited for Stan and Kyle. The duo showed up a few minutes after them, Stan ranting about biology and complaining that he didn’t care about prokaryotes and eukaryotes. Kyle was trying not to look irritated, but it was hard not to correct Stan on some of the information he was ranting about. As they sat down, Stan sniffed, “Why do I need to know about amoeba getting it on, anyway? As if knowing the ins and outs of bilateral fusion is gonna help me with playing professional sports.”

Cartman burst into a fit of tears that even Kenny didn’t understand, though Kyle was trying his best not to follow his lead. Stan glowered across the table, “What’s so funny, fatass?” Cartman shook his head, furiously wiping at his red eyes, “Oh my fucking God, that’s priceless! And you call me a dumbass!” Kyle cleared his throat, not meeting anyone’s eyes as he struggled to hold in his laughter. Stan glared at him, too, “What? It must be hilarious if you’re laughing, too.”

“It’s binary fission, you dumb hippie,” Cartman finally graced them with an answer, his shoulders still shaking with his chuckles, “amoeba dividing, it’s called binary fission. Bilateral fusion is a spinal surgery.” Stan just stared at him for a minute, then whipped out his phone to Google it because he didn’t trust Cartman. The taller teen rolled his eyes so hard they might have fallen out of his head, were that possible, “I took biology last semester, Marsh.” Kyle took pity on Stan, shooting Cartman a look and patting his best friend’s shoulder, “It’s okay, dude, you’re just starting the class.”

Stan snorted and shook his head, stowing his phone away, “Whatever.” Suddenly, a voice called from across the cafeteria, “Stan!” They turned to see Wendy bringing her tray over, grinning widely at them all. “Hey, guys,” She greeted them, meeting everyone’s eyes but Cartman’s, “Mind if I join you?” Cartman and Kenny automatically looked at Kyle, who was a little skeptical of this situation. However, he just shrugged, scooting down so Stan could, as well, “Sure.” Wendy sat down on the end of the bench, beside Stan and across from Kenny. Cartman stuck his foot out under the table to nudge it against Kyle’s and leave it there. The Jewish teen smiled gratefully at him.

“Did Stan invite you over this weekend, Kyle?” Wendy asked, looking around Stan to look at Kyle. As Stan was about to explain what happened on the bus that morning, Kyle leaned on the table and said, “yeah, but I felt bad ditching Cartman and Kenny, so he said it was cool that we all come.” She clearly wasn’t expecting that, glancing at Stan and then over at Cartman who wasn’t paying attention to her at all. “Oh, Wendy’s voice was confused and apprehensive, “I mean.. Sure, yeah, that’s okay. I wasn’t expecting that many people, but I guess I still have time to get some more stuff.”

“Stuff?” Kenny repeated curiously. Wendy nodded, “Yeah, like junk food and stuff. Stan thought a movie night was easy enough.” Cartman finally looked at her, holding his phone in one hand, “Don’t worry about that, we can bring some stuff, too.” Wendy looked skeptical and a little worried, which Cartman rolled his eyes at and drew a cross over his heart, “There won’t be anything weird and I won’t let Kenny make brownies, okay?”

Kenny looked disappointed at that, pouting, “Killjoy...” Stan and Wendy glanced at each other, then over to Kyle who was smiling at Cartman. The brunette easily smiled back, and the drawing Kyle had done earlier flashed through Stan’s mind. He pulled out his phone to quickly text Wendy.

_Remind me to tell you about Kyle’s drawing later._

He grabbed her hand before she could look at her phone, not wanting to draw attention to it. Once lunch was over, Wendy and Stan shared a goodbye kiss that made Kyle’s insides churn; but not for the same reasons it did before. He glanced at Cartman, who was also looking at him. When their eyes met, they both blushed and looked away, chuckling nervously. Stan had Cartman in his last period, but usually they never acknowledged each other. However, today, Stan decided to give him a chance. If they were both going to be friends with Kyle, and if he was going to be hanging out at Wendy’s this weekend, Stan might as well try and get along with him.

Cartman sat in the back corner of the economics room, one earbud in. Stan took a breath before following him back there, sitting in the desk next to him and earning a rather dubious side glance. “Uh, hey, Stan,” The taller boy greeted skeptically. Stan gave him a friendly if not subdued smile, “Hey. You cool with me sitting here?” Cartman shrugged indifferently, “I don’t care. Are you okay sitting there?” That was obviously masking a different question. Stan could practically see it on Cartman’s face. _Why are you sitting next to me?_ Stan nodded, “Yeah, I’m fine.”

They didn’t talk for the first half of the class. Then they were given an assignment and released to their own devices. Cartman was already working, chewing on the end of his pencil between scribbling down answers. Stan glanced over at him and was reminded of the very similar position he’d been in with Kyle that morning. _Kyle drew a picture of you in first period_, flashed through his mind, but he bit his tongue before he could say it out loud. He didn’t want to give Cartman any more fuel to pick on his best friend, after all. Eventually, Cartman noticed him looking at him. He raised an eyebrow, “What are you looking at, Marsh?”

Stan shrunk a little, cringing, “Sorry, didn’t mean to stare. You know, I’m surprised you’re actually doing schoolwork.” Cartman rolled his eyes, “Despite what you think, I’m not stupid. I mean, math is still my worst fucking subject and gym is straight aids, but that’s just because I’m lazy.” Stan couldn’t think of a better response than, “Oh.” Cartman snorted and shook his head, turning back to his work. Thankfully, their econ teacher was lax, and other people were also talking quietly around the classroom. Stan was trying to think of something else to say when Cartman put his pencil down and fully turned to him, “What are you doing?”

“What?” Stan felt like he’d gotten caught doing something he shouldn’t, even though that wasn’t true. “What are you doing?” Cartman repeated, “sitting next to me, trying to make conversation. Why?” Stan collected his thoughts for a moment, twirling his pen between his fingers, “Well, Kyle says you guys are friends now. And you’re going to be hanging out at my girlfriend’s house this weekend. Plus, I realize I haven’t talked to you much since you got back from inpatient. Not one on one, anyway.” Cartman raised an eyebrow, crossing his arms over his chest, “So, what, you’re trying to buddy up to me?”

Despite the aggressive tone in his voice, Cartman’s body language was relaxed and almost bored. Stan could understand why he’d think his choice was suspicious, “Well, not buddy up, but I figured if you and Kyle can learn to get along, so can we. Right?” The last part was almost a challenge, his eyebrow quirking along with the inflection in his voice. Cartman eyed him for a moment, then snorted a chuckle and shook his head almost in disbelief, “I guess so.” Stan let out a breath of relief, “Cool.”

Cartman just looked amused now, turning back to his work. After getting that off his chest, Stan felt better. Honestly, the company was sort of nice to have. He usually never talked to anyone in economics. He still had thoughts in the back of his mind, that this was somehow a trick even though _he_ was the one to instigate it. But Stan was willing to make the effort, for Kyle and their friendship.


	4. A Therapist and a Smile

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SMUT IS AT THE VERY END IF YOU WANT TO SKIP IT.
> 
> Mmmmmmore character development, bois, yes. I’m a sucker for some growth. Some stuff in this fic is based on personal experiences I’ve had, of both the absurdly domestic and more serious kind; I think it makes the writing more relatable if it feels like a real situation. Hopefully that comes across to you guys. This chapter might be slightly ooc for Kyle, but he’s being driven by his resentment towards Stan and also feeling rebellious due to his feelings for Cartman.
> 
> Btw there’s sexy times in this chapter and Kyle is definitely a power bottom.
> 
> Also… I apologize in advance for the KFC reference.

Tuesday morning went by slowly. Cartman had therapy, and since the facility he went to was in Denver, he usually had the whole day off school. The school administration was aware of this and made accommodations accordingly. They’d been apprehensive at first, but the teachers didn’t seem to mind Eric Cartman getting help for his outrageous past behavior. Every Tuesday, his mom was emailed what assignments were given that day and she passed that information onto him.

A lot of the time, he would do homework while in session with Dr Tracy Stuart. His therapist was a petite, timid-looking woman with platinum blonde hair and tiny square glasses that sat on the end of her nose. She wasn’t very old, but she had the beginnings of smile lines at the corners of her eyes and she could really raise her voice if she needed to. Cartman just called her Tracy, despite her asking him numerous times to refer to her as Dr Stuart or Ms Stuart. However, Tracy was a step up from Shrink Lady, which was what he called her for the first year of their meetings.

“So, Eric,” Dr Stuart adjusted her glasses absently, a clipboard and pen rested on her crossed legs, “Anything interesting happen last week?” She’d learned quickly not to use phrases like “how was this” and “how did you feel about that” because it either made Cartman laugh at her or completely clam up. She had to make it sound less serious. He was reading some printed out packet with questions about the material on the back, holding up a finger to her as he finished a page. Then he raised his head, an almost pained and embarrassed expression on his face as he admitted, “You were right.”

“Excuse me?” Dr Stuart couldn’t hide her surprise, earning a scowl from Cartman. She cleared her throat, “I’m sorry. About what?” He rolled his eyes, fiddling with the stapled corner of the work packet, “About Kyle.” She uncrossed her legs, subtly clicking her pen and looking interested in this topic, “Oh? Pulling pigtails, you mean?” Cartman groaned and dropped his head back, “Stop saying it like that, Jesus.”

Dr Stuart bit the inside of her lip to keep from showing him that she was amused. She just nodded, gesturing for him to continue. He licked his lips, “He, uh- he kissed me. So…” Dr Stuart smiled over at him, relaxing back in her chair. She didn’t respond, watching him work through something in his head. He took a breath, scratching his neck as he mumbled, “And I kissed him back. But we decided we aren’t going to make anything of it yet. He’s not even out of the closet. I mean, I’m not either, but like I give a shit what people think about me. I just…”

He trailed off, making Dr Stuart tip her head curiously. After a few minutes of silence, she encouraged, “I think this is a good turn of events. You said you were getting along better, and it seems to be very true. Right?” Cartman nodded, his leg bouncing nervously, “It is, it’s just that… I think I’m scared of whatever it means. I mean, everything’s already so different about the way our friend group works. Stan spends more time with his girlfriend than us lately, Kyle smiles at me daily. Which, don’t get me wrong, is the highlight of my life lately. But the only one not really different is Kenny.”

“And how are you different?” Dr Stuart asked, making notes on her clipboard. The tall teen paused, giving her a look. That was dangerously close to “how do you feel about that” but he decided to indulge her just this once. “I don’t know,” he sighed, shrugging, “I still have some pretty bad thoughts, I still can’t help using slurs and sometimes I come off more aggressive than I mean to be. Besides realizing my feelings for Kyle, I guess I’m not that different, either.” Dr Stuart took her glasses off her face to briefly clean the lenses on her shirt.

“I think you are different, in important ways,” She held up her clipboard as she put her glasses back on, “our first few sessions, you refused to call me by any real name, you tried to inquire about my personal life to use as a psychological weapon against me, you wouldn’t answer any of _my_ questions, and you would have sooner eaten a pencil whole than admit to me that I was right.” Cartman just stared at her from under his eyelashes, head hung in guilt. “That’s big improvement,” She insisted, “even just from a month ago, you’re very different. You’ve come a long way, Eric. You’re feeling things and learner what to do with those feelings. It’s good.”

“It sounds gay when you say it like that,” Cartman grumbled, folding his arms over his broad chest and slouching in his seat. The work packet had been abandoned on a small table next to him. Dr Stuart had to use great resolve to resist rolling her eyes, “And you’re evidently maintaining your personality despite all the change, which is also good.” She got the tiniest lip quirk for her trouble, the first time Cartman appeared to appreciate what she was saying to him. The rest of their session was more mundane; checking in on how school was going and talking about his weight loss battle.

He left with a half-finished work packet and one of those tiny bottles that only held like three swigs of water. His mother was waiting outside, the car idling. She usually went and did some kind of shopping or got her hair done while they were there, then they went out to a late lunch before heading back to South Park. It was a comfortable arrangement and one of the only times Cartman could forget that his mother was the town’s communal fleshlight and just enjoy a nice day out with her.

Kenny had been texting him all throughout his therapy session, talking about how shitty it was and how Kyle looked antsy and bored all day. Stan sat with them at lunch again, without Wendy this time, but Kyle was apparently too distracted by something on his phone to participate in much conversation. Reading that made Cartman’s chest flutter because he knew why Kyle was distracted. The Jew was a goody-two-shoes most of the time and didn’t use his phone in class, but lunch provided free reign. He’d also been texting him about Stan and how Cartman’s therapy was going. He didn’t press for details but did send a blushing emoji when Cartman told him he’d told his therapist about their kiss. That may have been stupid coming from anyone else, but he knew that Kyle sending emojis meant he didn’t know how else to respond, and the mental image of him blushing up a forest fire as he sent that reply was damn adorable.

On their way home, Liane was asking if Cartman had any plans. He raised an eyebrow, “I don’t know yet. I might go to Kyle’s or Kenny’s.” His mom grinned, “You should invite them over to our house this time. It’s been forever since you’ve brought anyone over. We could pickup some KFC and I’ll get a cheesecake from that bakery you like so much.” He was suspicious of her motives, narrowing his eyes in confusion, “Why, Mom? Why does it matter who’s house we hang out at?” Liane faltered a little, her excited smile fading into a more subdued one, “Well, I’m just very proud of you, Poopskiekins. Going to these therapy sessions without even complaining anymore, and you’re doing well in school. I haven’t had the principal call me a single time this year and you’re already in the second semester. I just thought you’d like to have your friends over at our home again.”

He didn’t know how to respond, feeling his throat clench and his eyes start to water. He couldn’t remember the last time his mom said she was proud of him. Not for something genuine. He gritted his teeth, jaw clenching as he nodded and took a breath to make sure his voice didn’t waver, “Yeah, okay. That sounds really nice, Mom. I’m sure the guys would be glad to do that.” He had his face partially turned away so she wouldn’t see the level of emotion she’d just yanked to the surface. Regardless, she reached over and squeezed his hand, her smile back full force, “Good. I love you, Eric.” He swallowed thickly, his tongue numb as he squeezed back, “Yeah, love you, too.”

He took out his phone to create a group text to ask if they all wanted to come. Kyle and Kenny were down without question, of course, but Stan didn’t seem too keen. Cartman suspected that it was because it was _his _house this time, instead of having something to do with Wendy.

_Marsh: It’s just that it’s a school night._

_Princess Kenneth: dont be a stick in the mud stan_

_Marsh: I’ll ask my parents but I’m not promising anything._

_Jewboy: Dude, if my mom is fine with me staying over on a school night, yours won’t care._

Cartman hadn’t even said anything about staying the night, but Kyle assuming that was amusing. He chuckled to himself, typing while sipping on his tiny water bottle.

_Cartman: just more KFC for us if you don’t show_

_Princess Kenneth: what if a deal was on the line_

Cartman narrowed his eyes, glancing out the window at the cars passing them on the highway. They were headed home now. Kenny’s deals always had embarrassing outcomes; he just wasn’t sure who it would be directed at this time.

_Marsh: What kind of deal?_

_Princess Kenneth: if u show up at cartmans tonite kyle has to dye his hair before the weekend_

Cartman felt his stomach clench and he wanted to immediately shut that down because he loved the ginger’s stupid fire engine hair. But that would’ve looked suspicious, so he held his breath and waited for Kyle’s response instead.

_Jewboy: Absolutely fucking not_

_Princess Kenneth: u can pick the color and it doesnt have to be ur whole head_

_Marsh: If you agree, Kyle, I might actually show up_

Cartman dreaded what Kyle would say, but Stan’s presence was on the line and he had a feeling that would get him to concede. As expected, Kyle’s acceptance was short and definitive.

_Jewboy: Fine. But I’m not telling you what color._

Cartman cursed under his breath, shaking his head. He just hoped it wouldn’t be too different. Kyle was clever, for all they knew he’d pick a nearly identical shade of the red his hair already was. That made him relax a little. Once they were parked in their driveway, Cartman got out and headed up to his room to put his backpack away. He was truthfully a little nervous about having his friends over again. It’d been so long since they hung out at his house.

School was just getting out, judging by the clock on his nightstand. Kenny would likely get there first, not having much responsibility or significance at home. That was fine. They could both go with Liane to get KFC and cheesecake before Stan and Kyle showed. Honestly, he was _hoping_ Stan would ditch them this time, if only so Kyle wouldn’t have to ruin his beautiful hair.

As expected, Kenny showed up about thirty minutes after school ended, greeting Liane happily at the door. She gave him a hug, which was something only Ms Cartman did for them all. She was a squat lady, too, and easily dwarfed by them (except Kyle, which they gave him shit for). “Eric is upstairs,” Liane informed Kenny in her sweet, happy voice. The woman was positive and resilient, no one could argue with that. Kenny dipped past her to climb the steps, pounding obnoxiously on Cartman’s bedroom door and then entering without waiting for an answer.

“Good timing, Kenny,” Cartman was leaned in his desk chair playing his Switch. His back was to the door, but he didn’t have to look to know who it was. Kenny plopped down on the end of the bed next to him, accepting the Joycon he was handed without question, “Couldn’t leave you hangin’. How was your head shrinking today?” The taller boy shrugged, shifting in his chair, “Predictable, I guess. We just talked about how school is going. Some weight loss stuff.” Kenny was the only one Cartman had ever even remotely talked about his therapy with. Of all of them, Kenny was the only one he was certain wouldn’t judge him for it.

“How’d school go?” The brunette asked idly, hearing the blonde next to him sigh dramatically. “Boring as hell, dude. Every Tuesday is boring for me. Nobody else indulges my jokes.” Cartman was a little flattered by that but he would never say so. He snorted, smirking lightly, “That’s because nobody else thinks they’re funny.”

“Exactly,” Kenny huffed in exasperation. Then something changed in the tone of his voice as he practically purred in Cartman’s ear, “Kyle was pretty bored today, too.” Cartman flinched away from him, waving him off like a fly, “Dude, fuck outa my ear.” He chose not to acknowledge the comment about Kyle, but Kenny wasn’t giving up that easily, “In fact, he looked pretty mopey. Even Stan said something about how down he seemed compared to yesterday. Did you do something to him?” Cartman scoffed, rolling his eyes, “No, dickhole. What would I have done?”

He could feel Kenny’s eyes on him and see his character standing still on the screen, but he refused to notice. Kenny hit pause, forcing Cartman to put his controller down and slowly spin his chair to look at him. He had a carefully placed, bored expression on his face. Kenny had an absolutely wicked grin on as he said, “Don’t play dumb with me, Cartman. You and Kyle have got some pretty intense sexual tension going on.”

“Wh-What?” Cartman stuttered in surprise, not expecting _that_ claim, “Jesus, Kenny, we do not-“

“Oh, yes you do,” Kenny cut him off, “and Kyle’s been acting like a schoolgirl with a crush since yesterday morning, so obviously something happened. C’mon, dude, I won’t tell anyone.” His eyes were wide and intense, leaning forward and almost begging to be in on the secret. Cartman shrunk in his seat, gripping the armrests and glancing away from Kenny, “I can’t, dude. Kyle and I agreed we’re not ready to talk about it yet.”

Kenny’s grin got inexplicably wider, “But something _did _happen! Oh my God, this is great. I knew Kyle was into you.” Cartman furrowed his brow, “Wait, what?” Kenny thought Kyle was the one with the secret crush? “Dude, he’s been fawning over you for the past six months. He’s defensive of anyone talking shit about you and insistent that it’s because his mom believes in you and gets on him if he doesn’t act like he does.” Cartman couldn’t quite grasp this information. His head was swimming, he felt like he was floating, leaned back in his chair with an unbridled smile splitting his chubby face, “Kyle’s had a crush on me for a while..?”

Kenny raised an eyebrow, a look of realization spreading over his face, “Fucking Christ, you’ve been pining for _each other_? That’s some Jersey Shore bullshit, dude.” He set the Joycon on the desk, folding his legs up under him and watching as Cartman turned a brilliant shade of crimson. He didn’t seem to have a response. Kenny clucked his tongue, “Well, hope Kyle picks a pretty hair dye for you.”

“Ugh, are you really gonna make him dye his hair?” Cartman groaned, saving their game and changing the Switch to power saving mode. Kenny wiggled his eyebrows, “you don’t think a change would be refreshing? Aren’t you like, personally offended by his gingervitis or some shit?” Cartman grumbled something under his breath; something that sounded awfully like “not particularly”. Kenny threw his hands in the air and shook his head, “Oh my _God_, dude, are you telling me you _like_ his hair?”

“I didn’t tell you anything,” The taller boy scowled at him. Kenny tsk’d and shook his head, hand on his face, “You really didn’t need to. Well, this’ll be even funnier, then, to watch you suffer.” Cartman sniffed, offended, “I just hope he doesn’t pick black because he’ll look like Marsh and that’ll totally ruin it for me.” Kenny laughed, brushing a hand back through his hair, “All this time I was fucking with Kyle when I should have been fucking with you. Talking about his ass behind his back and shit.”

Cartman paused, blinking, “… Wait, that.. wasn’t a ploy to get me to look at Kyle’s ass?” Kenny laughed harder, flopping back on the bed with his arms outstretched. They hung off either side as he howled and shook with his cackling. Cartman glowered and kicked the bed. Kenny wiped at his eyes as he confessed, “it wasn’t but I really wish it was. Did it work?” He didn’t get an answer, which meant yes, and just made him laugh even harder. Cartman’s face was bright red, eyebrows knitted together, arms folded, “Fuck off, Kenny.”

“Eric. Kenny,” Liane stuck her head in the door, “Do you want to come with me to KFC and the bakery?” Kenny rolled forward to stand back up, readjusting his jacket, “Absolutely. C’mon, Poopskiekins.” He threw a shirt at Cartman that had been laying on the floor. “Aye!” Cartman threw it back, getting up to follow them out, “you aren’t allowed to call me that!”

* * *

Kyle had walked back to his house alone, one-strapping his backpack and kicking around loose chunks of ice. He had a discussion with his mom about having sleepovers on school nights and eventually convinced her that this was a good thing. After all, Cartman hadn’t invited them to his house since before he went to inpatient treatment. Sheila was reluctant and seemed like she saw through his excuses, but she was allowing it anyway.

She even offered to drive him over, saying she wanted to catch up with Liane for a bit. He was currently making sure he had everything for an overnight stay when Ike appeared in his doorway. He leaned against the frame, eyebrows quirked and a teasing smirk on his face as he said, “Staying the night at Cartman’s, huh?” Kyle flushed lightly but just rolled his eyes, “Yeah. So are Kenny and Stan.” He gave Ike a look as his little brother snickered, “Mhm, as if that matters.” Kyle took a breath, running his fingers through his curly hair, “It does matter because it means that nothing weird is going on.”

“Would something ‘weird’ be going on if they weren’t there?” Ike emphasized the word weird with air quotes. Kyle chewed his lip, turning away to act like he was looking for something as he mumbled, “I don’t know. Shut up, Ike.” The Canadian adoptee laughed, pushing off the doorframe and shrugging, “Whatever, dude. Just remember to use protection.” Kyle white knuckled the strap of his bag as he listened to Ike’s laughter disappear down the hallway. He rolled his eyes, cheeks pink.

Sheila was waiting for him downstairs, standing from the chair as she saw him. “Are you ready to go?” She asked, smiling. Kyle nodded and smiled back. The ride was only a few minutes, but it was much better than having to walk in the snow. Kyle waited beside his mom as she rang the doorbell. “Sheila!” Liane greeted his mother, the two women embracing each other. “It’s good to see you, Liane,” Sheila was grinning, “may we come in?”

“Oh, of course!” Liane ushered them inside. Kyle could smell the KFC and hadn’t realized how hungry he was until now. “The boys are upstairs, Kyle,” Liane gave him a brief hug before heading off to the dining area with his mom. He rushed up the stairs, registering that she said boys plural, which meant Kenny was probably already there. He heard laughing coming from Cartman’s room as he hesitated in knocking. For some reason he was nervous, his stomach doing little flips. This was no different than them hanging out anywhere else, he had to remind himself. After a quick breath, he knocked and opened the door.

Kenny was sitting in the desk chair with Cartman leaned over watching what he was doing. They both looked over their shoulders as Kyle entered. “Hey, Kyle,” Kenny greeted him cheerily, turning back to the monitor. “Hey, guys,” Kyle chuckled. He started to head over and noticed Cartman take a step in his direction. He had his hand on the back of the desk chair to hold it so Kenny couldn’t swivel, then stood so he was between them and blocking Kyle from view. Kyle wasn’t sure what he was doing at first, but then he felt Cartman’s lips on his cheek and his hand on his neck and his face felt hot and-

“’Bout time you showed up, Jew,” He could feel breath ghosting his face. He had to clear his throat before he could answer, “Shut up, fatass.” That was incredibly risky. Even standing like this with Cartman’s hand still on Kyle’s neck, thumb rubbing circles near his Adam’s apple, was risky. If Kenny really wanted to, he could get up and run right into them. Kenny’s laughter broke them out of their shared moment, and Kyle shuffled around to the opposite side of the chair from Cartman so he could see what was going on.

He wasn’t sure what he was looking at, “Uh.. What the hell is this?” Kenny snickered, “It’s KFC’s dating simulator, they dropped it a few days ago.” Kyle barked a laugh as Cartman shook a bucket of fried chicken they’d picked up earlier, “Only fitting, yeah?” He held the bucket out to Kyle, who eagerly grabbed a drumstick. Some very strange looking character with rippling muscles and hair that defied gravity appeared on the screen. Kyle snorted a laugh, “Who the hell is that?”

“Van Van the Man Man,” Kenny snickered, grinning, “he’s who I’m trying to seduce.” Cartman rolled his eyes, sitting down on the end of the bed, “You always go for the weird ones.” Kenny raised an eyebrow as he glanced over his shoulder, “Oh yeah? Who’d you go for?” Kyle tried not to look like he was invested in that question, but what he thought was going to be a serious answer devolved into a verbal shitpost very quickly. “Obviously Daddy Sanders,” Cartman leaned back on his elbows, a fried chicken breast in one hand and a ridiculous smirk on his face, “the man is a Chicken Snack.”

Kenny threw his head back with a literal wolf howl that petered out into weird barking, which Cartman joined in on for a brief moment. They were both laughing. Kyle was bewildered, blinking at them, “Is this what you guys do while Stan and I aren’t around?” Kenny nodded, turning back to the game, “pretty much. Though usually we’re at my house. Until my parents get home.” Kyle absentmindedly watched Kenny choose a prompt on the screen, reaching to grab a wing from the chicken bucket. “Can’t believe you spent money on this,” He commented to Cartman, who scoffed. “I absolutely did not,” He corrected him, “It’s free to play.”

There was more commotion from downstairs and the sound of the door opening. Kyle assumed it was his mom leaving, but there seemed to be more voices now. Footsteps bounded up the stairs and then Stan was there in the doorway with a wicked grin on his face. “Guess who gets to dye their hair,” Was the first thing he said to them, earning a belly-deep laugh from Kenny and a sigh from Cartman. Kyle frowned, glaring at his “friends”, “I hate all of you.” Cartman shot Kenny a fierce glance to tell him not to say anything, but the stoner was still focused on the computer screen.

He sat forward, “Well now that we’re all here, we should head down to the basement. My room’s not big enough to fit this fuckery anymore.” Kenny gave a dramatic sigh and saved the game, “Fiiiine..” Stan walked beside Kyle as they headed downstairs. Sheila and Liane were sitting at the dining room table talking idly, waving to them all as they passed. There used to be an enormous amount of random stuff down there that they played with, but it looked like all that had been cleaned out. Now there was an L-shaped couch with a loveseat and coffee table next to it, a TV in the corner. The PS4 was kept down there for Netflix and such. There was also a mini fridge that Liane kept stocked with soda, as well as an actual popcorn maker that Cartman didn’t remember her ever buying. It was just there one day.

The only thing remaining from their childhood was the long table that had seen many a ridiculous scheme or intense game of pretend. It was covered in paint stains and scratches. Kenny looked the most at home besides Cartman, easily laying out on the loveseat, “What’s the plan, boys?” Cartman sat on the couch and put his feet up on the coffee table, “I don’t know, to be honest.”

“We don’t ever really have a plan when we hang out,” Kyle pointed out, sitting beside Cartman but with enough space between them that it wasn’t suspicious; to anyone but Kenny, at least. Stan took the space on the other side of Kyle, “We should play a game. Like a board game.” Kenny made a noise of interest, chewing on his pinky nail, “What do you suggest?” Stan glanced to Kyle and Cartman, raising an eyebrow.

“Monopoly.”

“Clue.”

Kyle and Cartman said at the same time, then looked at each other with raised eyebrows. Kyle sniffed and held up his fist, which Cartman rolled his eyes at but mimicked regardless. He picked rock while Kyle picked paper, the Jewish boy smirking. Cartman shoved his shoulder playfully, “Whatever. Monopoly it is, then.” He got up to get it from the game box, also snagging a coke from the fridge on his way. “Can I get one of those, too?” Kyle asked with an innocent smile. Cartman paused, rolling his eyes and turning back to grab another bottle. Kenny snickered, earning a strange glance from Stan, who was feeling further and further out of the loop.

Stan helped Kyle set up the game board, everyone picking their respective pieces. There was a brief altercation over Stan and Kenny both wanting to be the boot, but Stan settled for the hat. It didn’t take long for Kenny to own one of every property and then absolutely refuse to sell them to anyone. “Fucking hell, Kenny, nobody can win if we all have the same amount of shit!” Cartman sighed in exasperation, rubbing his eyes. Kyle looked bored and over this already, but Stan was still trying to bribe Kenny for the last property he needed to complete a set.

Kyle leaned his back against Cartman’s shoulder, resting his head back onto it. “We should’ve played Clue,” He mumbled under his breath. Cartman chuckled, ruffling Kyle’s hair without thinking, “I told you so.” Kyle didn’t move, drinking his coke and staring at nothing over Stan’s slouched back. The raven-haired boy was still arguing with Kenny and not paying attention to them; that is, until Kenny asked the room, “Are you forfeiting, then?” Stan threw his hands up and turned to Kyle and Cartman, who weren’t paying attention to the argument anymore. Kyle was still leaned against the taller teen, idly sipping his coke as Cartman reclined back against the couch and closed his eyes. The proximity was nice, even if nothing could come of it while Stan and Kenny were there.

Kyle noticed them looking but honestly didn’t care to move. He and Cartman were friends now, this wasn’t abnormal for friends. He screwed the cap back on his beverage and rolled it absently between his hands, “We forfeited like two rounds ago.” He had his legs drawn up on the couch now, socked feet dug into the couch cushions and keeping his knees bent. “Let’s just watch a movie,“ Cartman scratched behind his ear, unbothered by Kyle’s position and following his lead to act like it wasn’t a big deal. “We could watch Ghostbusters,” Kenny was fighting a remark, not wanting to alert Stan to anything because it wasn’t his place to out the lovebirds.

Cartman pointed Kenny to the remote to avoid sitting up because he didn’t want Kyle to move. Stan was trying not to stare at them but come on. They had to know it was weird, right? Kenny didn’t seem phased, though, so maybe this was the new normal now; Kyle and Cartman being chummy and touchy. Wasn’t that usually Kyle and Stan? He was struck with the sudden thought that maybe Kyle was replacing him with Cartman and that tasted sour. But then another thought crossed his mind. What if Cartman was purposefully driving them apart? Obviously, Stan couldn’t bring that up right now. He forced the possibility to the back of his mind, to revisit later.

Kenny found the first movie and got up to turn off the lights. The television was the only light source now, illuminating Kyle and Cartman’s profiles as they watched the screen. Stan forced his gaze elsewhere. Towards the end of the film, Cartman became aware of deep breathing in his ear. He glanced at the back of Kyle’s head, which was propped between his shoulder and the couch cushion. The ginger was passed out, arms folded over his chest and mouth slightly open. Cartman pursed his lips to hide a smile, subtly sinking further into the couch so Kyle’s head could rest more comfortably on his shoulder. Kenny was also asleep stretched out on the loveseat, his legs hanging over the end. Stan was the only other one awake, but even he looked bordering on unconscious. Cartman carefully turned the TV off, mumbling something about going to sleep to Stan, who didn’t argue. The brunette made himself as comfortable as possible without disturbing the ginger leaning on him, then easily closed his tired eyes.

* * *

Morning light seeped in from the tiny, basement window. Kenny and Stan were sleeping soundly, undisturbed by the early sunshine. Kyle wasn’t fully awake, just drowsy enough to fully appreciate the soft body he was snuggled up to without abstraction. Cartman was laid out on his back, his feet still touching the floor. Kyle was cuddled up against his side, between him and the couch, his nose buried in the bigger boy’s stomach. He had one arm lazily draped over the his waist and could feel Cartman’s fingers tangled in his red hair. He didn’t remember falling asleep like this but wasn’t complaining in the slightest.

As he slowly returned to the waking world, Kyle kept his eyes shut to prolong the moment as much as possible. He also noticed that Cartman’s breathing wasn’t necessarily even enough to be restful anymore, and his thick fingers were subtly kneading through Kyle’s curly bedhead. They had the same idea, then. He didn’t know what time it was, but it had to be before ten, at least. He briefly peaked an eye open to make sure Stan and Kenny were still deep in slumber, then let out a dramatic yawn and squeezed around Cartman’s middle. The fingers in his hair tensed a moment, then carefully brushed through, twirling strands around and in between them. He couldn’t help the little sigh of bliss that pulled from him.

“I know you’re not asleep,” Cartman’s voice was gruff and sleepy. He clearly hadn’t used it yet today. Kyle just buried his face further against his side, “Am too.” His ears rang gleefully with the brunette’s chuckle, which he could feel in his fingers and chest. They both knew this was absolutely ridiculous. A month ago, if anyone told Kyle he’d be curled up on a couch listening to morning birds sing with Eric fucking Cartman, he’d have laughed them out of the country. “let’s go eat something,” Cartman suggested, ruffling Kyle’s hair gently. The ginger sighed but sat up, rubbing his eye and yawning for real this time.

Cartman sat up with him, watching Kyle’s languid movements with a soft smile. “What are you smiling at?” Kyle sniffed, trying to seem nonchalant as he attempted to smooth his hair into something decent. He didn’t get an answer, just a shake of Cartman’s head as he got up and made for the stairs. Kyle hesitated a second before following him. In the kitchen, Kyle sat backwards at the table, idly swinging his legs and watching Cartman dig through the fridge. He retrieved some eggs and a package of sausage that he held up at Kyle. Before he could even ask, Kyle muttered a quick but pointed, “Fuck you.” Cartman laughed, closing the fridge with his foot and getting the bread out, too, “I didn’t even say anything.”

“I know what you were thinking,” Kyle scolded, resting his chin on the back of the chair he occupied. Cartman raised an eyebrow, depositing the gathered ingredients on the counter before approaching Kyle. He leaned down so they were eye level, allowing him time to move away if he wanted. When the smaller boy didn’t move, Cartman pressed their lips together, earning a muffled ‘hmph’ for his trouble. Kyle crawled up on his knees in the chair so Cartman could straighten up a little. His hands were on Cartman’s burly shoulders, trailing up to the back of his neck. The brunette had one hand in Kyle’s hair, the other rubbing circles into his back. This was only the second time they’d done this, but it felt familiar and natural.

Between quiet gasps and breaks in their face sucking, Cartman murmured a teasing, “Gotta get it out of my system now, I can’t kiss you after breakfast. I’ll taste like pork.” Kyle’s eyes fluttered, a little distracted by their activity, but when he realized what Cartman said, he scowled. He shoved him lightly, but not enough to make any separation between them, “Fuck off, Cartman. You’re such an ass.” The brunette snickered, kissing the end of Kyle’s nose before ducking down to nuzzle his neck, “Maybe.” Kyle pouted, eyes narrowed at nothing as his fingers twisted in Cartman’s hair. They stayed like that for a good few minutes, until Cartman sighed and fully straightened back up, rolling his shoulders and going back to what he was doing before.

Kyle chewed his lip, watching quietly. “I think you’ll like how I’m gonna dye my hair,” He eventually commented, getting an unexpected sigh in response. “I don’t want you to dye it,” Cartman grumbled under his breath, making Kyle laugh in disbelief, “Are you serious? Dude, you’ve been making fun of my fucking hair for years.”

“Yeah, and?” Cartman challenged over his shoulder, grimacing. Kyle didn’t know what to say at first, tipping his head curiously, “… You like my hair?” His shit-eating grin worsened the longer Cartman went without answering. “You do!” Kyle exclaimed happily, “you like my hair, you absolute hypocrite!” Cartman scowled at him, “Shut up, Jew.” Before he could stop himself, Kyle barked back, “Make me, fatass.” They locked eyes and one thing went through Kyle’s head: that was a really bad idea.

“Make you, huh?” Cartman basically cooed at him, making Kyle gulp. “uh... yes?” Nervous as he was, he was also very curious, especially about the look the bigger teen was giving him. He turned off the stove top (thankfully he hadn’t started cooking anything yet) and set the pan and food stuff aside. He wiped his hands on a dish towel and turned to face Kyle, arms folded, “You sure about that, Jewboy?” Kyle wasn’t. He wasn’t even sure what he wasn’t sure about, but his heart was pounding the inside of his ribcage and his fingers were grasped tightly to the chair back. He took a shaky breath and nodded.

Cartman’s eyebrow twitched in surprise, then he pushed off the counter he’d been leaning on and jerked his head for Kyle to follow, “Come on, then.” Kyle hesitated. Cartman didn’t wait, heading out of the kitchen and up the stairs presumably to his bedroom. Where was this going? Were they just going to make out more or did Kyle just unintentionally invite something more intimate? His legs felt weak as he got up, almost on auto pilot. Cartman was waiting at the top of the stairs, an unreadable expression on his face as he opened the door for them both.

Kyle stood in by the door as it was closed, fidgeting with his fingers restlessly. Cartman put a hand on his shoulder and kissed his forehead, “Hey, relax. We’re not doing anything different, I just didn’t want to be where Stan could walk up the stairs and scream bloody murder at us.” Kyle deflated in relief, dropping his hands by his side, “Okay. Sorry.” Cartman shook his head, “Don’t apologize. I wouldn’t make you do something you don’t want to, Kyle.” That was different, and something he’d never heard from the brunette before. The ginger boy hugged him, nuzzling into his neck. They hadn’t really hugged each other before, but the way Cartman wrapped his arms around Kyle’s waist and kissed into his hair was near breathtaking.

Kyle raised his head to look at him, licking his bottom lip coyly, “So, are you gonna shut me up, or what?” Cartman gave him a wicked grin, then hoisted Kyle up by his waist and sat down on the bed with him on his lap. The smaller boy gave a little yelp in surprise, “Hey! Don’t do that, you behemoth, I am not a doll.” Cartman barked a laugh, kissing over Kyle’s cheek and over to his ear, “My bad. Let me make it up to you.” Kyle’s hair stood on end at the tone of his voice, his blood pumping faster suddenly, “Hm... What did you have in mind?” He was impressed with himself and his ability not to sound shaky and nervous, even though he was on the inside.

Cartman nipped his ear playfully, then kissed down to his neck and started lathering it in sloppy kisses and licks. Kyle dropped his head back, sighing softly and shivering in Cartman’s lap. He swallowed thickly, Adam’s apple bobbing as he groaned out, “No hickeys.” he was met with a sigh of severe disappointment, “I know.” Kyle smiled in amusement, bringing his hands up to play with Cartman’s hair. He felt teeth on his shoulder and gasped at the bite he got. “Hey,” he wanted to sound irritated, but his voice was pitifully compliant right now. “This isn’t really shutting you up, is it?” Cartman commented, meeting Kyle’s gaze and licking spit off his own lips.

The Jewish boy huffed, a fierce blush on his cheeks that rivaled the red of his hair, “Well.. maybe I don’t shut up.” Cartman raised an eyebrow, “Oh really? And what do you mean by that?” Kyle didn’t answer, looking away in embarrassment. The taller teen grinned smugly, kissing at his cheek and chuckling softly, “I get it. You’re vocal. That’s kinda hot.”

“I shouldn’t like hearing you say that,” Kyle mumbled, fingers idly playing with the collar of Cartman’s shirt. “Maybe not,” Cartman shrugged, squeezing around Kyle’s waist and pulling him against him, “but you do.” Kyle gave a tiny, humiliating squeak as he was very quickly forced to face the problem developing below his belt. He was also made alarmingly aware of Cartman’s own issue. “Jesus, _that _was adorable,” The taller practically whimpered, rubbing his face on Kyle’s neck. Kyle let out a shaky breath, “Dude, just kiss me.”

Cartman didn’t have to be told twice, one hand returning to Kyle’s hair as he smashed their lips together enthusiastically. He was rewarded with a quiet little moan, Kyle pressing into him eagerly. It was hard not to move his hips, especially with Cartman panting into his mouth like that; but what finally made him grind down into his lap was a well-placed bite to his neck. They both jolted, pausing and eyeing each other curiously. Kyle stuttered a breath, “That’s p-probably a really bad idea.” Cartman grunted in agreement but didn’t move, head slightly tilted and lips ghosting over Kyle’s.

The air around them felt heavy and humid. It made Kyle want to close his eyes and lean back in, but he knew Kenny and Stan would eventually wake up and be suspicious of their whereabouts. Also, he hadn’t brought a change of underwear, and he really didn’t want to have to walk around with a mess in his pants until he could go home. Kyle sighed heavily, leaning back and catching his breath, “Dammit..” Cartman must have been waiting for his decision because he also backed off, “Mm.. not the best time for this, anyway.” Kyle nodded, chancing a last kiss to Cartman’s cheek before rolling off him and laying out on the bed, arms outstretched.

They both needed to calm down but being within touching distance wasn’t helping. Kyle couldn’t help tracing shapes into the side of Cartman’s hip. The brunette gave a breathless chuckle, “Really not helping, man.” His movements paused but then resumed, his eyes blinking innocently up at the taller boy. It seemed like they’d made a decision but Cartman didn’t feel like Kyle actually had. He raised an eyebrow, sliding off the bed and slotting himself the ginger boy’s knees, “What’s your reservation here?” Kyle sucked in a harsh breath, eyes wide, “Uh.. Kenny and Stan, mostly.. but also.. I didn’t bring a change of clothes.”

Cartman hummed in thought, getting up to make sure the door was locked before returning to his previous, risqué position, “So we won’t get it on your clothes.” Kyle laughed nervously and also a little incredulously, “I-.. a-are you for real?” Cartman nuzzled his stomach, his big frame forcing Kyle’s legs further apart than was entirely modest, “Are you?” Kyle’s dick twitched, which Cartman obviously noticed because he smirked up at him. The redhead twisted his hands in his shirt shyly, licking his lips, “Um..” He was trying to think of a reason not to, but his upstairs brain wasn’t exactly in charge right now. Besides, if Cartman was offering what he thought he was offering, that would eliminate the need for a change of underwear.

“Okay,” Kyle eventually nodded, face a deep crimson. Cartman grinned, also flushed in the face and looking way too excited for this. He leaned up to peck Kyle on the lips, then kissed down his neck and across his chest, pulling the fabric of his shirt taut so he could feel his lips through it. Kyle groaned, arching up into the attention, to Cartman’s delight. He shoved his hands up his shirt, loving the way Kyle squirmed and mewled, eyelids fluttering.

“Fuck, look at you,” Kyle felt breath against his lower belly, his shirt pushed up to his neck by now and Cartman’s hands on his thighs. He gulped, tangling his fingers in brunette hair because he needed something to do with his hands. He wasn’t ready for the pressure on his crotch, gasping loudly and biting his tongue to keep from crying out. He chanced a glance down to see Cartman rubbing his face on his thigh and palming his erection with one hand. He was legitimately enjoying this, Kyle realized, which only made him inexplicably harder.

His pants were too tight, but he didn’t get to complain about it because Cartman was already undoing the front and pulling them down to his ankles. The sudden breeze on his cock made him shudder, the tip poking out of his waistband. Kyle’s head was lulled back, staring at the ceiling, his eyes glazed over. He heard stifled laughter and raised his head, glaring, “What the fuck are you laughing at?” Cartman shook his head, gripping and squeezing Kyle through his boxers and making him gasp a moan. “Nothing,” Cartman did a poor job of hiding his smirk, “I just never thought about the fact that you’re obviously a fire crotch before.”

“Oh, fuck off, d- aah..” Kyle couldn’t even get a proper insult out, his legs tensed and shaking as Cartman thumbed the tip attentively. He was way too smug as he asked, “I didn’t quite catch that, Kyle, say again?” Kyle shook his head, panting and writhing a little, his hands fisted in the bedsheets beneath him. Cartman suddenly sounded very different as he whispered, “You like that?” Kyle never thought Cartman could _be_ breathless, but the redhead seemed to make him that way a lot.

He nodded eagerly as he pressed into the work of Cartman’s fingers, pinching and rubbing around the head, “Mhmm.. d-don’t you dare stop..” He expected some kind of teasing retort, but what he got was a sharp inhale and a head nod from the boy between his legs. Now that was interesting. He was watching Kyle with dark, hungry eyes, fascinated by every sound and twitch of his body. His fingers suddenly disappeared, and Kyle almost sobbed in disappointment. He sat up on his elbows, ready to beg for Cartman to keep touching him like that when he realized his underwear was being pulled down, as well. They locked eyes and Kyle shrunk a little, puffing out his cheek in embarrassment.

Cartman didn’t mind, smiling and leaning to kiss his lips briefly, “You’re gorgeous.” Whatever response Kyle had died on his tongue, “Wh-What?”

“You’re gorgeous,” Cartman repeated easily, lightly raking his nails over Kyle’s thighs, “and adorable. Especially with that blush on your face.” The Jewish boy didn’t know what to say, blinking at the brunette with a mixture of confusion and flattery. “I.. Oh.. thanks..” He watched as Cartman took him fully in hand now, his cock twitching in anticipation. “I never f-figured you were the gentle type in bed,” Kyle admitted, cursing the stutter in his voice, but who could blame him? Cartman’s calloused fingers were tugging beautifully at the smooth skin of his dick, his thumb teasing the head often because he now knew Kyle liked that a lot. “I didn’t know that about myself,” Cartman mumbled his admittance, “I’ve never been in bed with anyone before.”

“Oh,” Was Kyle’s lame response. He obviously only had good things to say because his body was trembling, and his cock was leaking in response to the attention it was getting. He didn’t realize he was making all kinds of soft sounds and moans; or that Cartman was loving every second of it. The stroking suddenly stopped, and Kyle whimpered, hanging his head. His elbows could barely hold him up anymore, especially not as he felt Cartman’s tongue lick him from root to tip. He gave a little yelp, throwing his hand over his mouth and shaking his head. Cartman immediately stopped, voice concerned, “What? What’s wrong?”

“N-Nothing,” Kyle panted, “I just.. wasn’t expecting it.. and I think.. I might be too loud if you do that.” He was visibly shaking, sweat broken out over his body, shirt still half pushed up his torso. He flexed his toes. Cartman _pouted_ at him, “You want me to stop?” Kyle huffed, “Fuck no. But..” He glanced around then, grabbed the pillow from the top of the bed, “I’m gonna need this.” Cartman gave him the most embarrassed smile he’d ever seen him wear, “Okay.” He ducked back down to lick and kiss along Kyle’s shaft, the ginger boy dropping back flat onto the bed and burying his face in the pillow as he moaned loudly.

He tried not to move his hips, but whatever Cartman was doing with his tongue was divine. He gasped like a fish breathing air, white knuckling the pillow as he moaned through it, “Ah, fuck yes, don’t stop.. Eric, please, oh it’s so good…” He didn’t notice that he used his first name, but Cartman did. He felt his heart skip and his own dick jump excitedly, which only made his actions more eager. He wrapped his lips around the tip and suckled, which earned him a hip thrust and a frustrated leg twitch as Kyle attempted to have more of himself swallowed. The pillow was definitely necessary because there was no way everyone in the house wouldn’t have heard without it.

Finally, blissfully, Cartman sunk as low as he could on Kyle’s cock. His tongue rubbed around the tip as he slowly bobbed, watching Kyle’s body language and soaking in every whimper and whine and gasp he gave. It didn’t take long for the ginger boy to reach down and grab a fistful of Cartman’s hair, chanting breathlessly behind the pillow, “I’m gonna cum, I’m gonna cum, don’t stop, I’m gonna cum..!” Cartman barely had time to pull off, stroking rapidly as Kyle choked out a strangled groan with his finish.

He just laid there afterwards, pushing the pillow off his face so he could catch his breath easier. Cartman had a ridiculous grin on his face, grabbing the tissue box off his nightstand and coyly cleaning up the mess he’d help make. Kyle blushed, raising his head shyly and mumbling his thanks. “Damn, dude,” Cartman chuckled, moving out from between his legs to let Kyle pull his pants and underwear back up, “that was awesome.”

Kyle gave a slightly confused laugh, “Uh.. nothing even happened to you, though.”

“That’s what you think,” Cartman sat on the bed beside him. Kyle furrowed his brow, glancing down at the tent still present in his sweats, “What?” the brunette blushed, cupping Kyle’s face and kissing his cheek tenderly, “I just.. like watching you.. it’s not gonna take much for me to get there.” Kyle blushed wildly and bit his lip, giving a thoughtful hum. He scooted closer to Cartman, pressing against his side and returning his cheek kisses with some of his own. “Really?” He felt encouraged by the fact that Cartman seemed to bend to his will during this. The bigger teen grunted, shifting slightly as Kyle bit at his neck.

“Guess it’s only fair you get to finish, too,” Kyle wasn’t sure where this more dominating side of him came from, but it was present even before when he’d been at Cartman’s mercy. The brunette sucked in a sharp breath and let out a stuttered moan. Kyle hadn’t even touched him yet, so that was satisfying. He pushed him onto his back, kissing him deeply as both a thank you and a way of teasing. He didn’t even mind tasting himself on Cartman’s tongue.

Kyle reached down between them to deftly undo the tie on Cartman’s sweats, wasting no time in pushing them out of the way. Cartman whimpered, one hand gripping Kyle’s shirt and the other shakily petting his hair. Kyle was surprised just how hard he already was, but he did say that he liked watching. “You called me Eric before,” He heard Cartman whimper, feeling his dick throb as he said it. Kyle titled his head, kissing and nipping at his neck, “Did I? Hm..”

“I liked it,” Cartman was just rambling now, Kyle could tell. He was panting and shivering, eyes barely open as he rocked his hips into Kyle’s hand. The Jewish boy bit his lip, finding that both amusing and endearing. “You like when I call you Eric?”

“I like when you moan it,” Cartman groaned in clarification, breathing heavily against Kyle’s ear. If he hadn’t just cum, that might’ve made him hard all by itself. Still, he licked his lips and grinned, then pressed his mouth to Cartman’s ear and moaned softly as he stroked him tighter, “Eric..” Cartman shuddered, his grip on Kyle’s shirt tightening, “Fuck.. Mmm.. Kyle, I’m-..” He gasped sharply as Kyle gently twisted his wrist with every stroke now. “Come on, then,” He encouraged, practically purring and nuzzling behind his ear, “Come on, Eric.. cum for me..” He accentuated his request with a lick to his neck, which made Cartman jolt and have to bite down on Kyle’s shoulder to muffle his moan.

The next second, he was spilling over his sweats and Kyle’s hand, shaking beside him as he panted through it, “Fuck..” Kyle returned the favor of cleaning him up, then just sat there with his hands folded in his lap like he didn’t know what to do now, “Um.. guess we should go finish breakfast?” Cartman laughed boisterously, pulling Kyle against his chest and squeezing him affectionately, “Yeah, okay. Breakfast.” Kyle grinned sheepishly, noticing a small hickey forming between Cartman’s neck and shoulder. He blushed and cleared his throat but didn’t say anything.

Kenny and Stan were already awake by the time they finally came back down, and they had taken up the breakfast that was left out. “Where the hell have you two been?” Kenny asked nonchalantly as he cooked scrambled eggs. “Kyle was curious about the dating simulator,” Cartman quickly responded, to which Kyle rolled his eyes, “It’s lame, just like I thought it’d be.”

“You’re lame,” Kenny sniffed, unphased by Kyle’s opinion. Stan was eyeing them suspiciously, but he didn’t say anything. There was definitely something weird going on and he had a feeling he wouldn’t like it.


	5. This Goddamn Carrot Top

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SMUT IS AT THE VERY END IF YOU WANT TO SKIP IT.
> 
> So, at this point, it’s looking like there will be either two or three more chapters (including this one). There are a couple plot points that need resolution and some things I want to happen before certain conclusions, so… We’ll just see how this goes. The beginning of this chapter was actually the end of the last chapter, originally, but I decided to shorten the last one because it was pretty damn long lmao. Lemme know what you think of Kyle’s dyed hair ;3
> 
> As always, thank you for your comments and kudos! They make my day!

Timing was key when they skipped school. No one could go home too early or too late, or their parents would be suspicious. Thankfully, Liane wasn’t home and usually didn’t care, anyway. It was getting close to school ending and the four boys were sitting around the long table in the basement. Kenny managed to dig up some old Uno cards from the back of the game closet for them to entertain themselves with. However, Stan kept getting distracted by his phone.

It was round three and they were waiting on him again, Kyle bouncing his leg irritably under the table, Kenny sorting and resorting his hand, and Cartman leaning on his elbow with a very bored, unimpressed expression on his face. “Dude,” Kyle eventually startled them by spitting the word, a little harsher than he meant to. Stan huffed and locked his phone screen, “I know, I know, I’m sorry. Wendy’s not happy about me skipping.”

“Why does she care?” Kenny yawned even though he wasn’t tired. Stan shook his head, pushing his hair back out of his face, “She’s just worried about my grades and me getting suspended, that’s all.” Kyle narrowed his eyes, “Are you in danger of getting suspended?” The raven-haired boy across from him snorted, “I highly doubt it, but she’s never skipped or anything, so she doesn’t know the limits. As far as she’s concerned, it only takes once.” He finally took his turn, and they went around the group a couple times before Stan’s phone started vibrating insistently; it shook the whole table.

The other three gave him pointed looks but he just shrugged apologetically and picked up the phone, “Hey, Baby. No, Wendy, it doesn’t work like that. Yes, I-... No, I don’t make a habit of it. Okay, I’m sorry. I’m not discussing with you when I choose to skip school, that’s retarded.” Wendy’s voice got louder but they weren’t able to make out any real words. Stan squeezed his eyes shut, pinching the bridge of his nose like he had a headache. Then his facial expression did a 180 as Wendy’s voice petered out into something softer. He bit his lip, fighting a smirk, “Mhm.. I mean, if you feel like you need to punish me…”

“Gross, dickwad, don’t be pillow talking at my fucking table,” Cartman sneered loud enough for Wendy to hear. Stan sighed and rolled his eyes, giving Cartman the stink eye, “Yeah, that was Cartman. Kyle and Kenny are here, too. Well I didn’t skip school to hang out by myself, Babe.” Kenny shifted in his seat, rolling his eyes and manifesting a joint out of nowhere. Cartman and Kyle both stared at him as he lit the end and pulled an impressive drag from the rolled-up paper. He made eye contact as he breathed out, forcing the smoke through his nose and grinning at them, “What?”

Kyle wrinkled his nose, “Dude, have you had that this whole time?” Kenny nodded, leaning his chair back and putting his feet up on the table, “I always have an emergency joint on me, Kyle. Care for a puff?” Kyle bit his lip, thinking about it. He could feel Stan’s eyes on him, and he knew it was probably a bad idea because he did have to go home in an hour, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. He held out his hand for the joint, Kenny leaning to pass it to him.

He didn’t do this often, and as a result, he couldn’t breathe in very much without coughing. Cartman got up to grab him a water bottle, also sliding one down to Kenny and keeping one for himself, “Guess we’re doing this now.” He tapped Kyle’s shoulder with the back of his hand, taking the joint next and hitting it easier than Kyle had. Stan was still technically on the phone, but he looked bewildered by this sudden turn of events and wasn’t really listening to what Wendy was saying. Cartman offered him the joint next, but he looked offended by that, so the bigger teen shrugged and they handed it back down to Kenny.

Kyle was still coughing, cheeks red. “Sorry,” He managed to choke out between fits. Kenny shrugged, taking another long hit, “Don’t worry about it. You’re a novice.”

“Coughing makes the high better, anyway,” Cartman put in, sipping on his water. Stan turned his attention back to the phone, “Sorry, Baby, these guys just lit a fucking joint in front of me. No, I’m not smoking with them, I promise.” Cartman snorted and mumbled a quiet “whipped” under his breath. For some reason, Kyle found that hilarious, slapping the table and throwing his head back as he cackled. Kenny laughed at his laughing, but Cartman crinkled his nose in confusion, “What? It wasn’t that funny?” Kyle shook his head, stifling his laughter long enough to take another puff and pass the joint to Cartman, “No, it’s just.. that’s kind of ironic coming from you, isn’t it?” He melted into another laughing fit, and Kenny wasn’t much better. The taller boy huffed, taking a long drag from the joint and blowing the smoke in Kyle’s direction, “What the hell is that supposed to mean, you ginger?”

Kyle continued to giggle stupidly, his side starting to hurt. He just wiggled his eyebrows pointedly, but it looks ridiculous from his uncomposed facial expression. Kenny almost fell out of his chair he was leaning back so far. “Shut the fuck up, Kenneth,” Cartman scowled down at the table, “can’t believe I’m being ganged up on right now. This is my house.” Stan got up to talk to Wendy somewhere it wasn’t so loud and obnoxious.

Kyle was still giggling intermittently, his water bottle pressed to his throat because it was cold and felt nice. Cartman leaned towards him over the table, a coy smirk on his face as he mumbled, “You’re still laughing, fire crotch.” That just made him laugh harder, if not also blush furiously. Kenny snorted in amusement, minding his own business at the other end of the table. Kyle leaned to be face to face with Cartman, poking the end of his nose as he replied in a slur, “don’t act like you don’t know why.”

Stan came back down the stairs to see Kyle and Cartman barely a foot apart leaned over the table, smirking at each other like they were sharing some deep secret. He only caught the tail end of what Kyle said, but the tone in his voice was concerning. Were they… flirting? A whole new wave of emotions and thoughts washed through Stan. Kyle and Cartman, flirting. He could maybe blame the fact that they were high, but the more he thought about it, the more things started to make sense. A crush from one or both sides was the most logical conclusion based on their behavior.

But it wasn’t logical by any other means! They hated each other! What the hell had Stan been missing?

* * *

Kyle made it home at about the same time he would have had he gone to school. Ike and their mom were sitting on the couch watching the television when he opened the door. He grinned at them, waving. Sheila smiled, “Welcome home. How was your stay at Cartman’s?”

“It was great,” Kyle said honestly, plopping down in the armchair near Ike’s side of the couch. Ike raised an eyebrow, but Sheila just looked pleased, “Good, Boobie. I’m glad. Liane was very excited about having you all over again. She’s been worried that Eric is isolating himself by not having you boys visit.” Kyle couldn’t help the giggle fit that triggered, trying to clear his throat and clam up, “Uhm, you don’t have to worry about that, trust me.”

Sheila and Ike were both giving him weird looks now. He decided to excuse himself for a shower before they could get too suspicious. His brain was on autopilot as he gathered and change of clothes and went across the hall to the bathroom. He locked the door, humming to himself. He’d really wanted to give Cartman a goodbye kiss, but he and Kenny left at the same time and there was no opportunity. Standing naked in front of the bathroom counter, he picked up his phone and snapped a quick mirror selfie. That wasn’t something he’d ever do sober, but he figured the way the counter was barely tall enough to cover his lower half would be teasing enough to Cartman. He stuck his tongue out for the photo. It wasn’t long before he received a response text.

_Dude, youre such a light weight. Youre so high, look at your eyes._

Kyle snickered, turning the shower on to warm it up. He was only slightly disappointed that Cartman was looking at his eyes as he responded.

_High as Human Kite lmao._

He found that pun funnier than it was, giggling to himself even as he read Cartman’s reply.

_Omfg. You need supervision._

He stared at himself in the mirror a little longer, chewing his bottom lip and scrutinizing his own features. His fluffy, coarse hair, his big nose, the way his freckles were so obvious against his flushed cheeks; he hated all of it. But knowing that Cartman liked his hair gave him a little confidence. He wondered if he liked his freckles, too. He smiled and closed his eyes as he remembered the brunette calling him gorgeous earlier that morning. He didn’t realize that would make him so happy to hear.

He ran a hand through his hair, considering the dye plan he had. He thought it would be funny. At least, it’d get a laugh from Cartman. Besides, Kenny never said it had to be permanent dye, and he knew there were temporary kinds. The problem was that he didn’t know anything else about dying hair and he wasn’t sure who to ask about it. A girl, he supposed, but he didn’t really talk to any girls. The idea briefly crossed his mind that Wendy might know something, but he frowned at the thought of asking her. He didn’t want to have to explain his idea, anyway, lest she tell Stan and ruin the surprise.

Perhaps he could ask Bebe or Heidi at school tomorrow. They both dyed their hair constantly. Every week they had a different color, and they never matched. With this in mind, he stepped into the shower to wash himself, humming happily.

* * *

Kenny was the first to the bus stop, as always. He spent as little time as possible at his own house. He doubted the others knew exactly how early he got up just to come and sit in the freezing cold, away from his parents. He was browsing memes on Twitter when, again as usual, Kyle was the first to join him. He sat on the bench beside him, smiling, “Hey, Kenny.”

“Hey, Kyle,” Kenny greeted him, nose buried in his jacket and voice muffled, “you make it home alright yesterday? You were pretty stoned.” Kyle blushed faintly but he was still smiling, “I was fine, dude. I felt great, actually.” Kenny snorted in amusement, “That’s how weed works, yeah.” They fell into a comfortable silence until Kenny decided to brave the waters, “So… you and Cartman.” He let the rest hang in the air, aware of the way Kyle was eyeing him. “Me and Cartman,” He parroted, “what about me and Cartman?” Kenny pursed his lips and shrugged, “Is there a you and Cartman?”

Kyle tensed, gripping the bench seat as he avoided Kenny’s gaze, “Why? Did he say something to you?” The stoner shook his head, popping the ‘p’ as he replied, “Nope. But I’ve noticed you guys seem pretty buddy-buddy lately. And you were kinda flirting towards the end of our visit yesterday. I think even Stan noticed.” Kyle’s face paled. He didn’t know what to say. He didn’t want to out their relationship without Cartman’s consent, but it was just Kenny. Kenny never gossiped. In fact, they were all pretty sure that Kenny at least one dirty secret from everyone in the school, including the staff.

“Kenny, I.. I don’t know what I can say without Cartman here,” Kyle admitted, adjusting his ushanka. Kenny gestured a little ways down the sidewalk, “here’s your opportunity.” Cartman was walking to meet them, hands in his pockets and a smile on his face, his nose red form the cold. “Hey, guys,” He greeted them, “what’s up?” Kyle hesitated, “Um.. Kenny asked if you and I are.. if there’s a you and I.” Cartman really wasn’t expecting this so early in the morning. He blinked, face flushing as he glanced to Kenny, “Would you tell anybody if there was?”

Kenny shook his head, mimicking zipping his lips and crossing his heart, “Not a peep from me.” Cartman grunted, sitting on the other side of Kyle and putting an arm around him, “In that case…” He leaned over and planted a kiss on the shorter boy’s cheek, just below his eye, murmuring between them, “Good morning.” Kyle blushed wildly, puffing out his cheeks and glaring half-heartedly at Cartman for doing that without warning. Still, he mumbled a “good morning” back and rested his head on the bigger teen’s shoulder. They heard Kenny snickering to himself, “I knew it. Just be aware, I think Stan is starting to suspect it, too. Don’t be too obvious when we go to Wendy’s this weekend.”

Kyle sighed, “I really need to come out already..” Cartman snorted, “No, don’t just come out because you’re worried about PDA.” The ginger boy glanced up at him, brow furrowed, “But I don’t think I’ll ever _feel_ ready. I’m still gonna be terrified of what my mom will say, no matter what. But she’s really all I care about. I know Stan wouldn’t care that I was gay, he’d only care that it’s you I’m gay for.” Kenny and Cartman both laughed at that, making Kyle smile. “Look, it’s up to you. I couldn’t care less what people will think or say about me. We all know I’ve done more gossip-worthy stuff than date a dude. The fact that it’s Kyle Broflovski will probably be a little more significant, but whatever.”

Kyle hummed in thought, rubbing his chin, “I want to tell Stan in person. And I think I want you guys there when I tell my mom. Just to have some support, you know.. Even though Ike already knows and I’m sure he’ll back me up.”

“Ike knows?” Kenny looked offended, “you told Ike and not me?” Kyle rolled his eyes, “One, Ike’s my brother, of course I would tell him something before you. Two, we didn’t tell him… he walked in on us kissing…” Cartman rubbed the back of his neck as Kenny laughed, “Ah, I see. Well we’ll be there for you, dude. Just give us a heads up so we’re not also surprised.” Kyle nodded, “I want to tell Stan first, so he can be there, too. And I’ll.. probably tell Mom next week..” Cartman kissed his temple, “It’s okay. No rush.”

Kyle almost expected Stan to ride the bus with them again, but he supposed Wendy might have insisted on driving him this time, so he didn’t skip again. Cartman’s comment about Stan being whipped came to mind, but that also reminded him of his laughing fit over it. Judging by how eager and willing Cartman had been during their, uh, morning escapade, he seemed a little whipped himself. And Kyle hadn’t even meant for that to happen. Either that was the kind of person Cartman was in a relationship or he really liked Kyle. The Jewish boy liked to think it was the latter. “What are you smiling about?” Cartman asked him as the bus appeared at the end of the street. All three boys stood together, Kyle chuckling, “Nothing. Just the fact that Wendy’s probably driving Stan to school like a grounded toddler right now.”

Kenny snorted and rolled his eyes, “You know, he never complains about her. And she never complains about him. So why do they keep fucking breaking up and getting back together?” A brief silence followed his question as they boarded the bus. Kyle sat one seat behind Kenny and Cartman so he could lean over the back and talk to them. “Maybe it’s just a habit by now,” The burly teen suggested, “like they get weirded out if they stay together too long or some shit.” Kyle wasn’t interested in the why, just the fact that it was annoying, and he wished they’d stop.

The bus ride was quick and quiet. Most people didn’t talk much in the mornings. At the high school, they gravitated towards their usual picnic table. Stan and Wendy were waiting for them. Kenny grinned and hurried a little, but Kyle and Cartman lagged behind. The ginger sighed, “I get that Stan’s trying to include all of us, which is cool, but like…” He trailed off, unable to explain what he felt about the situation. Cartman patted him on the back, “I get it.” Kyle didn’t want to join the others yet, so he stopped walking. Cartman paused a few feet in front of him, turning back and adjusting his bag on his shoulder, “Kyle?”

“I forgot to show you this the other day,” Kyle blurted, thinking on his feet and digging he folded up drawing out of a side pocket on his backpack. He held the lined paper out to the taller teen, who took it and opened it carefully. He blinked, raising his eyebrows, “Damn, dude. I didn’t know you could draw.” His cheeks flushed with a little color as he stared down at himself. He furrowed his brow and Kyle fidgeted slightly, “What?” Cartman shook his head, absentmindedly thumbing the corner of the paper, “I’m just not used to seeing myself smile, I guess. Did you do this from memory?”

Kyle pursed his lips, trying to seem nonchalant as he shrugged, “Yeah. In first period. Stan saw.” Cartman folded the drawing back up, handing it to Kyle and purposefully brushing their fingers together, “Stan saw? What did he say?”

“He just asked why I drew you. I told him I didn’t know, which was true,” Kyle admitted, “I just felt like it.” They looked to the picnic table where Stan, Kenny, and Wendy were conversing. Wendy and Kenny weren’t concerned with the two standing away from them, but Stan kept glancing at them. Stan and Kyle locked eyes for a moment, the raven-haired boy tipping his head and trying to convey a question with his eyes. Kyle bit the inside of his cheek and turned back to Cartman, “You should smile more.” The brunette chuckled awkwardly, “Uh, well.. with you around, that’s not too hard.”

Kyle tried not to, but he grinned. He also couldn’t help surging forward to bury his face against Cartman’s shoulder and hug around his waist. “Woah, hey, okay,” The bigger teen hugged him back after a second, avoiding looking at the picnic table because he could _feel_ Stan’s eyes on them. Kyle didn’t let go until Cartman cleared his throat, “We have an audience..” The Jewish boy snorted as he stepped back, rolling his eyes, “Yeah, I know.”

“Hey, are you two planning on being social or what?” Kenny called over to them, alerting them to the fact that all three table-sitters witnessed the hug. Stan’s eyes were narrowed but Kyle didn’t meet them, leading the way over, “What is this, a hive mind?” Kenny snickered, “You aren’t allowed to leave The Collective.” That earned a chuckle from Cartman, who sat on Kyle’s other side. He was easily the biggest body at the table, the moldable image of an athlete, but they all knew he was too lazy to do anything about it. He’d lost weight as he’d gotten taller, but he still had at least fifty pounds on any one of them sitting there. Especially Wendy, who was this skinny thing that barely reached Kyle’s height.

She smiled at them, “Good morning, guys.” Kyle actually smiled at her this time, “Good morning, Wendy. You give Stan an earful this morning for skipping yesterday?” Stan puffed out his cheeks and stared at the table as Wendy nodded sternly, “Absolutely. You all would be in trouble if I thought you cared about what I have to say.” Cartman laughed at that, “It’s the thought that counts, I guess.” With the civil conversation, Kyle was feeling better today than he had at school the last few weeks. And he was almost excited for their weekend plans now. Almost.

* * *

Heidi and Bebe had a lot of questions, but Kyle was able to dismiss most of them by saying it was Kenny’s fault he was dying his hair. Still, the look on their faces when he’d explained what he wanted to do was encouraging. They laughed but they looked delighted and happy about it. Heidi said she thought it’d be cute, Bebe agreeing, but they also expressed that they were worried it might give Cartman more fuel to pick on him. Kyle had snorted, “I’m not worried about that.”

They’d recommended some brand they both used frequently, and yes, confirmed the color would wash out eventually. They also advised he should have help to reach everywhere he wanted and make sure it didn’t turn out like absolute trash. Bebe offered to come over and bring her own bottle because she already had the color he wanted, but he foresaw ulterior motives in her smile. It wasn’t exactly a secret that Bebe had a crush on Kyle. Well, more like a thirst for him. But he didn’t return it and didn’t feel like inviting an awkward situation.

He stopped by the cosmetic store on his way home, explained what he was looking for to the girl behind the counter, and managed to find exactly what he needed. He hid the bottle in his backpack, wrapped in a plastic bag in case of leaking. His mom wasn’t home when he got there, and Ike was playing video games (as usual). Kyle briefly checked in on him and told him he might be inviting a friend over later, which earned him a smirk and an eyebrow wiggle. Kyle rolled his eyes and flipped him off.

He waited a few hours, getting some homework done and psyching himself up before finally texting Cartman.

_I need your help. Come over._

He expected some sort of retort or sassy comment about how Kyle couldn’t just summon him like a handmaid, but what he got instead made him smirk.

_Omw._

Kyle tittered to himself, _whipped indeed_. He briefly wondered if his enjoyment of being in control was a fetish, which… probably. But he didn’t care, and Cartman seemed willing enough to indulge him. He had to wait maybe ten minutes before there was a knock on the door. “So what did you need help w- mph,” Kyle cut off Cartman’s question by dragging him into a kiss, shutting the door as he pulled him inside by his shirt collar. When they parted, the taller boy looked dazed for a second, “Um.. okay. Hi.” Kyle laughed, “Don’t think too much of it, it’s an apology in advance.”

“For what?” Cartman followed him upstairs to the bathroom, where Kyle had the dye bottle and several shitty towels out. Cartman sighed heavily, “You’re really going through with this? You know you could just tell Kenny to fuck off.” Kyle shrugged, “Maybe. But I kinda wanna do it, to be honest. Besides, I got temporary dye, so it’ll wash out in a few weeks.” He handed Cartman the instructions and some rubber gloves, then pulled his shirt off and put it somewhere it wouldn’t be exposed to dye. “Dude, I don’t know what to do with this,” Cartman complained, reading over the instructions.

“Improvise,” Kyle shrugged, “but be careful because Heidi and Bebe said this shit really stains.” Cartman looked at him incredulously, “Oh good, no pressure, then. What do you want me to do, just cover your whole head? Why the hell did you pick this God-awful green color?” Kyle bit his lip, smirking coyly as he leaned against the bathroom counter, “Not my whole head. Just the ends. You know, like a carrot.”

Cartman stared blankly at him, blinking slowly. “Are you-…?” He burst into a fit of laughter, having to prop himself against the wall, “Are you fucking kidding me? What the hell, Kyle?”

“You don’t like it?” Kyle teased, “I thought you’d find it hilarious.” The bigger boy shook his head, straightening up, “That _is_ hilarious. Okay, maybe this isn’t such a bad idea, but I still don’t know jack shit about dying hair.” Kyle sat down on the toilet lid, “Better just start, then.” Cartman sighed through his nose, reading the instructions one more time before slipping the almost-too-small gloves on and grabbing the bottle of dye, “Alright.. but don’t bitch at me if it turns out like shit.”

Kyle kept his eyes closed while Cartman applied the dye, and only opened them when he said he was done. “The bottle says you have to leave it in for twenty minutes,” The brunette said as he took the gloves off and threw them away. Kyle stood to look in the mirror. His light hair took the dye well, so far, although it looked strange having the wet ends sticking up from dry hair. “You did good, though,” He commented, turning his head to see as far as he could around it, “it’s pretty much what I was picturing.”

“We’ll see when we wash it out,” Cartman muttered, folding his arms and leaning on the wall beside Kyle. The redhead smiled, scooting over to press against him and nuzzle his shoulder. “Hey, don’t get that shit on my shirt,” Cartman half-heartedly scolded, one hand gravitating to Kyle’s waist and the other caressing his neck. Kyle rolled his eyes affectionately as he set a twenty-minute timer on his phone, “Just take it off, then.” Cartman raised an eyebrow, “You’re bossy.” But he did as Kyle said.

The ginger hopped up on the bathroom counter, beckoning Cartman over, who moved to stand between his legs. Kyle wrapped his arms around his neck and kissed his forehead, then over his cheeks and across his nose. Cartman closed his eyes, breathing deeply through his nose and flexing his fingers and against Kyle’s sides. He wanted to run his fingers through his hair but couldn’t currently because of the dye and Kyle could tell. He chuckled as he pecked Cartman’s lips, “You really do like my hair, huh?” The brunette just grunted, closing the space between them and claiming the ginger boy’s lips.

The kiss was lazy and unhurried, which was a nice contrast to how their last two had been. Kyle’s mom still wouldn’t be home for a while and Ike was plenty busy with his shooter games and wouldn’t be bothering them any time soon. Kyle tilted his head as Cartman nosed at his neck, fingers sliding up and down his back. “What do you think this weekend will be like?” Kyle asked through a pleased sigh. The burly teen currently lacing his throat with sloppy kisses barely paused to say, “Dunno. Entertaining, at the very least.” He busied himself with licking the space between Kyle’s neck and shoulder. Eventually, he mumbled, “Soon as it’s acceptable for you to have hickeys in public, you’re gonna be covered.”

Kyle grinned at that, his stomach twisting pleasantly and heart skipping a beat, “Mm.. same to you.” Cartman chuckled, nuzzling under his chin and forcing Kyle to tilt his head all the way back. The smaller boy briefly felt teeth on his throat, which sent a chill straight down his spine and made him shiver. “How much time left?” Cartman asked softly. Kyle peaked over at his phone, sighing, “Two minutes.”

“You think your mom would notice if I stayed over?”

Kyle barked a laugh, kissing Cartman’s cheek, “Yeah, probably. But we could always ask, she might not care.” Cartman gave him a look, “She’d care if she knew what I wanna do to you tonight.” Kyle blushed and laughed more, rubbing the back of his neck, “And what’s that?” He could see a smirk starting to surface on Cartman’s face but the alarm went off and interrupted them. Kyle shimmied off the counter, “Alright. If you’ll help me rinse the dye out until the water is clear, I’ll take a shower after and then meet you in my room.” The brunette nodded, watching Kyle lean over the side of the tub under the facet.

Cartman knelt beside him, briefly kissing the back of his neck before turning on the warm water and running his fingers through Kyle’s hair. His hands were going to be stained with this green color for a few days, but oh well. He was careful not to get any water or dye in the Jewish boy’s eyes, the water nearly running clear. Then Kyle sneezed and snapped his head up, spraying the wet dye over the shower wall and Cartman’s face. “Aye!” The bigger teen sputtered, falling back on his ass and wiping at his face with his hands, “Kyle!”

“Oh my God,” Kyle had his hand over his mouth, clearly holding in laughter. His wet hair was dripping still slightly green water over his shoulders and back. He glanced to the shower tiling and the part of the bathroom wall he’d gotten dye on, but he was mostly looking at Cartman with a mixture of panic and amusement. Cartman scrambled to his feet to look in the mirror, seeing a smudged spray of the dye across the side of his face. “Dude!” He made a vague gesture towards the stain, glaring at Kyle, who was laughing now, “I’m so sorry! I sneezed!”

Cartman scoffed, rinsing his face and then moving back over to kneel by him, “You don’t sound sorry, Jew. Get your head back down before you make this worse.” Kyle obeyed, his shoulders shaking with his laughter as Cartman finished rinsing his hair. “There,” The brunette huffed, rinsing his hands, “I hope you’re fucking happy. My face is gonna be green for days.” Kyle giggled, kissing the dye stain on his cheek, “I really am sorry.. lemme take a quick shower and then I’ll make it up to you, okay?” He batted his long eyelashes, making Cartman raise an eyebrow, “Hm.. fine.”

He got up, grabbed his discarded shirt, and left the bathroom to go across the hall and wait on Kyle’s bed. He didn’t bother closing the door. Ike came wandering down the hall after a few minutes, clearly on his way downstairs and probably to the kitchen. He noticed Cartman out of the corner of his eye and backtracked. “Dude, what the hell is on your face?” Cartman scowled at him, “ask your fucking brother.” Ike just laughed, rolling his eyes and continuing with whatever his mission was.

He was playing some match three game on his phone when Kyle came in and shut the door, locking it subtly. He had just a towel around his waist, depositing his dirty clothes in a basket by the closet and turning to Cartman, “So? What do you think?” He’d dried his hair as well as he could with a towel, the curls falling around his face endearingly. The bigger boy chuckled, putting his phone down, “It’s funny. Pretty cute, too.”

“And Kenny can’t bitch at me for not going through with it,” Kyle nodded in satisfaction. He sat on the bed beside Cartman, still with only the towel on. The brunette watched him closely as he twirled a strand of newly-dyed hair around his finger, “So.. about making it up to you..” Cartman’s teeth clicked as he swallowed, “Yeah?” Kyle leaned over to him, kissing his shoulder and walking his fingers up his bare chest, “Lay down.” He would’ve argued but Cartman was too curious and fascinated about what Kyle was going to do. He grunted, laying out on the bed with his hands folded on his stomach.

Kyle moved to straddle him, tossing the towel away and settling with his thighs on either side of Cartman’s hips. The brunette was wide, so they were already pressed close together. Kyle could feel his dick barely rub against Cartman’s stomach as he leaned over him, pressing their lips together. “Jesus, Kyle,” was mumbled under Cartman’s breath, “You’re fucking hot, dude.” Kyle laughed at that, blushing deeply, “That’s probably the most casual and yet somehow sweetest thing I’ve ever been told.” Cartman grinned up at him sheepishly, brushing through his curly hair, “You don’t even know the half of what I think of you. I just can’t say it all, either because I don’t know how or I’m too embarrassed.” Kyle bit his lip, nuzzling the bigger teen’s chest, “I’ll take that as a compliment in itself.”

“Good,” Cartman mumbled as he kissed into his hair, running his hands over his shoulders and down his back, “now why are you the only one who gets to be naked?” Kyle snorted, sitting back to undo Cartman’s sweats and tug them off. He raised an eyebrow at the fact that he wasn’t wearing underwear, but Cartman just shrugged. They both leaned in for their lips to meet, Kyle moving back to his straddling position and pulling a feeble moan from Cartman. Fingers were in his hair again, his own hands roaming the broad chest beneath him. He rocked his hips lazily, both boys panting between their kisses.

Soon, Kyle was kissing down Cartman’s torso, kneading his thighs. “Kyle,” He heard him moan softly, “w-wait.” The ginger raised his head, confused, “What?” He could tell Cartman was eager for this, so why was he stopping him? But then he noticed something else; that behind the heavy eyelids and lust-blown pupils, Cartman wasn’t blushing from arousal. In fact, he wasn’t even that hard yet, which was in stark contrast to Kyle. “What’s wrong?” Kyle furrowed his brow.

Cartman swallowed thickly, sitting up on his elbows and opening his mouth to answer, but nothing came out. He sighed, glancing away as he admitted, “I just.. You don’t have to do this if-.. you know, I know I’m not exactly.. fit..” Kyle stared at him. Was he implying that he thought Kyle would find his extra weight off putting? “Dude, are you self-conscious about your weight?” He laughed incredulously. He didn’t mean for it to be so blunt, but there it was. Cartman glared at him, flushed from his hairline all the way down his chest, “Fuck off, Kyle.” He made to sit up, obviously wanting to pull away from him.

Kyle panicked and grabbed his wrist, “Wait, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for it to sound like that. It’s just hard for me to imagine you being self-conscious about _anything_. But Cartman, you’re not even fat. I know we still call you fatass but that’s just habit.” The brunette hesitated in laying back down, “Yeah, try telling that to my therapist…”

“Well your therapist hasn’t seen you naked,” Kyle sniffed indignantly, leaning to nuzzle and nip at his belly, “I don’t see anything undesirable here. And like.. you’re actually a mountain, height wise. That’s sexy all by itself.” Cartman looked at him from under his eyelashes, “It is?” Kyle nodded, smiling sweetly, “Yeah, it is.” Cartman bit his lip, blushing deeply and thinking to himself for a moment. He sat up, caressing the side of Kyle’s face and partially into his hair, “I like your freckles.”

“Huh?”

“You don’t like your freckles,” Cartman clarified, kissing Kyle’s forehead, “but I do.” The redhead blushed and grinned, setting a hand on the brunette’s chest, “Right. And you don’t like your weight, but I do.” Cartman smiled happily at him, reassured by their weird exchange of analogies. Then Kyle dropped his hand to squeeze his thigh, “Can I suck you off now?” Cartman half laughed, half gasped as he laid back down, “Y-Yeah, okay.”

Kyle practically purred as he hovered over the bigger boy, licking his lips and batting his eyelashes. He took him in hand to start, relishing in the involuntary moan he pulled from Cartman’s throat. The Jewish boy hummed and mewled as he lapped over his shaft. It wasn’t as weird as he thought it would be, this action. Besides, the noises Cartman was making were encouraging. He had his hands above his head gripping the bottom of the headboard, his legs tense and knees turned in. “Fuck, Kyle..” He hissed as the smaller boy suckled the head.

Kyle’s eyes were twinkling mischievously as he smiled up at him, his cheeks and nose scrunched. He slowly sunk down on Cartman’s member, breathing through his nose and closing his eyes. He didn’t stop until he felt the tip against the back of his throat, which almost made him gag but he fought it. Cartman was holding his breath, body shaking and legs fidgeting. Only when Kyle slurped back up did he groan out, “Fucking Christ, if you do that again, I’m gonna cum..”

“Already?” Kyle looked much too proud of himself. Cartman halfheartedly glared down at him, “You try getting your dick swallowed for the first time and tell me that isn’t the easiest thing to cum from.” Kyle bit his lip, face flushed as he shrugged, “I did. I know it is.” Cartman sighed through his nose, turning his head to hide his face as he licked his lips. “How do you wanna finish?” Kyle asked coyly, twirling a strand of red hair around his finger, “like this or do you want me to sit on your lap?”

“Fuck, get up here and kiss me,” Cartman grunted, sitting up eagerly. Kyle giggled, straddling his hips once more and hugging around his neck as he kissed him deeply. Cartman _whimpered_ against his lips, rocking them together. He had one hand on the small of Kyle’s back, guiding his movements as he grinded down on him. The other gripped them together, stroking quickly and making Kyle cry out in surprise. Cartman did his best to smother the sound with a kiss, but he was pretty sure that one got through.

Kyle pressed his face to Cartman’s neck, shaking in his lap and mumbling through gasps and moans, “It’s so good, Eric, ah.. Oh my God, I’m so close already.. Aah, Eric, please..” There he was saying his first name again. Cartman was pretty sure he wasn’t doing it on purpose, either. It was sweet and beautiful and made this high so much better. Rubbing his thumb around Kyle’s tip earned him a bite to the shoulder and a muffled whine, as well as Kyle more eagerly bucking his hips into his hand.

“Hey Kyle?” Cartman whispered in his ear, voice shaky and hand faltering the closer and closer he drew to orgasm. Kyle couldn’t believe he was trying to make conversation right now, with their combined slick making his motions delicious and smooth. He licked his lips and panted, “What?” Cartman sucked in a breath, right on that edge as he choked out, “I think I love you.” Kyle didn’t get to answer before they were both coming between them, just seconds apart. He collapsed against Cartman’s chest, nuzzling there lazily and enjoying the fingers in his hair again.

After he’d caught his breath, he looked up at the brunette, words catching in his throat at the adoring smile he was given. He licked his lips, “I love you, too, Eric.”


	6. Tension; but Not the Good Kind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little more emotional of a chapter. Definitely not the last one. Looks like chapter 7 is gonna be the last, guys. I’m excited, I’ve never actually finished a whole fanfiction before. The idea that I get to mark this complete is super neat! Can’t wait to see what you guys think and what your predictions will be for the ending!

Cartman had ignored everyone’s snickers and questions up until now. Sheila had been more than fine with him staying over (not that she knew what she was allowing to happen) and was a little disappointed but mostly amused about her son’s dyed hair. They had walked to the bust stop together. Not even Kenny seemed to suspect that the green stain on his face would be related to Kyle dying his hair. He hadn’t show anyone yet, after all. He was keeping his hat on all day because he wanted to reveal it at lunch. Cartman wasn’t too annoyed by the teasing, anyway, because Kyle had more than made up for getting hair dye on his face; twice the night before and once that morning.

He sat down across from Kenny, earning a snorted laugh, “Seriously, are you going to tell me what you did to your face?” Stan and Wendy were joining them, too, sitting on Kenny’s side of the table because Wendy wouldn’t sit by Cartman. She gasped when she saw him, “Oh my God, are you okay? What happened?” The brunette shrugged, picking at his lameass cafeteria fries, “Ask Kyle.” He gestured to the ginger who was headed their way. He grinned when he saw them look at him curiously, blushing. “Hey guys,” Kyle greeted, chipper as ever. Stan raised an eyebrow, “Hey.. Uh.. What happened to Cartman?”

“Oh, the dye, you mean?” Kyle asked nonchalantly, sitting beside Cartman. Kenny smacked the table excitedly, “Dye! Does that mean what I think it means?” Kyle had been careful to keep most of the curls hidden under his hat, but he bit his lip and removed his ushanka in answer. Kenny immediately burst into a laughing fit, but Stan and Wendy seemed slower to get the joke. Kyle was too proud of himself as he explained, “I’m a carrot top.” Stan looked surprised and a little concerned, but Wendy actually laughed. “That’s amazing,” Kenny sputtered through his laughter, wiping at his eyes. Wendy shook her head but was still laughing. “I can’t believe you actually went through with dying your hair,” Stan said.

“What do you mean?” Kyle furrowed his brow, “You were the one who agreed that I had to.” Stan opened and closed his mouth a moment, “Well yeah, but I didn’t think you actually would. And definitely not like this. So, wait, Cartman helped you dye it?” The bigger boy rolled his eyes, “Yeah, and after _he_ told _me_ to be careful, he goes and whips his hair around like a wet dog.” Kyle hid his chuckling behind a cough, “I sneezed! I said I was sorry.” He had said he was sorry. A lot. But that wouldn’t stop Cartman from teasing him. The burly teen ruffled Kyle’s curls, “Yeah, sure you are. I mean, the result is hilarious, so whatever.”

Kyle grinned, “It’s temporary, anyway. It’ll be gone in a few weeks.” He noticed Bebe and Heidi get up from there table nearby to walk over. “Oh my God, you actually did it!” Heidi squealed, running her hands through Kyle’s hair to check the dye job. Bebe clapped beside her, “We thought you’d chicken out. It’s adorable, Kyle.” They squeezed onto the end of the bench, forcing Kyle and Cartman onto one end. Bebe’s eyes widened as she noticed the green smudge on Cartman’s cheek, but she didn’t say anything. Heidi was oblivious, greeting everyone else before turning back to Kyle, “You did a good job, I’m impressed.”

“Thanks,” Kyle was a little weirded out by them coming over here, but he was also proud of the reaction to his hair. Wendy look amused at the situation, “You girls could’ve just asked to sit over here.” Bebe blushed lightly and flipped her hair over her shoulder, “Where’s the fun in that?” Kenny was giving Heidi a look that made Cartman slightly uncomfortable, but he chose to ignore it instead of pointing it out. This was strange, having so many people at their lunch table. He especially wasn’t used to talking with anyone outside of their friend group anymore.

“Look at this hot mess,” Somebody’s voice sounded behind them. Cartman and Kyle turned to see Kevin Stoley standing with his arms folded, a couple of his friends behind him and snickering. The group at the table exchanged raised eyebrow looks. Stan spoke for them, “Uh, hey, Kevin. What’s up?” Kevin shrugged, specifically making eye contact with Kyle as he answered, “Just wanted to see the new dew. Heidi said you might dye it, Kyle.” Kyle glanced to Heidi, who looked apologetic and embarrassed for a moment before she glared at Kevin, “What are you even doing over here? I told you I didn’t want to talk to you anymore.” Wendy and Bebe had their eyes narrowed tightly, staring Kevin down. This was obviously something the four boys hadn’t been previously involved in.

“I just couldn’t help but notice you coming to sit over here with Kyle, after talking to me about Kyle, and then breaking things off with me,” Kevin sniffed. Kyle shook his head furiously, “Dude, no, I promise it’s not like that.” Kevin pointed a finger at Kyle, thumping him in the chest as he sneered, “You better hope your happy carrot ass it’s not.” The table shifted as Cartman stood up, grabbing Kevin’s wrist and shaking his head slowly, “I wouldn’t touch him if I were you.”

The cafeteria was silent by now; everyone’s eyes were on them, especially since Cartman stuck out like a sore thumb both because of his height and reputation. Kevin briefly looked worried, but then he just snarled, “What are you gonna do about it, fatass? You’re soft now, aren’t you? All that therapy and medication.” Cartman’s grip on his wrist tightened, and Kevin winced a little, but he smirked in satisfaction, “You can’t hurt me. You’re the problem child. Who do you think they’d believe if I told them you attacked me for no reason?” Kyle stood, which prompted Kenny and Stan to follow, “Back off, Kevin. You came over here, you started this.”

“Who’s gonna finish it?” Kevin jeered, “Not this pushover. Oh, by the way, saw your mom leaving someone’s house last night. She had her pants on inside out.” Cartman let go of his wrist and shoved him back, not too hard, but enough that the table he bumped into moved a little. It made a short screeching sound. “Don’t talk about my mom, Stoley,” The brunette snarled. Kevin stood back up straight, clenching his fists, “You wanna go, Cartman? I’m itching for a fight. I’ll talk about your prostitute mother all day lo-“

There were collective gasps from around the cafeteria as Cartman’s fist connected with Kevin’s jaw. Stoley was on the wrestling team, but he still didn’t match Cartman’s weight class. Regardless, he stumbled, but managed not to fall. Kevin grinned maniacally as he laughed, “That’s what I’m talking about!” He threw a punch back but Cartman blocked it, then went to hit him again only for Kyle to grab his arm, “Stop, he’s not worth it!” The bigger teen wasn’t listening at first, jerking his elbow back and accidentally hitting Kyle in the face. Stan jumped over the table as blood gushed from the redhead’s nose, the blow knocking him back down on the bench. Kevin froze as he and Cartman both realized what had happened.

“Fuck,” Cartman shoved Kevin away and turned to Kyle, “Jesus, are you okay? I didn’t mean to, I’m so sorry.”

“I’m fine,” Kyle reassured him, head tilted back and voice impaired by the blood dripping from his face and down his throat. Bebe and Stan were trying to gather enough napkins to hold to his nose, but he kept bleeding through them. “What is going on in here, mkay?” Mr Mackey’s voice rang above the sudden outburst of cafeteria chatter. He’d graduated from being an elementary school counselor to the high school counselor their sophomore year. Sometimes they wondered if he regretted it. Like now as he came to stand where he could see Kevin, Cartman, and Kyle, “Eric Cartman, what did you do?” Cartman blanched, “Me? It was Kevin! I mean, I hit Kyle, but that was an accident!”

“It was Kevin’s fault, Mr Mackey,” Wendy confirmed, Heidi and Bebe nodding their heads beside her. “He came over here looking to cause problems,” Kenny further explained, “he provoked them, it wasn’t Cartman’s fault.” Mr Mackey gave them all stern looks, “Regardless of who’s fault it is, mkay, I now have three students going to the principal’s office, right now.” Kyle stood carefully from the bench, holding a wad of napkins up to his face, “Maybe we should stop by the nurse first.” Mr Mackey faltered but then nodded, “Right. Eric and Kevin, you head to the principal’s office. I’ll escort Kyle there shortly, mkay.”

Kevin glowered as he and Cartman headed out of the cafeteria. Cartman was staring blankly at nothing, trying not to feel overwhelmed by all the emotions he was currently experiencing. He still felt angry, because that was something he couldn’t just turn off; he felt immensely guilty for hitting Kyle and making a scene when he could have just ignored Stoley in the first place. He also felt dread for what was going to happen. They’d call his mom, no doubt, and he’d have to explain to her that he got in a fight for the first time in nearly three years. He’d also have to tell Tracy when he saw her next, and the thought made him sick to his stomach.

As they waited by the principal’s door, Kevin was sulking beside him, lip pouting and arms crossed. Cartman leaned forward with his elbows rested on his knees, head down. He could feel a bruise forming on his elbow where it struck Kyle, and on his hand where he’d hit Kevin. Stoley himself seemed to be gaining a dark bruise on his chin already. Mr Mackey appeared soon enough, Kyle in tow. He had a towel held up to his face, but the bleeding had slowed, and it probably wasn’t necessary anymore. Cartman raised his head, giving him a pained frown. Kyle just smiled at him to say he was okay.

Mr Mackey knocked on the principal’s door and led all three boys inside. The principal was an older man that went my Mr Steve, although the students were pretty sure none of his names were Steve. “What happened here?” Mr Steve looked bewildered. Mr Mackey gestured for the boys to take a seat as he explained what he witnessed in the cafeteria, “All I saw, mkay, was Kyle get elbowed in the face and Kevin shoved into a table. But the other students say that Kevin was responsible.”

“Kevin wasn’t the one who hit Kyle,” Mr Steve looked skeptical, “but the confrontation was Kevin’s fault?” Both adults look to the students. Kevin and Kyle started talking at the same time, but Cartman refused to look at anyone. He was sitting between the two other boys, zoned out and focusing on his breathing because he could feel he would cry if he tried to face his emotions right now. “Please, one at a time,” Mr Steve sighed, “Kevin. What happened?”

Kevin pointed angrily at Kyle, “Kyle was schmoozing my girlfriend, so I went over to tell him to back off and Cartman punched me. Then Kyle told him he shouldn’t have hit me, and he elbowed him in the face.” Kyle scoffed, rolling his eyes, “Yeah, that’d be really convenient for you, wouldn’t it?” Mr Mackey pinched the bridge of his nose, “What’s your side of it, Kyle?”

“Kevin did come over to threaten me about Heidi, who apparently broke up with him, but I didn’t know that! She was just talking to me about my hair because I asked her for help with hair dye shit,” Kyle started, earning a quiet but stern reminder about his language from Mr Steve, “I’m not into Heidi, and I told Kevin that, but he still threatened me. And Cartman stood up for me and Kevin started ragging on his mom.” Kevin sat forward, sneering, “Liar! Shut up, Kyle!” Kyle spat back, “The whole cafeteria saw and heard you, Stoley, I don’t know who you think you’re kidding trying to pin this on Cartman.” Mr Mackey and Mr Steve exchanged looks, then the principal turned his attention to Cartman, “Is that true, Eric? Did Kevin make some inappropriate comments about your mom?”

Cartman couldn’t look up at him. He kept his gaze trained down at his lap, nodding his head without changing his expression. His leg was bouncing restlessly. Kyle set a hand on Cartman’s own that was gripping the armrest as Mr Mackey asked, “then why did you hit Kyle?” The Jewish boy waited to see if Cartman would answer before explaining for himself, “That was my fault, I shouldn’t have tried to get between them.”

Mr Steve sighed, shuffling some things on his desk before folding his hands and clearing his throat, “According to school policy, I have to call all of your parents and inform them there’s been a fight. However, I don’t see any reason for me to discipline Kyle. Kevin Stoley, you’ll receive a week’s worth of after school detention for purposefully picking a fight. Eric Cartman…” He trailed off, watching the big teen grind his teeth and squeeze his eyes shut. Mr Steve glanced at Mr Mackey before saying decisively, “Lunch detention on Monday with Mr Mackey. For hitting two students.”

“What?!” Kevin’s voice was high pitched and outraged, “I get a week of having to stay after school and all he gets is to sit in the counselor’s office for one day? That’s bullshit!” Mr Mackey gave him a scolding frown, and he slouched back in his seat, scowling at nothing. “If you’d like, Mr Steve, I can have Eric and Kyle wait in my room for their parents to get here, mkay.” The principal nodded, “Please.”

Mr Mackey waited for Kyle and Cartman to get up and follow before he led the way out of the office and down the hall. Cartman still wasn’t looking at anything and his expression was still blank. Kyle tentatively reached out to squeeze his hand, relieved when the brunette squeezed back. As they entered the counselor’s office and the door was closed, Cartman sat down at a table and leaned his head back, rubbing his eyes as he sighed. His voice was shaky, “I don’t want to face my mom..” Kyle sat beside him, rubbing his arm reassuringly, “She’ll understand. You were defending her.”

Cartman shook his head, “She was just telling me how proud she was that she hadn’t gotten any calls from the principal this year.” His voice wavered a little, his eyes starting to tear up. Mr Mackey settled at his desk, listening to them without input. Kyle frowned, “Dude, everybody gets their parents called on them every once in a while. If this is the first time this year, that’s still really good. Normal, even.” Cartman squeezed his eyes shut, taking a deep breath, “Yeah.. thanks, Kyle..” The ginger leaned over and kissed him on the cheek, his bloody nose towel sitting on the table in front of them. Cartman turned to him, reaching out to caress his cheek, “You sure you’re okay? That was a gusher.” Kyle chuckled, nuzzling his palm, “I’m fine, man. Don’t worry about it. Didn’t even really hurt.”

They looked up at a knock on the door, Kyle’s mom stepping inside, “Kyle, Boobie, are you alright? The principal said you got a bloody nose!” She rushed over to check on her son, who blushed and rolled his eyes, “I’m fine, Ma. It was an accident. It was stupid of me to try and break up the fight.” Sheila seemed satisfied after looking him over, turning her attention to Cartman next, “Are you okay, Eric?” Cartman was surprised, shrinking in his seat a little, “What? Y-Yeah, I’m fine. I mean, I did the punching, so…”

“That Stoley kid is a punk,” Sheila sniffed. Cartman furrowed his brow at her, tipping his head, “Yeah, he is.”

Liane appeared not long after, her expression pained as she entered the room, “Eric?” Upon seeing his mom, Cartman’s eyes watered full force. He looked away from her, sniffling and squeezing his eyes shut. Sheila took Kyle’s hand and tugged him towards the door, “I think we should leave them be. Come on, let’s go pick up Ike and we can get some ice cream for that sore nose of yours.” Kyle protested her grasp feebly, watching Cartman over his shoulder, “But.. Ma, wait-“

“It’s okay, Kyle,” Cartman assured him, but the quiver in his voice was less than convincing. Once the Broflovskis were elsewhere, Mr Mackey shut the door behind them. Liane sat down beside her son, holding her purse on her lap, “Eric.. what happened?” Cartman shook his head, folding his arms over his chest, “I got in a fight.” Liane nodded slowly, “I know, but your principal said Kevin Stoley caused it. Are you okay?” He didn’t understand why she was being so understanding. Hadn’t he let her down? He cautiously met her gaze, but even the few seconds of eye contact was too much. He choked down a sob, gripping the sides of his chair and grinding out through his teeth, “He called you a prostitute, Mom…”

His mom was silent, exchanging a glance with Mr Mackey who cleared his throat and decided to excuse himself to walk the halls or something. Liane took a breath, “I’m sorry, sweetheart-“

“I couldn’t even argue with him!” Cartman couldn’t fight the outburst, “do you know what that’s like? When other kids get their moms called whores, they can say it’s not true! I can’t and I hate that!” He had to stand up, pacing and flexing his fingers to relieve some of the tension he was feeling. Liane winced a little, “Eric, I.. I know it’s rough, but-“ Cartman cut her off again, “And I can’t even defend you or myself now because I’m the kid with anger issues and I’ve already used up my free mistakes. I got none left! Do you know how it feels to have people look at you like you’ve never done anything right in your life?!”

He was panting angrily through his nose, arms outstretched in some vague gesture that really meant nothing. Liane had tears in her eyes now, nodding at him, “Yes, I do…” He wasn’t expecting that answer, his aggression faltering as he slowly sat back down, “… What?” He watched his mother take a deep breath, fumbling to get a tissue out of her purse, “Oh, I’m so sorry, Eric. I’ve tried my best to give you a good life but it’s hard raising a baby on your own. I blame myself everyday for the troubles you have, and I wish I could’ve gotten you help sooner because I knew you were a good boy inside. And I hated that no one else could see that. But I didn’t have enough money to get you the treatment you needed.”

She paused to blow her nose, letting her words sink into Cartman’s head. He licked his lips, leaning forward to hug her, “Don’t, Mom.. I’m sorry I yelled at you, it’s not your fault..” He still had tears streaming down his face, but he was calmer now. She shook her head, “I will forever be thankful to Sheila for helping me pay for your therapy.” Cartman froze, taken aback, “… Wait, what? Kyle’s mom?” Liane nodded, sighing, “I wasn’t going to tell you, but after Gerald went away, Sheila came to me looking for advice. And comfort. She was worried she wouldn’t be able to keep up with Kyle and Ike without her husband around. She asked me how I managed without one.”

Cartman was eyeing her, silently urging her to continue. She had to blow her nose again before she could, “I told her that keeping you in mind everyday was enough to motivate me. If it was for you, it was worth whatever I had to endure. I mentioned that I was trying to save up to get you into inpatient and she offered to pay. She used part of the money Gerald left them. Said she wanted it to go somewhere good because it made her feel unclean to have.”

The brunette stared at his mother, breathing deeply and wiping his eyes, “Kyle’s mom paid for my inpatient treatment.” It was more of a statement than a question. “Yes,” Liane confirmed, “and because of that, I’m able to use the money I already had saved to pay for your outpatient therapy.” The room was quiet for a few minutes, their sniffling and breathing the only sounds to be heard. Then Cartman laughed incredulously, “I don’t even know how to feel about that. Why? After all the grief I gave her…” Liane smiled, dabbing at her eyes, “Sheila is a very smart, kind woman. She knew you were just a child. You needed help and she was willing to make that happen.”

“Does Kyle know?” Cartman couldn’t help but ask. His mom shrugged, “I don’t know. I don’t think she ever told him. Why?” He shook his head, biting his lip, “Just.. that damn family and their benefit of the doubt. I guess Kyle has to get it from somewhere.” Liane looked confused but didn’t ask what he was talking about. She stood, “Are you ready to go?” Cartman nodded, standing with her, “Yeah, I’m ready. Hey, Mom?” Liane smiled to him, taking his arm, “Yes, Poopsiekins?” This would be the second time that Cartman was the first to utter, “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” Liane beamed at her son.

* * *

In the car, Kyle was silent. His mom was rambling about something irrelevant and all he could think about was Cartman’s face before they left; scared, sick, ashamed, all manner of other things. Kyle had never seen that much emotion in him at once. No wonder he clammed up, he probably didn’t know what to do with himself. He really wished he could’ve stayed to comfort him, but he supposed it was good for Cartman and his mom to talk about what happened. Kyle sighed softly as he glanced at his phone screen for the tenth time since getting in the car. The only thing he’d gotten were texts from Stan and Kenny asking if he was alright, which he’d already responded to.

“Kyle, are you listening to me?” Sheila saying his name cut into his racing thoughts. Kyle sat up a little straighter and looked over at her, “Sorry, Ma. Just thinking. What were you saying?”

“I was saying, if you’re so worried, why don’t you invite Eric and Liane to join us at Baskin Robbins? My treat.”

Kyle stared at her, mouth slightly agape, “How did you-“ She laughed, “Kyle, please, I’m your mother! You and Eric have been hanging out constantly lately. I mean, he stayed at our house last night without Kenny or Stan. I think it’s good that you’re such close friends.” Kyle’s heart thumped his ribcage as he swallowed, nodding, “Friends, right. Close friends. Um.. sure, I’ll ask.” He again picked up his phone, but this time he messaged Cartman.

_Mom says you and your mom should meet us at Baskin Robbins. She’s paying._

It didn’t take long for Cartman to respond.

_Sounds good. We’ll be there._

Kyle smiled, biting his lip, “They’re gonna meet us there.” Sheila just nodded. They were nearing the middle school now. Unfortunately, they’d recently implemented this new drop off and pick up system that made a huge traffic line wrapping around the side of the school. There were two designated areas where parents were to idle and sometimes people liked to sit for ages either talking or waiting on their slowass children. As they pulled up to the back of the line, Kyle was stewing in his mind again. He’d done some careful planning about how he wanted to come out to his mom. He wanted to tell Stan first and have all the guys at the house when it happened. But after the day’s events, he was emotionally wired, and he wasn’t sure he could refrain from any kind of affection towards Cartman when he saw him.

He was about to throw all that planning out the window.

“Ma, I have to tell you something,” His voice sounded a lot more certain than he felt. Sheila raised an eyebrow, turning in her seat to face him as best she could, “What is it, Boobie?” Well, now was the time, so why couldn’t Kyle just say it? Sheila was patiently watching him, growing more concerned every second he hesitated. Finally, he fidgeted with his fingers, taking a few breaths and clearing his throat several times before he finally forced out, “I think I’m gay.” Silence followed, his mom staring over at him. She started to say something and then thought better of it, looking forward and tapping her fingers on the steering wheel. “Hm,” Was all she managed in response. Kyle shrunk in his seat, “That’s it? ‘Hm’?” Sheila licked her lips, “I’m trying to think of a gentle way to say I know.”

“What?” Kyle sat forward, his jaw dropping in shock, “You know? How do you know?” Sheila put her hands up in defense, “Well, I didn’t _know_, I just suspected! You never bring any girls over, you’ve never even dated as far as I’m aware.” Kyle looked a little offended, crossing his arms over his chest, “Just because I haven’t dated that doesn’t automatically make me gay, Ma.” Sheila raised her eyebrows and gave him a pointed look, “But you are gay.” Kyle threw his hands in the air, “That’s not the point! Never mind, I just wanted to tell you because-… I might be seeing someone.”

Sheila briefly glanced at him before pulling the car forward as the line moved, “Oh? Who?” her voice wasn’t convincing in the least. Kyle hunched his shoulders as he pouted at her, “You already know that, too, don’t you?” She smiled sheepishly, “Again, I’m your mother. Liane knows, too. We gossip about you two when you’re visiting.”

“Oh my God, Ma,” Kyle pinched the bridge of his nose like he was fighting a headache. He sighed through his nose, putting his hands together briefly as if composing himself, “Why didn’t you say something? I was terrified to tell you.” His mom shrugged, “I didn’t want to rush you if you weren’t ready, Boobie.” They finally reached the pick-up zone, Ike immediately rushing to get in the car. “Ike, your brother has confirmed to me that he’s gay,” Was the first thing out of Sheila’s mouth. Ike laughed as Kyle sputtered, “M-Ma!” Ike leaned forward over the center console, “You told her, huh? Did you also tell her about your boyfriend?”

Kyle scowled at him, “Yes, but nice attempt at throwing me under the bus, prick. And he’s not my boyfriend.. we haven’t talked about that yet.” Ike coughed and mumbled under his breath, “Sure sounded like your boyfriend this morning.” Sheila made a face, “Ike, that is inappropriate.” The younger brother smirked, “No, what Kyle and Cartman were doing was inappropriate. What I said is just in bad taste.” Kyle pulled his hat down over his eyes and groaned, “Shut up already, God!”

The redhead brooded the rest of the drive to Baskin Robbins. Liane and Cartman were already there, waiting on the bench outside the shop. As the Jersey family approached, Kyle walked quicker than his mom and brother. Cartman stood, smiling and opening his mouth to greet them but Kyle leaned up and briefly kissed him on the lips. The brunette was stunned, eyes flicking between Kyle and their families, “What- Kyle-“

“They already know,” The ginger sniffed indignantly, feeling like the butt end of a joke. Cartman shot his mom a look but she only smiled guiltily. He sighed dramatically, wrapping his arms around Kyle and resting his chin on the top of his head, “Well, that solves that problem, I guess.” Kyle grunted, hugging back and nuzzling Cartman’s chest. “Can we get ice cream before I get too nauseous watching this?” Ike teased loudly. Kyle reached a hand back to flip him off, which Sheila scolded him for.

As they headed inside, Cartman managed to stand next to Kyle’s mom, “Ms Sheila?” She looked surprised that he was using her name, blinking, “Yes, Eric?” He pursed his lips before simply saying, “Thank you.” He hoped his eyes conveyed that he knew what she’d done for him. She seemed to get it after a minute, smiling and nodding, “Of course. You’re very welcome.” Kyle didn’t understand the exchange but assumed Cartman had a reason for it. He smiled regardless, nudging the burly teen affectionately. He earned a smile and a nudge back for his trouble.

* * *

Saturday morning, Kyle was lying awake alone in his bed. The previous morning he’d spent cuddling with Cartman (among other things); the first time they’d purposefully laid down together for no other reason than to be close. His bed was almost too small for it and they only pulled it off because it was shoved against the wall under the window. As he stared at the ceiling now, the tiny, twin bed miraculously felt too big.

Stan had texted everybody yesterday to let them know that today was the day to go over to Wendy’s. Kyle didn’t know what time they were supposed to show up, but he supposed Stan would let them know later. As if he willed it, his phone buzzed on his nightstand with a text from the raven-haired boy, but not the text he was expecting.

_Hey, do you want to come over for a bit before we all go to Wendy’s?_

Kyle was surprised, blinking at his phone screen. He couldn’t remember the last time Stan invited him over to _his_ house. It was noon and there was no reason for him to say no, so he sent a quick reply before getting up to change out of his sleeping clothes.

_Sure. I’ll be over in a minute._

Even though they were neighbors and best friends, walking up Stan’s front steps felt nostalgic but also foreign somehow. He rapped on the door. Stan answered in just sweats and a t-shirt, smiling at him, “Hey!”

“Hey,” Kyle greeted back, stepping inside and toeing off his shoes. Stan easily sat down on the couch where he already had two controllers and his Xbox ready. The ginger didn’t say anything as he sat next to him, picking up a controller and falling into a familiar routine of mutilating zombies beside his best friend. After a while, Stan cleared his throat and said without pausing the game or looking at him, “I feel like you’re mad at me.” Kyle’s character on the screen stopped for a second, then he continued button mashing as he responded dryly, “What gives you that idea?”

Stan sighed, “That. You’ve been kinda short and passive aggressive with me lately.” Kyle schooled his features into a more neutral expression as he shrugged. Stan then paused the game, “Come on, dude. What’s going on?” Kyle was already irritated that he hadn’t figured it out, but he forced himself not to get angry yet, “It’s the fact that you’ve been blowing us off for Wendy, okay? And then lying to me about it on top of that. I’m not stupid, Stan.” The raven-haired teen leaned back a bit, stunned and obviously guilty, “I-.. Kyle, I don’t think you’re stupid, I just.. I knew you’d be mad, but I thought maybe you’d feel better if you didn’t know it was Wendy I was with.”

“Except that I did know, and you lied to me,” Kyle folded his arms over his chest, “And I might feel a little better about it if you didn’t lie, but it’s not just that. It’s that you ditch me at her beck and call, no matter what.” Stan struggled to answer, “W-Well, dude, we’ve spent our entire lives together. I should be able to hang out with people besides you, too.” Kyle blanched, narrowing his eyes and gripping the Xbox controller tighter, “You _can _hang out with other people. But maybe you should say that’s what you want instead of blowing off your friends after you’ve already made plans with them!” He was getting really annoyed now, and Stan wasn’t fairing much better.

“Cartman and Kenny don’t care, in case you haven’t noticed,” Stan pointed out, “it’s just you, Kyle.” The Jewish boy stood up, “They do too care! They just don’t say anything to you because they’re not your best friend! Kenny gets sad when you leave us, and Cartman-...” He trailed off, prompting Stan to get to his feet and challenge, “What? What about Cartman?”

“He defends you to me,” Kyle spat, “when I’m angry and ranting and I think that I _hate _you, he reminds me that I don’t.”

Stan stared at him, fists clenched and face red, “You hate me now?” Kyle rolled his eyes, “No, I don’t. Sometimes I wish I could, but I can’t, no matter how shitty you act.” Stan scoffed, a disgusted look on his face, “How shitty _I_ act? You’re the one who’s been palling around with Eric fucking Cartman lately.” Kyle bristled, “What’s that supposed to mean? That just because he’s my friend now, that makes me a bad person? He’s not the same anymore, Stan. But you wouldn’t know that because you’ve been busy with your head up Wendy’s ass!”

“Shut up, Kyle!” Stan made a wide gesture with his arms, “Look at you! You smoke with him and Kenny, you died your hair to fit _his_ joke, you let him call you names like it’s funny, it’s like you’ve lost all self-respect!” Kyle snarled and threw the Xbox controller down on the couch, “Actually, I’ve gained a whole new _level_ of self-respect because I came out to my mom yesterday! And I was going to tell you first, but you’ve been so distant that there was more opportunity for me to tell Kenny than you!”

Stan was silent, eyeing his friend as they both panted angrily. Stan’s voice was a little calmer as he asked, “What do you mean, came out? You’re gay?” Kyle snorted, brushing his curly hair out of his face, “Yeah, Stan. I’m gay. Congratulations, you’re the last one to know.” Stan tilted his head, face screwing up in confusion, “The last one? You told _Cartman_ before me?” Kyle hesitated in answering, his voice devolving to a mumble as he said, “Well I didn’t really have to tell _him_, he sorta figured it out…”

Stan narrowed his eyes in accusation, “I knew it. You’re fucking him.”

“Jesus Christ, Stan,” Kyle glowered, “I’m not fucking him. We’re-.. in a relationship, sort of. We haven’t labeled it yet, okay?” Stan threw his hands in the air, looking disturbed and almost amazed, “Are you serious? Kyle, he literally made your life hell all through elementary and middle school! Don’t you think he might be setting you up or something? To humiliate you?” Kyle raised an eyebrow, crossing his arms over his chest, “Yes, Stan, he’s setting me up. He went to months of inpatient therapy and continues to go to outpatient just to convince me to trust him. He takes his medication every morning and every night- which I’ve witnessed, by the way- just to make me think he’s a different person. It’s a long con, but I’m sure all the money that’s gone into that shit will be worth humiliating me in the end.”

Stan faltered. He didn’t have a rebuttal for that. Now that he thought about it without clouded judgement, yeah, that seemed pretty dumb to think. But still, he shook his head, “He could be just using you. Or driving us apart, you ever think of that?” Kyle huffed in annoyance, “Did you miss the part where I said he defends you to me? In fact, it was _my_ idea to use my friendship with him to make you jealous. At least, that’s how it started… But you didn’t care, anyway, because you’ve been preoccupied. Which by the way, I don’t think you should be giving me dating advice, with your track record.”

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” Stan curled his lip up in a snarl. Kyle sneered, “You know what it means. You and Wendy are on and off all the time. Cartman and I may be a weird couple, but at least we’re consistent.” Stan looked away, not having anything to say to that. He swallowed, voice thick as he shook his head, “You don’t know what you’re talking about.” Kyle relaxed a little, seeing Stan’s conflict over the situation. He sighed, “Look, I’m sorry. I should’ve said something earlier about you hanging out with Wendy bothering me. Or at least that I knew you were lying.” Stan scoffed lightly and sat back down on the couch, “Yeah.. I’m sorry I lied. And.. for what I said about you and Cartman..” He still looked a little queasy saying it, but it was a step in the right direction. Kyle sat beside him, silent for the moment.

They both stewed in their own minds for a while, then Kyle finally glanced to Stan and asked, “Why do you and Wendy keep breaking up?” The raven-haired boy sighed heavily and pushed his hand back through his hair, licking his lips, “I don’t really know, to be honest.. Just sometimes one of us will get antsy and start a fight that isn’t important at all. Mountains out of molehills, that sort of thing. Last time it was me and I said some pretty nasty things to her…” Kyle looked down at the floor, tapping his fingers on his knee, “It’s not her that makes you ditch us, is it.” It was more of a statement than it was a question. Stan shook his head, “No. In fact, she tells me I should just hang out with you guys when I say I will, but I want to hang out with her. We’ve fought about that before, too.”

More silence and then Stan turned to Kyle with a furrowed brow and claimed, “You know you’re still my best friend, right Kyle?” The ginger boy bit his lip, shaking his head, “Stan, we’re friends, but I think we haven’t been best friends for a long time now. When’s the last time you invited me over before today?” Stan frowned deeply, eyes sad. He had to think about it before admitting, “I don’t remember.”

“People grow apart, and that’s okay,” Kyle said, unable to meet Stan’s eyes, “I didn’t want to accept it at first. I was trying to keep you close but I think that just pushed you farther away. I’m sorry for that.” Stan breathed out through his nose, rubbing his eye, “I’m sorry, too. I’ll try to be more mindful of hanging out with you guys, okay? And I’ll… try to be more accepting of Cartman.” Kyle nodded slowly, “Thanks.. I’ll lay off you and Wendy, too.”

The pause menu music floated around the living room as Stan and Kyle stared at nothing. “Probably a good thing this came out before we went to Wendy’s,” Stan mused quietly, rubbing his chin. Kyle grunted his agreement, “I still think it’s gonna be weird, dude. That’s why I didn’t want to go by myself. I’d just be a third wheel.” Stan frowned and sighed guiltily, “Yeah, I know. I was trying to kid myself into thinking it was a good idea, but I’m actually glad you suggested bringing Kenny and Cartman. Wendy invited Bebe and Heidi, too, so she’s not the only girl with a bunch of guys.” Kyle snorted, rolling his eyes with a small smile, “Oh, boy. Kenny’ll like that.”

Stan laughed, scratching his head, “Yeah, that’s what I told her, but she didn’t see a problem.” Kyle’s phone rang in his pocket, making him jump in surprise. He dug it out and bit his lip with a quick glance to Stan, then cleared his throat as he answered, “Hey. Uh, I’m actually next door at Stan’s. Okay, gimme just a second.” He hung up and gave his friend a sheepish grin, “Cartman says he has donuts waiting for us, if you want.”

“Us?” Stan’s eyes widened in surprise. Kyle shrugged, “He said you can have one.” Stan looked a little skeptical, but then shook his head and forced himself not to think too much about it. He nodded, smiling, “Alright. Let’s go.” Kyle went to put his shoes back on as Stan ran upstairs to grab his own. When they entered Kyle’s house, they could hear voices from the kitchen, Cartman’s among them. “Are you having a party without me?” Kyle falsely complained as he joined them. Cartman was sitting across from his mom, who had her reading glasses on and was working on paperwork of some kind. Ike was beside Sheila, a donut in one hand and a Coke in the other. “Oh, you still exist,” Ike teased his brother, sipping obnoxiously on the can of soda.

Cartman rolled his eyes, “Glad you got here before Ike ate them all. I wasn’t even planning on sharing with anyone but Kyle, you know. I paid for these.” Ike just looked smug as Sheila chuckled under her breath. Stan stepped out from behind Kyle to wave, and Sheila raised her head in surprise, “Stan! Welcome!”

“Hey, guys,” Stan greeted, following Kyle over to the table. The ginger took the space beside Cartman, leaving Stan to sit at the end of the table adjacent to him and Sheila. Cartman didn’t say anything as Stan and Kyle each took a donut from the box. “So,” Kyle spoke around a mouthful of fried dough, which Cartman raised an eyebrow at, “I may have outed us to Stan.” The taller teen snapped his eyes over to Stan for a second, then back to Kyle, “Dude, you gotta warn me before you just drop that shit on people.” Kyle blushed and smiled apologetically, “Sorry. I didn’t really mean to, we were, uh.. having a very intense conversation.”

Cartman let out a dramatic, long suffering sigh, “When am I gonna get to tell someone before you do?” Kyle chuckled and briefly nudged his forehead against Cartman’s shoulder, “I mean, all the important people know now, so I guess you can tell whoever you want.” Cartman grinned mischievously, “I’m gonna use Mr Mackey’s PA speaker to announce it during lunch.” Kyle groaned and rolled his eyes.

Stan looked the slightest bit uncomfortable watching them, but he couldn’t tell if it was normal ‘uncomfortable because PDA’ or if it was specifically because it was Kyle and Cartman. Either way, he ignored it in favoring of putting in sarcastically, “You could tell Bebe and Heidi at Wendy’s tonight. Then everyone in the school will know by Monday morning.”

“Bebe and Heidi will be there?” Cartman made a face, “great, Kenny’s gonna be within hair-sniffing distance of them all night.” Sheila cleared her throat and gave them all pointed looks, “I really don’t want to hear that, boys.” They murmured apologies to her, snickering to themselves.

* * *

Wendy came to pick up Stan, and since he was with Kyle and Cartman, she drove them, too; and she figured they might as well go get Kenny and not make him the only one to have to walk. When Bebe and Heidi were mentioned, Kenny looked predictably excited and sly. Stan didn’t say anything to Wendy about Kyle and Cartman, and he even told them he wouldn’t because it was their decision. Kyle was pleased by that, and even more pleased and amused that Cartman insist he be the one to get to tell this time.

They pulled up in her driveway and everyone piled out, chattering idly to each other. The other girls were already there waiting in Bebe’s car, walking up to the house when they saw them. “Hey boys. Hi, Kenny,” Heidi smiled at them, batting her eyelashes at the stoner, who grinned back with half-lidded eyes. Bebe rolled hers and subtly stood herself next to Kyle; consequently, also next to Cartman.

Wendy had a full spread of snacks that Kenny added to with what he’d brought, and Stan had a bag of stuff, as well. Wendy’s parents weren’t super rich, but they were extravagant. Their den was a large sitting area with bean bag chairs, two love seats, and the biggest, wall-mounted, flat screen TV they could find. Connected to said TV was an Amazon firestick that Wendy had had Craig jailbreak for her. Kenny whistled, impressed, “This rival’s Token’s viewing room, gotta say.” Wendy looked flattered by that.

“So, what’s our movie lineup?” Stan asked, plopping himself on a loveseat where Wendy would inevitably join him later. “Well, I can get pretty much anything you guys want,” She started scrolling through the list of recommended titles. Kenny took one of the beanbag chairs near Stan and Wendy, pleasantly surprised when Heidi sat next to him in another beanbag. Bebe hurried to claim the other loveseat, trying her best to look nonchalant. Kyle knew what she was doing but paid her no mind, pulling another beanbag over to the loveseat and relaxing into it with a sigh, “I love these things. I should get one for my room.” Cartman was hesitant to sit next to Bebe, giving her an apologetic smile which she just shrugged at. She was clearly hiding her disappointment.

When the brunette sat down, Kyle positioned his beanbag chair against his legs, allowing him to lean back onto them. Wendy and Bebe glanced at each other, but Heidi was too preoccupied exchanging suggestive smiles with Kenny. “Alien,” Kyle said to thin air. Stan raised an eyebrow, “Alien the movie?” The ginger nodded, leaning to grab a handful of licorice sticks from the snack pile. “Why Alien?” Cartman chuckled, absentmindedly ruffling Kyle’s hair. His hand didn’t leave it. Kyle shrugged, “I don’t know, I’m in the mood for a horror or thriller.” No one had any objections, so Wendy searched it up and put it on. She even turned the main lights off and a corner lamp on for better ambience.

They made it through the first movie and fifteen minutes into the second before Kyle got up to use the restroom. Once he was gone, Bebe cleared her throat and said quietly to Cartman, “Does Kyle like anyone?” The burly teen blinked in surprise, then faintly blushed and coughed, “Uh, I don’t know, Bebe. Why?”

“Do you think he could like me?” She turned pleading eyes on him. This was an interesting situation because, one the one hand, Cartman really wanted to tell her there was no possible way Kyle could like her because he was already in a relationship. But on the other hand, he didn’t want to make that announcement without Kyle there. He breathed out through his nose, rubbing the back of his head, “Um.. even if I did know, I don’t think it’s my place to comment on that.” She frowned, furrowing her brow, “But you guys are really close lately. Not that I understand why or how that happened.”

Wendy and Heidi were watching them now, and even Stan and Kenny were giving them curious glances every now and then. Cartman felt put on the spot, shifting in his seat and clearing his throat, “Well, I-.” Kyle reappeared then, dropping back into his beanbag seat. It took him a second to notice that everyone was looking at him. He glanced around at them, “What?” Bebe scooted to the edge of her seat and took a deep breath before admitting, “Kyle, I like you a lot.”

The Jewish boy stared at her, clenching his jaw for a moment. Wendy paused the movie, which now meant all attention was on Kyle’s answer. He puffed out his cheeks, sitting forward and trying to look as serious as one can sinking in a beanbag chair, “Um.. Bebe, I’m.. I’m gay.” Heidi actually gasped, which was pretty dramatic, but okay. Bebe herself looked shocked and confused, “What? O-Oh.. But..” She turned her head to Cartman like he should’ve told her that, but the bigger boy just held up his hands in surrender, “Hey, I told you it wasn’t my place to comment.” She shook her head, worrying her bottom lip between her teeth before blurting, “How do you _know_ you’re gay?”

“Bebe,” Wendy sounded _offended_ for Kyle, “That’s so rude.” Kyle waved his wrist to tell her it was fine, “I know because-.. I’m seeing someone.” The room fell silent. Stan and Kenny already had their eyes on Cartman was they waited for the inevitable question. “Who?” Bebe sounded incredulous, like he couldn’t possibly be seeing someone without her knowing about it. Kyle locked eyes with Cartman and they had a back and forth debate about what to do next when Heidi stood up from her beanbag and deadpanned, “No _fucking_ way, I _totally_ called that shit.”

Bebe glared at her, “Called what?” Kyle sucked in a nervous breath through his teeth, rubbing the back of his neck and refusing to make eye contact as he mumbled, “Well, you know, there’s a.. a chance, a small possibility, really, that.. it might be Cartman…”

“Awh, dick, you said I could do it this time!” The boy in question huffed, folding his arms over his chest. Kyle scoffed incredulously, “You had plenty of opportunity to step in, asshole, you let me flounder over here.” Cartman tsk’d under his breath, “I was waiting for a que from you or something.” Bebe jumped to her feet as if she’d been burned, standing in front of the huge television so her figure was backlit as she nearly shrieked, “_What?!_” Kyle looked at Cartman expectantly. The brunette flushed as he stuck his tongue out, “You would leave me with the difficult part..” He brushed his hair back as he said aloud for the first time, “Kyle and I are-.. seeing each other.”

It made him feel light and happy to say, but the look on Bebe’s face was near frightening, “Are you fucking _kidding_ me, Kyle? _Cartman_? When I’m right here and have been silently begging for you to notice for like a year now?” Kyle got to his feet, as well, “Well, it’s not like I can just magically be into women, Bebe. Or anyone, for that matter. You can’t force yourself to like someone.” Bebe narrowed her eyes skeptically, “You’re telling me you don’t have to force yourself to be okay with kissing Eric fucking Cartman?”

“Wow, I’m right here, and I have feelings,” Cartman frowned, glaring at her. She ignored him. “Let’s just calm down-,” Wendy started to say, but Bebe cut her off, “Don’t tell me to calm down, Wendy! How are you not upset about this?” Heidi wrinkled her nose in confusion, “Why would _we_ be upset? Fucking shocked, yeah, maybe even confused and a little suspicious because it sounds like a prank. Which if it is, I give you props. That’s some next level material.” Kyle rolled his eyes, “It’s not a prank. And it’s not an attack! Why are you so angry about, Bebe?”

Bebe was fuming, staring Kyle down and clenching her fists. She had to compose herself a moment before spitting, “Because it sounds like you’re just making up an excuse to let me down easy, instead of telling me the truth that you don’t like me.” Kyle’s voice was pleading as he put his hands out in a request for peace, “Bebe. I’m not into you that way. But that’s unrelated. This isn’t an excuse.”

“Prove it.”

“_Bebe_,” Wendy and Heidi were both scolding her now. “Bebe, please. I know you’re upset and probably heartbroken, but this is not the reaction to have, girl.” Heidi pleaded. “No, I want him to prove it! Prove that he could ever be even remotely attracted to that fat tub of lard who’s done nothing but make everybody’s life hell since elementary school.” Cartman stood up, then, facing her down. To say the height difference was intimidating was an understatement. Kyle could see he was well and truly angry, his hands shaking as he pointed at Bebe, “That’s enough. I don’t have to take that from you or anybody else. I’ve been trying my damnedest to better myself as a person, which is more than most people can say in this backwater fucking town. Yeah, I know I fucked up, a lot. I’m not denying that, and I never will. But the difference between me then and me now is that I know it was _my fault_. I don’t blame other people for my mistakes anymore.”

He had to take a breath before he could continue, “In fact, I take full blame for things that weren’t entirely my fault, too. Don’t you dare stand there and make comments about my weight and my past and expect me not to be able to defend myself. My mother busts her ass doing a _horrible_ fucking job to _make sure_ I can be a normal fucking person now. Whether you agree with it or not, I deserve something good in my life, too. And I get that in the form of the kindest daywalker Jew you’ll ever meet. So tell me again this is a lie, Bebe, because I’m this close to backhanding that disgusted look right off your face.”

Bebe’s eyes watered but she had nothing else to say. She swallowed thickly, sniffing as she grabbed her phone off the loveseat and mumbled, “I’m going home. I’ll see you guys at school.” She pushed past Cartman, who stepped aside to let her, still trembling with his anger. “But wait,” Heidi weakly protested, “she was my ride.” Wendy rolled her eyes, “As if you can’t just stay here.” Kyle turned to Cartman, noting his red face and angry breathing, “Are you okay?””

“I need to step outside,” The taller teen grunted, heading to the back door and letting it close itself, so he didn’t slam it. Kyle frowned, looking to the rest of them defensively, “Anyone else got something to say?” Wendy hesitated before meekly saying, “I think you guys are funny together. It’s kinda cute.” Heidi just shrugged, “No judgement from me. I find it hilarious and ironic.” Kyle sighed, relaxing a little and eyeing the back door. “Well go,” Kenny said as if they were all thinking it, “don’t just stand in here.” Kyle blushed lightly before nodding and heading out the back.

Cartman was pacing, biting his thumb nail with his arms crossed and brow furrowed deeply. He glanced up as Kyle approached, “I’m sorry.” The ginger boy paused and titled his head, “Why? She was being a bitch.” Cartman shook his head, his voice barely audible as he continued to pace, “I shouldn’t have lost my temper like that.”

“You were defending yourself,” Kyle argued, “you’re allowed to do that.” The brunette let out a shaky breath, leaning against the house, bent over with his hands on his knees. He licked his lips, sniffling and wiping his eyes, “It’s just hard to calm down after I get angry..” Kyle hummed, standing in front of him. He raised his hands to thread his fingers through Cartman’s hair, burying his nose down to his scalp and basically hugging his head to his neck. The brunette huffed, clinging around Kyle’s waist and nosing his neck. “Your kind daywalker Jew loves you,” Kyle mumbled, kissing into his hair. Cartman let out a quiet half laugh, half sob, “I love you, too, Kyle..”

They stayed like that until Cartman stopped shaking. Then he straightened up and sighed briskly into the night air, “I’m worried about that, you know.” Kyle hugged around his waist, resting his head on his chest, “About what?” Thick fingers in his hair made him close his eyes happily as Cartman responded, “people thinking it’s a joke, or that we don’t belong together.” Kyle snorted, looking up at the taller boy and batting his eyelashes, “Good thing that’s not for them to decide.” That earned him a grin, which he returned before leaning up to press his lips to Cartman’s briefly. “Come back inside,” He whispered between them, “we still have a whole night to enjoy.”


	7. If This is Sin, Then Call Me a Sinner

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SMUT WHEN THEY GET TO CARTMAN’S HOUSE. It ends at a horizontal line, so skip to that to continue!
> 
> Chapter title is based on my friend calling this sin lmao. Just for you, Canopy! <3
> 
> This is it, guys; the last real chapter (debating doing one more purely for the smutty people, like myself; if there’s an 8th chapter, it’s just sex). Thank you so much for coming on this adventure with me. I’ve never finished a whole fanfic before, and it feels pretty damn good to get to mark this complete. This most definitely will not be the only South Park fanfiction I write, and I already have an idea for a different kind of Kyman scenario. I’d also like to explore writing Creek and potentially ButtersXKenny, too. There are too many possibilities.
> 
> Anyway, this is my first real contribution to the South Park fandom and I feel good about it. Maybe hit me up on the South Park Amino, if you’ve got it. My username on there is DashCam with some clapping emojis. I don’t ever post there but you can message me, if you want. Or if you’ve got a Telegram, my user is @DashingHeights.
> 
> Let’s call this finished!

Wendy wasn’t particularly fussed about anyone going home. She and Stan had retreated up to her room around midnight, which Kenny snickered and catcalled about. Then he and Heidi migrated to the loveseat to lean close and whisper to each other. Kyle would’ve said something about Kenny being careful messing around with Heidi because they already saw how possessive Kevin Stoley was of her; but he didn’t really have the heart. Not when he knew Kenny had been fawning over her for a while now. It’d be good for him to give his libido a break and be loyal for once.

Kyle himself was curled up on the other loveseat, Cartman snoring on his chest. He had his fingers in brunette hair, combing idly as he stared at the TV without really watching it. “Hey psst, Kyle,” Heidi whispered over at him, making him lazily turn his head on the couch arm. She and Kenny were as close as two people can be without sitting on each other. She giggled as Kenny said something in her ear; something Kyle was sure he didn’t want to know. Heidi cleared her throat quietly, “I was just wondering, when did you start to like Cartman?”

The Jewish boy furrowed his brow and looked up at the ceiling as he thought about that. “I don’t know,” He answered truthfully, “I think it just sort of happened. I didn’t even think about it until-… Well, until we kissed for the first time..” Heidi giggled more, flapping her wrist at Kenny as he whispered something else to her. “What even led up to that?”

“Um,” Kyle blushed deeply, absentmindedly kneading Cartman’s scalp and laying his other arm over his back, “I was angry at Stan for blowing us off again and Cartman let me rant to him. I honestly don’t know why I did it, I just wanted to. I needed to.” Heidi looked surprised, “You kissed him first?” Kyle nodded sheepishly, “He’s really not the same as he used to be. Yeah, he still calls me names, but I do that back. It’s almost like nicknames now.” Kenny and Heidi were smirking at him, but he just sniffed indignantly, “You asked.”

The big teen laying on top of him grunted and mumbled something about shutting the fuck up. Kyle chuckled softly, rolling his eyes. He laid his head back on the arm of the loveseat, closing his eyes with a relaxed smile on his face. He could still hear Heidi and Kenny whispering, but right now he was focused on the weight of Cartman on top of him and the way their breathing fell in sync. It had been quite a while since he’d felt peace like this.

* * *

The next morning, Cartman hadn’t moved from his place on top of Kyle. He had one arm dangling off the side of the couch, the other wrapped under the ginger’s waist. Kyle himself had both hands on Cartman’s wide back, his head lulled to the right. There was movement in the house of the others making breakfast and quietly chatting. Heidi had ended up sleeping on the other loveseat while Kenny took the floor (which was honestly more comfortable than his bed at home). Now there was the smell of bacon wafting through the air and Cartman stirred from it.

He yawned, sitting up a little to look over Kyle. He couldn’t help the grin that spread over his face, nuzzling up the redhead’s chest and kissing at his neck and over his cheeks. Kyle squirmed and grunted in protest, mumbling some complaint about it being too early. Cartman chuckled, caressing up his neck and nipping at his ear, “I’m pretty sure it’s like one in the afternoon, but okay.” Kyle eventually hummed as the brunette continued to lay kisses over his face and neck. He sighed pleasantly, voice rough with sleep, “If I could wake up like this every morning, I’d be so fucking happy.” Cartman laughed, nodding his agreement, “You and me both.”

“Smells like breakfast,” Kyle commented, sitting up on his elbows. “Mhm,” Cartman wiggled his eyebrows, “but no bacon for you, Jewboy, which means more for me. Let’s go.” He got up off the couch and offered his hand to Kyle, who took it gratefully. The ginger yelped as he was yanked to his feet, only to melt into the kiss Cartman dragged him into. It lasted a good few seconds, then Cartman eagerly dragged him off to the kitchen. Heidi and Wendy were sitting at the island bar while Kenny and Stan cooked. They already had plates piled with eggs, hash browns, pancakes, and bacon. “Oh, look who decided to join us,” Heidi teased as Cartman and Kyle sat next to the girls. “There’s food, of course we did,” Kyle teased back.

Kenny and Stan dished up for everyone, passing plates along by sliding them along the counter. When they got there’s, Kyle put his portion of bacon on Cartman’s plate without a word. Kenny apologized for giving him pork in the first place, but Kyle just waved it off. Cartman grinned smugly as he said, “if nothing else, your religion is good for getting me more bacon.” The others paused and glanced to Kyle for his response, as something like that would usually start a verbal if not physical fight. However, this time, Kyle simply looked unimpressed. As Cartman was picking up his fork, Kyle took it from him. “What-“ Cartman stared as Kyle put the fork in his mouth, lathering it in spit before giving it back. The brunette looked offended, his nose and brow crinkled, “Real mature, Kyle.”

Then Cartman stabbed a forkful of eggs and leaned over to murmur in his ear just barely loud enough for the others to hear, “As if your spit is the worst thing that’s ever been in my mouth.” The Jewish boy choked on the water he was sipping, setting the glass down and coughing as Cartman put the bite of eggs in his mouth. Stan looked mildly horrified while Kenny was laughing hysterically. Wendy and Heidi were trying to pretend they hadn’t heard but were both fighting some sort of laughter and/or grimace. Once he was done coughing, Kyle hid his very red face in his hands, grumbling inaudibly. Cartman kissed his cheek before turning his full attention to his breakfast.

They all helped clean up, to Wendy’s delight, and then Heidi asked for a ride home. Kenny, Cartman, and Kyle assured Wendy they were fine walking; since Stan was probably staying with her anyway, he went in the car. Kenny parted ways with them at the train tracks, snickering something about them not having too much fun on their own. Kyle rolled his eyes as they started the trek down the street, “As if he knows what goes on.”

“What does go on?” Cartman smirked, putting an arm around Kyle’s shoulders. The ginger sighed and shook his head, fighting a smile, “Nothing he’d actually want to know.” Cartman made a face, “I don’t know about that, Kenny’s like really pervy, dude. If he had the opportunity, he’d probably watch.” Kyle gagged, “Gross, dude! Don’t say that!” Cartman shrugged apologetically.

Kyle’s house was in the distance now. His steps slowed as he saw it. “What’s wrong?” The tall brunette asked him. Kyle sighed softly, “I just don’t want to go home yet.” Cartman smiled down at him, flicking one of the muffs on his ushanka playfully, “You can always come over to my house.” Kyle bit his lip, eyeing Cartman. They both knew what would end up happening if they were allowed a house to themselves. “That’s probably a bad idea,” Kyle proposed, but he didn’t sound like he meant it. Cartman raised an eyebrow, grinning cheekily, “Is it?”

They passed Kyle’s house without a glance, their steps almost hurried now. Liane’s car was gone, so they were truly alone. Cartman was barely able to close the door before Kyle was on him; tugging at his clothes and hair, aggressively claiming his lips. “Wow, eager,” Cartman tried to tease, but Kyle was already dragging him towards the stairs. “I want to shower,” Kyle’s voice left no room for argument, not that Cartman would dare. Much as their public dynamic would suggest the taller boy was the dominant one, in reality, Kyle called every shot in or out of bed. Really, all that was missing was for Cartman to say ‘as you wish’ every time the Jewish boy asked (or told) him to do something. It was a power dynamic that worked for both of them.

Cartman locked the bathroom door as Kyle started a hot shower, both boys stripping down to nothing without a word. Kyle drew back the curtain with a coy smile over his shoulder, which Cartman gulped at. No matter how many times he’d seen that expression, it still made him giddy and nervous. He stepped in behind Kyle, putting his arms around his waist and kissing the crook of his neck. The ginger craned his head to give him better access, humming blissfully. Kyle licked his lips as he reached behind himself, pleasantly surprised that Cartman was already hard. The brunette sucked in a breath as Kyle stroked him, the Jew leaning back to rest his head on Cartman’s shoulder as he cooed softly, “I want you to hold me up against the wall, okay?”

He felt a nod against his temple, Cartman puffing irregularly in his ear. He waited for Kyle to turn around before hoisting him up by the hips and pinning him against the shower wall. Kyle wrapped his legs around Cartman’s waist, sighing at the pressure of the bigger boy’s weight. “Good,” He purred, running a hand through Cartman’s short hair. The brunette’s hands were under his butt as he rocked him against the wall, panting lightly. Kyle hummed and mewled, fingers caressing down Cartman’s neck and chest, back up and over his shoulders to knead the muscles of his back.

Cartman pressed his forehead to Kyle’s chest, kneading the backs of his thighs and shivering with every thrust of his hips. He watched with perverse fascination as Kyle reached down between them to squeeze them both together. The redhead moaned out above him, burying his nose in Cartman’s hair and kissing over his scalp. “Harder,” Kyle’s voice was soft and wrecked, and Cartman could do nothing but obey him because it wasn’t like he was capable of arguing right then. “Oh, yes..” Kyle gasped loudly, his moans starting to echo through the small shower space. They were home alone, so neither worried about stifling noise this time. Cartman was excited to see just how loud Kyle would get.

Thin fingers were jerking desperately at their lengths when Cartman brought his hand to palm the tip of Kyle’s dick. The ginger knocked his head back against the shower tiles and cried out a pitiful, “Eric! Oh fuck, yes..”

“Yeah?” Cartman wanted to egg him on because he loved hearing him, “you like that?” Kyle nodded, wheezing, “Yes, oh my God.. Don’t stop, please..” Cartman raised his head to kiss the underside of Kyle’s jaw, finding the perfect spot to suck a bruise onto his neck. He might get an earful for that later, since they technically weren’t completely public yet, but Kyle wasn’t complaining about it at the moment. “Wouldn’t dream of it,” He growled, ears ringing with Kyle’s sweet whimpers and moans. His first name was sprinkled in periodically, like the Jew couldn’t think of anything else to say.

“You sound so beautiful,” Cartman murmured against the shell of Kyle’s ear, nuzzling there, “I could listen to you for the rest of my life.” Kyle whined at that, leaning his head into Cartman and squeezing his eyes shut, “Eric…” There was a lot more behind that utterance than Cartman was willing to unpack right now, so he brought the focus back downward by rubbing his thumb around Kyle’s cockhead. He got a yelp in response, Kyle eagerly bucking his hips and arching his back off the wall. “Are you close?” Cartman asked against his neck. The ginger nodded eagerly, “Mmhm..”

“Say it.”

“M’close,” Kyle damn near sobbed, wrapping his arms around Cartman’s neck and burying his face in his hair. The brunette kissed his chin, then knelt down on the shower floor and carefully settled Kyle’s legs over his shoulders. “E-Eric,” Kyle stuttered, face red as he watched him lick his lips. “Just keep saying my name, Sweetheart,” Cartman cooed up at him, batting his eyelashes coyly as he took the tip in his mouth to suckle. Kyle jolted, hissing through his teeth and furrowing his brow, “Ah.. Eric..” The sweetheart thing was different, and it made Kyle’s stomach churn pleasantly, but he didn’t have the time or willpower to think about it.

“Eric, I- aah.. I’m gonna cum if you keep d-doing that..” He warned, hips rocking insistently and thighs quivering on either side of Cartman’s head. He didn’t stop, looking up at Kyle and humming around him. “Oh, fuck..” The ginger shuddered, feeling his gut clench and legs almost cramp, “I.. I’m..” Cartman drew his tongue over the slit and that was it; Kyle jerked and threw his head back, body arching as he released. Cartman couldn’t take it in his mouth, turning his head so it caught his cheek and chin instead, but that was fine. Kyle trembled as he came down from his orgasm, eyelids fluttering.

He noticed Cartman was still panting and puffing, his cheek pressed to Kyle’s thigh and eyes squeezed shut. He realized the brunette hadn’t finished yet and, judging by the movement of his shoulders, was stroking himself to orgasm. Kyle didn’t have the energy to move, but he did caress over Cartman’s neck and into his hair, cooing softly and mewling for him like he knew he liked. “Eric,” He whispered, drawing the other boy’s hazy gaze, “finish for me, Eric.”

It didn’t take much more than that for Cartman to bite down on Kyle’s inner thigh and groan as he came. He carefully let the ginger boy’s legs down from his shoulders. They were a little wobbly, but Kyle just held onto Cartman for support. “Wow,” He hummed as he hugged around his waist, “That was..”

“The best yet?” Cartman grinned shyly, earning a huffed laugh from Kyle, “yeah, it fucking was. You’re amazing.” Kyle shook his head, blushing deeply, “I don’t know if I deserve the praise you give me.” Cartman brushed his fingers through the ginger’s wet hair, kissing his forehead tenderly, in direct contrast with his words, “Too fucking bad, you’re getting it.” Kyle just laughed, hugging him tighter.

* * *

Monday morning, Kyle, Cartman, and Kenny were sitting at their usual spot waiting for school to start when they spotted Stan, Wendy, and Heidi headed their way. Kyle had already noticed that he was getting strange looks, and he could hear people whispering but he couldn’t make out what they were saying. Heidi looked distraught and a little guilty as she stood at the end of the picnic table, worrying her bottom lip between her teeth. “What?” Cartman asked, raising an eyebrow. Stan and Wendy were silent.

“Um..” Heidi wrung her hands together, “I tried to convince her not to.. but Bebe may have told some people about-.. you guys..” She looked pointedly between Kyle and Cartman, who glanced at each other and sighed. “Great,” Kyle scrubbed his face with both hands, “I didn’t mean to upset her, okay? What else was I supposed to tell her?” Wendy shook her head, “You didn’t do anything wrong, Kyle. Bebe’s dramatic, we know that. I didn’t realize she would cause a scene, or I wouldn’t have invited her.” She burrowed her neck down into her coat and glanced elsewhere as she mumbled, “Although, to be fair, I also didn’t know you were gonna drop that bombshell on us.”

Cartman rolled his eyes as Heidi sat down by Kenny, still looking guilty, “It’s whatever. The rumors would’ve happened eventually, anyway.”

“Didn’t you _want_ to be public?” Stan asked, confused. Kyle pursed his lips, “Yeah, but _we_ wanted to tell everyone, not have Bebe tell everyone.” Stan nodded in understanding, frowning. “I mean, this might be kind of fun to fuck with people over,” Cartman suggested, smirking at Kyle, who snorted. “How so?” The ginger asked, folding his arms over his chest. Cartman snickered, “Well if people ask, I’ll just tell them you’re a Jew and for me to date you would be crazy.” Kyle actually laughed at that, “Okay, and I’ll tell them you’re an asshole and that it’d be a miracle if I ever dated you.” This was a joke they were clearly the only ones in on, because the others looked lost but amused, nonetheless.

When the bell rang and everyone shuffled into the school building, they were already bombarded with their first curious pedestrians. Stan was with Wendy at her locker and Kenny was standing a few feet away when some of the girls in their grade approached Cartman and Kyle. Annie Knitts and Nichole Daniels were heading them, their expressions nervous and almost reluctant. “Hey, guys,” Nichole started, giving Annie a glance, “is what people are saying true?”

“What are people saying?” Kyle feigned ignorance while Cartman expertly kept his face blank and uninterested. Annie bit her lip, “You know.. that you guys are, like, a thing now.” Kyle and Cartman exchanged a look, then both burst out laughing. “That’s retarded,” The tall brunette chuckled, “he’s a ginger.” Kyle just jerked his thumb at Cartman as if his words were answer enough, “Like I would ever date this asshole. That’d be insane!”

Other people were looking and whispering amongst themselves. Annie and Nichole didn’t look satisfied with that because they weren’t sure their question had been answered, but Kyle and Cartman just moved on down the hall. They had to part ways at Cartman’s first period classroom, and Kyle teasingly waved, “Bye, fatass!” The bigger teen laughed and quipped back, “Go to class, Jewboy!” Stan appeared beside Kyle, rolling his eyes and dragging him off, “You’re already having way too much fun with this.” The students left in the hallway were in a state of even deeper confusion.

Bebe was in Cartman’s first period, which he didn’t usually care about, but today she was boring holes into the side of his head. She was angrily chewing on a pencil, so viciously that Cartman easily imagined her reducing it to splinters like a beaver. He had to repress a snort lest it aggravate her further. Someone behind him tapped his shoulder and he glanced back in surprise. Usually nobody talked in this class, mostly because it was the beginning of the day and people were still waking up. “What?” He whispered to Jimmy Valmer, who was leaned forward over the desk to speak to him. “Dude, are you d-dating Kyle?” Jimmy asked almost incredulously. Cartman rolled his eyes, “Don’t ask stupid questions, Jimmy.”

“That’s n-not an answ- not an answer,” Jimmy narrowed his eyes at him. “Sure it is,” Cartman shrugged, turning back around. Bebe was still staring at him. He met her gaze with a raised eyebrow, almost challenging her to say something. “Cartman. Stevens. Do you two need time alone?” The teacher scolded them, crossing his arms over his chest. Bebe scowled down at her desk as Cartman just laughed at the irony.

By lunch time, both Cartman and Kyle were smirking stupidly. As they neared the table together, Kyle nudged his arm and said, “Dude, people keep asking me if we’re dating.” Cartman snickered, shit-eating grin full force as he replied, “Gross, as if.” Kenny rolled his eyes, “Yeah, yeah, your inside joke is hilarious. Listen, I have some great news.” He waited for Stan and Wendy to join them before excitedly announcing, “There’s a storm front coming in on Thursday and everything’s supposed to be closed, but I convinced Token to host a blizzard party on Wednesday night.”

“Don’t bring your Winnie the Pooh merch,” Cartman muttered to Kyle, who snorted and covered his mouth to keep from laughing. “You said you’d go if I got him to do it!” Kenny reminded the brunette, who rolled his eyes and nodded. “I know, I know. I’m going, okay?” Cartman assured him. Kenny nodded, pleased. Kyle looked a little conflicted over this news. Usually, parties weren’t his thing, and the couple times he’d gone to them was because Stan begged him to. Cartman noticed his focused but blank expression, “Hey, you’re gonna come, right?” Kyle fiddled with his jacket sleeve nervously, “Um.. I don’t know, honestly. I’m not really a party person.”

Cartman subtly squeezed his hand, “Come on, Kyle. If I’m going, you have to go. Otherwise, who’s gonna make sure I don’t accidentally kill myself? Not Kenny.” Kyle bit his lip to hide a smile, squeezing back and rolling his eyes, “Okay, okay, fine. I’ll go.” Cartman nodded, “Good. Now if you’ll excuse me, I better get to Mr Mackey’s office before he has to come find me. I got lucky with just lunch detention this time, I don’t wanna push my luck.”

* * *

“Tracy, I got in a fight,” Cartman was sitting in his usual chair in front of Dr Stuart, staring down at the floor with one leg propped up on his knee. Dr Stuart frowned, “What kind of fight?” He rolled his tongue around in his mouth as he cleared his throat. “A fist fight,” He clarified, refusing to meet her eyes, “I punched a kid. And… accidentally elbowed Kyle in the face…”

“Eric,” Dr Stuart sounded so disappointed, he had to rub his forehead to keep from tearing up. She sighed, “What happened?” Cartman shifted in his seat, raising his head to look at the ceiling and still avoiding her, “Kevin Stoley called my mom a prostitute. I got angry and hit him. And.. Kyle grabbed my arm to stop me from hitting him again and I just.. jerked my arm back on reflex..” After hearing the explanation, Dr Stuart looked less disappointed and more understanding, but she still shook her head, “I understand why you got upset about that, but violence isn’t how you resolve that type of conflict.”

Cartman nodded rapidly, “I know.. I’m sorry..” Dr Stuart’s face softened, and she smiled lightly, “You’re allowed to defend yourself and those you care about, Eric. Don’t think you can’t. But letting it escalate to a physical altercation is going to be harder for you to calm down from.” The brunette nodded again, taking a shaky breath before saying, “Kyle helps.” The therapist smiled wider, clicking her pen and writing something down before asking, “Did he get angry that you elbowed him?” Cartman grunted, shaking his head, “No. No, he knew it was an accident. In fact, I think he blamed himself for trying to step in. Jew’s too compassionate.” Dr Stuart scribbled something on her clipboard, then set her pen and paper aside to fold her hands in her lap, “How is your relationship with him? Have you told your friends yet?” That pulled a chuckle from the burly teen, “We told Kenny, and then Kyle told Stan. And we had sort of an argument with this girl Bebe, who we all know likes Kyle, but he doesn’t like her, so he told her that we were together. She freaked out and apparently told a bunch of people at school. But honestly? It’s kinda funny to watch people wonder about it.”

Cartman’s expression melted into a relaxed and adoring smile, one Dr Stuart had never seen him wear, “They have no idea what he’s like when we’re alone. No idea how he makes me feel, and it’s funny to see them making assumptions and whispering to each other like they’ve got this big secret when really, they know absolutely nothing.” He licked his lips, fidgeting with a loose string on his pants, “He dyed the tips of his hair green, so he looks like a real carrot top. I fucking died laughing.” Dr Stuart looked amused, “He did that for you, I assume?”

“Yeah..” Cartman stared at nothing as he briefly zoned out, still smiling. After a few beats of silence with the brunette resting his head on his hand, he gave a dazed sigh, “He uses my first name during sex.” Dr Stuart blinked in shock, then cleared her throat, “Uh, that’s not appropriate for me to hear, Eric.” He blushed and bit his lip, shrugging apologetically, “Sorry. It just makes me happy.” She shook her head, eyebrows raised as she shuffled some papers around, “That’s nice for you, but let’s stick to relevant topics, please.” Cartman just nodded.

“Let’s go back to something you said a moment ago,” Dr Stuart suggested, “do you regularly call him a Jew?” Cartman blinked, unsure how to answer at first, “Sometimes, yeah. He is. I mean, I don’t mean it as an insult anymore. It’s almost a pet name, if I’m being honest.” His therapist hummed, “And he knows you don’t mean it maliciously?”

Cartman furrowed his brow, now questioning it himself, “I.. I think he does. I mean, he calls me names back, usually. Fatass, asshole, other curse words. It’s like a joke between us.” Dr Stuart nodded slowly, “I see. Well, as long as you’re both in agreement that it’s harmless. I suggest that you ask him about it, however. Maybe it’s not as harmless to him as you think.” Cartman knew what she was doing, trying to teach him a lesson about name calling or whatever. The thing was, because it was regarding Kyle, it was actually working. He didn’t want to offend Kyle, not really. He bit his lip, looking down at the floor as he relented, “Okay.”

* * *

Since Kenny was donating most of the ‘supplies’ for the party, he had to be there early. He asked Cartman to help him move stuff, since he didn’t have a car and he didn’t want to have to make multiple trips on foot. They currently had two boxes each, standing on the Black’s porch and not looking suspicious at all. Token answered the door and waved them in, smiling as he greeted them, “Hey, guys. You can put that right over here.” They set the boxes on the counter Token designated. Cartman pretended not to notice the subtle, questioning look he was getting.

“I didn’t think you’d come tonight, Cartman,” Token admitted. The brunette snorted, shoving Kenny’s shoulder playfully, “I wouldn’t, but I made a promise, so here I am.” Token ran a hand back over his buzz cut, chuckling, “Right. Well, we can use your height to put the lights up, anyway.” Token was a football player and matched Cartman in weight and build, but he still wasn’t quite as tall. “Lights,” Cartman whistled, “going all out this time, huh?” The running back nodded, going through the boxes to see what Kenny had decided to bring. “Jesus, dude, you didn’t have to go this hard,” He laughed. Kenny shrugged, leaning on the counter and wiggling his eyebrows, “It’s gonna be a bash, lemme tell you.”

“No kidding,” Token snorted, getting out two coolers to fill with ice and booze. “So,” He started, making himself busy as he asked, “are Kyle and Stan coming?” Cartman and Kenny both knew Token knew Stan would be there. He and Wendy never missed a party, even if it sucked balls. Cartman didn’t miss the glance he got. So Token was also curious. He stretched and yawned nonchalantly, “You know Stan will. Kyle, who knows? UV lights would probably melt his ginger skin or some shit.” Token looked mildly disappointed that he didn’t get a straight answer, but he didn’t comment, “Well, we’ve got about an hour before people are supposed to start showing up, so let’s get this shit done.”

They spent the next forty-five minutes putting up lights, moving furniture to have more dancing room, and making sure the wireless speakers were evenly spread around the main floor. They briefly argued on music, but Kenny’s variety playlist ultimately won out. A few people showed up early just to hang out before the scene got too hectic. One other person also made a not-so-subtle comment about Kyle in front of Cartman, but he didn’t give them the satisfaction of a direct answer. He shrugged, “We’ll see.”

Bebe and Heidi came together, surprisingly, since they assumed Bebe wasn’t on talking terms with anyone there that Saturday night. Bebe looked annoyed that Cartman was there, but he didn’t pay any attention to her. He was pregaming with Kenny, Token, and Clyde Donovan when she approached. “How long are you planning on keeping this lie up?” She put her hands on her hips. Cartman scrunched up his nose, sipping on an aluminum can, “What lie?”

“This lie about you and Kyle,” She sneered. Cartman raised his eyebrows, blinking and feigning innocence, “Your lie or my lie?” Bebe puffed out her cheeks, turning a deep shade of crimson as she spit angrily, “Your lie, fatass! I didn’t lie about anything. You and Kyle are pretending to date just to get to me.” Cartman snorted into his beer, “That’s a weird lie.” The other three were watching intently as Bebe stomped her foot on the ground and pointed at Cartman accusingly, “Stop evading the question! Are you or are you not dating Kyle Broflovski?” Cartman wrinkled his nose and leaned away from her, “Your breath stinks like cheap mouth wash and I’m not drunk enough to tolerate it. Here.” He grabbed another beer from the cooler and held it out to her.

Bebe was fuming by now, whipping around on her heels and stalking off angrily. “I’m.. really confused,” Clyde admitted, watching her walk off. “She’s delusional,” Cartman shrugged. Clyde furrowed his brow, “But.. does that mean that you’re lying about dating Kyle or that you’re lying about not dating Kyle?” The brunette pushed off the counter he was leaning on as she saw Wendy’s car pull up through the window. She and Stan were supposed to pick up Kyle. “Clyde’s got the real questions,” Cartman finger gunned at them before moving off. Token and Clyde looked around for Kenny to explain, but he’d already slunk off to follow Cartman.

Stan, Wendy, and Kyle walked in the front door to be greeted by cheers. The music hadn’t started to pick up yet because it was still early, but people were already dancing regardless. “Oh, you made it!” Cartman teased as he threw an arm around Kyle’s shoulders and ruffled his hair. The redhead rolled his eyes, shoving the bigger teen off him, “Yeah, yeah. Don’t fuck up my hair.” To anyone else, he might have sounded annoyed, but Cartman saw the faint smirk on his lips and twinkle in his eyes. Kenny was watching Heidi across the room. He licked his lips, “Guys, I think I’m gonna ask Heidi out tonight.”

Wendy looked unsurprised, chuckling, “You should.” Kyle furrowed his brow, “Is that really a good idea? I mean, you saw how possessive Stoley is of her and I wasn’t even making any moves.” The stoner scoffed, “Please, Stoley wouldn’t dare touch me. Not if he wants to keep buying. Honestly, the scumbag would probably try to _trade_ Heidi to me in exchange for a baggie.” He squared his shoulders and brushed a hand back through his hair, giving them all a wink before strolling over to speak to her.

As it got later in the night and more people arrived, the music was eventually turned up to bass blasting volume. Stan and Wendy had quickly claimed a space on the couch to make out. Kenny and Heidi had disappeared a long time ago to do God knows what. Kyle was left sitting at the kitchen counter with Cartman and a couple guys who were arguing over whatever the current sports season was. The ginger hadn’t even finished one beer yet. He didn’t like the taste and was really only sipping on it to look like he was busy. Cartman took the can from him and set it aside, “Come on, let’s find something you actually like. Hey, Token! Where’d you put the hard liquor?”

Token came over to get a few bottles out, which prompted the crowd closest to the kitchen to start chanting for shots. “I don’t know, dude,” Kyle looked skeptical as Token poured two shots of some clear liquor and slid it over to him and Cartman. “Look, you’re not even supposed to taste it,” The brunette reassured him, knocking back his shot and then chasing it with a gulp of sprite that suddenly existed. Kyle raised an eyebrow as he eyed the remaining shot glass. “Come on, Kyle!” Craig called from somewhere in the crowd. He wrinkled his nose, then the Jew picked up the shot glass and took a breath. He threw it back and reached for the sprite, washing the afterburn down easily.

He felt a clap on his back as the alcohol spread pleasant warmth throughout his body. “Nice,” Token praised, then made some sort of concoction in red solo cups and started passing them out. Kyle took one because it was handed to him; Cartman got one, too. Kenny appeared from nowhere with Heidi glued to his side. His hair was messier than earlier and they both had the beginnings of hickeys forming, but he was there on a different mission now. “Get up, Cartman, we’re dancing,” He basically demanded. Cartman scoffed and rolled his eyes but did it anyway.

Kyle’s eyes tracked them as they moved over to the dance floor. The more he drank of his cocktail, the less he tasted it, and it was gone soon enough. He hummed to the music, bobbing on his seat while watching Kenny and Cartman start some line dance he didn’t recognize. When it was over, the burly teen approached him once more, making Kyle break out into a wide grin. He was still subtly bobbing to the music, “Where did you learn to dance?”

“I didn’t,” Cartman admitted, chuckling, “I’ve just done it a lot.” Kyle hummed, his eyelids heavy and head feeling light. “Wow, are you already drunk?” Cartman laughed, leaning next to him. Kyle giggled, “I think so.” Cartman bit his lip, leaning closer to him and speaking loud enough he could hear but that his voice was also hidden under the music, “Do you want to dance, Jew?” He got a nod in response, “Yeah, but I’m not very good at it and I’d probably just make a fool of myself.”

The bigger boy smiled, setting his cup down and grabbing Kyle’s wrist. He dragged him off the stool he occupied, pushing through the crowd to get to the basement stairs. He turned on the light as they descended, knowing Token’s house well enough by now. There was no one down here because the upstairs rooms were the ones people liked to fuck in, and the ceiling was so thin that the music was still crystal clear from above. “What are we doing?” Kyle slurred, nose crinkled in confusion. Cartman pulled him against his chest, “Didn’t you want to dance?”

Kyle’s face split in a happy grin, following Cartman’s lead as they moved to the music. Near the end of the song, Cartman buried his face against the side of Kyle’s neck and held him close, internally chuckling at the smell of alcohol and mint on his breath. “Hey, Kyle?” He mumbled quietly, hands on his hips. “Hmm?” The ginger hummed in answer, eye half lidded. He had one hand in Cartman’s hair, twisting his fingers around the short strands; the other hand was on his shoulder. “Does it bother you when I call you a Jew or make fun of your hair?” Cartman asked, thumbing Kyle’s hip idly. “No,” Kyle easily denied, snorting, “not anymore than it bothers you when I call you an asshole. It’s kinda funny, actually. I know you’re just doing it out of habit and to try and seem like there’s still some rivalry between us.”

“isn’t there?” Cartman pulled back to look down at him, an amused smile on his face. The Jewish boy raised a coy eyebrow, reaching up to cup the brunette’s cheeks, “Please. It’s fun to bicker, but neither of us mean it.” Cartman grinned, leaning down to initiate a kiss and ignoring the fact that Kyle tasted like liquor and toothpaste. He wasn’t much better, he was sure.

A camera shutter pulled them a part. They looked to the stairs to see a good pile of people staring at them over, through, and around the stair bannister. Some looked amazed, some were obviously disgusted, and some were trying not to laugh. Clyde was in the front with his phone held up, the red light blinking and indicating he was videoing. “Dammit, Craig,” Somebody scolded, implying he was the one who took the picture. “What the fuck are you all looking at?” Cartman glared at them. The group scattered back up the stairs, no doubt to tell the rest of the party goers what they saw.

Kyle hummed indifferently, leaning on Cartman for support “Well, that’s out.” The bigger teen sighed, “Not exactly a grand reveal but I guess it works. You ready to go face them?” Kyle nodded, smiling widely. They ascended the stairs and were immediately stared at. Bebe looked a mixture of smug and still irritated as she stood in front of them, “Now everybody thinks you’re a couple, congratulations. Are you ready to admit your lie now?”

Kyle wrinkled his nose, looking up at Cartman with eyes so narrowed they were basically closed, “Is she still on this?” He was drunkenly hanging off the burly teen’s arm, slurring as he nuzzled his shoulder. Kenny laughed from somewhere in the back of the crowd, his outburst obnoxious and a clear sign he was high now. “So, wait,” Token spoke for everyone as he asked, “you guys are for real?” Cartman gave him a look and then turned to Kyle, giving him a quick kiss on the lips. Kyle’s drunk ass tried to follow as he pulled back, giggling stupidly and very red in the face. “Yeah, we’re for real,” Cartman chuckled, rolling his eyes as Kyle cheered happily, “We’re boyfriends!” It was the first time they’d ever called it anything official, but it felt right.

“And you’re a light weight!” Stan called from the couch where he and Wendy had been making out pretty much all night. “That, too!” Was Kyle’s very serious response, his lips curled under like he was trying not to laugh. “No!” Bebe protested, “this is ridiculous!”

“Oh, sh-shut the f-fu-fuck up, Bebe,” Jimmy sneered at her from the beer pong table they’d set up some time ago. “Thank you,” Kyle sniffed, grabbing a red solo cup from a line of them on the kitchen counter and taking a big gulp of it. “Okay, I think you’re done,” Cartman chuckled, taking the cup from him. Kyle just giggled more. Now that the truth was out and it was no longer gossip, most people seemed to lose interest pretty quickly. They got a few questions, but for the most part, it was just teasing remarks and catcalls the rest of the night.

Around three in the morning, people started either leaving or passing out. The few remaining who were coherent moved down to the basement to watch movies and talk quietly until they also crashed. Kyle was curled up in Cartman’s lap, sat in an armchair by the television. The ginger was snoring loudly, his face pressed to the brunette’s shoulder. Cartman was bordering on unconscious himself, staring at nothing as he cradled Kyle close. Craig and Tweek were laid out on the couch beside them. Craig was totally asleep, a ragdoll on top of Tweek, who’d barely drank anything all night. “Hey, Cartman?” The spazzy blonde glanced over. He got a tired grunt in acknowledgement that Cartman was listening. “Can you tell Kyle I told you so for me?” Tweek smirked. Cartman barely had the energy to laugh, nodding and smiling. He probably wouldn’t remember by morning, but the idea was amusing.

He glanced down at Kyle, lazily kissing his forehead and combing his fingers through his hair. The dye had started to wash out already. The ginger hummed in his sleep, pleased by the action of Cartman’s fingers. He chuckled tiredly, closing his eyes and resting his head back to succumb to the hangover that awaited them tomorrow.


	8. Bonus Boning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is literally just smut, it has almost nothing to do with the rest of the story at all c: You’re welcome.

After the blizzard party Token had put on, and the less-than-grand announcing of their relationship by Kyle and Cartman, it quickly became old news. Mostly because since they were publicly dating now, expecting any decency between he two was downright outrageous. The PDA was sickening enough without the fierce make out sessions and borderline public indecency the couple was prone to. It almost made their peers miss the arguing and fist fights. And breaking them up once they were going at it was completely out of the question. Stan had once tried to interrupt while they were basically dry humping against Kyle’s locker and what he got for his efforts was a nasty bout of expletives from the ginger and spitefully more aggressive petting. He never wanted to hear Cartman make that sound ever again. _Ever._

Lunch time usually went one of two ways; either Kyle would sit on Cartman’s lap and they’d act like they weren’t being disgustingly affectionate while they ate with everyone, or they would be entirely absent, and someone would spot them later with fresh hickeys and crooked, blissed smiles. The rest of the school year went like that.

Summer break had started two weeks ago. The window to Cartman’s room was cracked because the heat was starting to pick up, but not enough for the air conditioning to be turned on just yet. They were supposed to be watching movies; at least, that’s what Kyle told his mom he was going over there to do. The TV was on, but it was lost in the background of a scene they were both much more interested in. Kyle’s hat and pants were thrown haphazardly on the floor somewhere, his shirt hooked behind his head out of the way and his underwear hanging off one ankle. Cartman was shirtless, sitting against the wall at the head of the bed with Kyle’s legs around his waist and the redhead laid out on his back so his head was between the taller boy’s calves.

Kyle’s hair was sticking out all over the place, Cartman’s shirt between his teeth and his hands white knuckling the brunette’s knees. This position was new- Cartman’s idea -but Kyle had absolutely no complaints. He already had two new hickeys on his neck and three more on his thighs. He wasn’t sure why, but Cartman was being extra attentive today. “Fmck,” Kyle puffed and moaned around the shirt, his hips squirming as Cartman slowly stroked him. They were going on ten minutes and he wouldn’t pick up the fucking pace. It was driving Kyle crazy. Not to mention, Cartman had undone the front of his own pants a long time ago and Kyle could feel his stiff member rubbing against his ass every time he bucked his hips. It wasn’t helping.

Kyle shakily took the shirt out of his mouth to hiss, “Will you go faster? You’re actually making me sweat buckets.” Cartman quirked an eyebrow, unbothered and unhurried as he smirked down at Kyle. He shook his head, brushing his thumb over the tip and purring infuriatingly, “Put that shirt back in your mouth, cutie. I’m not even close to done yet.” Kyle didn’t have a choice if he didn’t want Liane to hear the pitiful whine he let out. The pet names were new, too. Over the last few months, Cartman had slowly been replacing his weightless insults with actual nicknames and affectionate terms for Kyle. His favorites consisted of sweetheart, cutie, and carrot top.

Kyle whimpered and moaned behind his gag, his legs shaking so much they were on the verge of cramping. His hands were restless, sometimes grasping at Cartman’s legs and sometimes in his own hair. Cartman was doing a really good job of keeping the pleasure stagnant enough that his orgasm wasn’t getting any closer, but it still made his whole body tingle. He couldn’t feel his toes anymore, but he was painfully aware of the throbbing in his groin. His head was spinning as he stared at the ceiling, eyes glazed. There was a knock on Cartman’s door, but Laine had learned not to open it without explicit permission. “Eric, I’m going out for a while,” Liane called through the wood, “do you and Kyle need anything?”

“No, we’re fine, Mom,” Cartman’s voice was unfairly even, eyes trained on Kyle’s face as his hand stopped just under the head. That was never a good sign. Kyle barely flicked his eyes down in time to see Cartman lick his fingers and then proceed to rub and pinch the tip of his cock. The ginger jerked, his yelp almost loud enough to escape the shirt. Cartman shushed him teasingly, a shit-eating grin on his face. “Okay,” Liane was still there, “I’ll be back late tonight. There’s leftover lasagna in the fridge still.” Cartman briefly smiled at that, as if he had the brain function to think about anything other than his fat fingers kneading the head of Kyle’s dick; making the redhead writhe and twitch and whine helplessly. His mom’s footsteps were loud in her heels as she descended the stairs. Only when the front door opened and closed did Kyle spit the shirt out of his mouth and arch his head back with a loud gasp, “Fuck, Eric, I swear to God…!”

Cartman bit his lip at that, shifting his hips slightly. Kyle knew how he could get to him, and the only thing keeping that in check was Liane’s presence in the house. But she was gone now. Kyle licked his lips, raising his head and batting his eyelashes at the taller boy as he moaned, “Please.. please, Eric, I want more..” He felt Cartman tense, his dick twitching against Kyle’s ass. “More?” He tried to sound nonchalant, but his voice was already strained. Kyle nodded, tilting his head cutely and twirling a strand of red hair around his index finger. The dye had washed out a long time ago. He hissed as Cartman resumed his slow stroking, “Please.. please, more.. Eric..”

Cartman knew exactly what he was doing, but it was working anyway. He cursed under his breath, licking his lips and glancing down to Kyle’s stiff erection and the coarse, red hair at the base. He swallowed, holding up two fingers, “Okay, fine. Two options.” His hand stopped, to Kyle’s irritation, but he just narrowed his eyes and nodded to say he was listening. Cartman licked his lips, taking a breath, “I can keep going like this and give you what you want. But I had something else planned.” Kyle tipped his head curiously, eyes blinking, “What else?” Cartman got a sly grin on his face, shifting his legs out from under Kyle so he could push him further down the bed and lean over his hips. His breath ghosted on his member, already slick with precum, and Kyle bit his tongue to stifle a moan. “I want you to finish,” Cartman cooed up at him, “but I want you to finish twice.”

“Twice?” Kyle furrowed his brow, sitting up on his elbows. He knew it could happen. Sometimes they barely waited between sessions, it wouldn’t be too farfetched to purposefully make it happen twice in a row. Still, he looked skeptical, “I don’t know, dude. Doesn’t that hurt?” Cartman shrugged, resting his cheek on Kyle’s thigh, “Depends on the person. Doesn’t hurt me.” The Jew looked surprised at that, raising his eyebrows. He glanced out the window for a moment, then bit his lip as he turned back to Cartman, “I guess we can try.. If it’s too much, though, you gotta stop when I tell you.” The brunette nodded fervently, nuzzling Kyle’s belly, “Of course, sweetheart, I wouldn’t hurt you on purpose.”

A few years ago, that might’ve been sarcasm. Now, Kyle knew he meant it with every fiber of his being. He sighed, laying back down and swallowing thickly, “Okay.” Cartman grinned, kissing down Kyle’s belly and wasting no time in swallowing his cock. Kyle yelped and arched his hips off the mattress, his fingers automatically tangling themselves in brunette hair. For as many times as Cartman had done this, he was good at it by now. With all the foreplay they’d already done, Kyle’s nerves were wired and sensitive. He was riding that edge sooner than he expected, panting and moaning loudly. He tried to warn Cartman by tugging on his hair (an unspoken arrangement they’d both come to), but the burly brunette didn’t pull back. In fact, he sunk all the way down until his nose was buried in Kyle’s pubic hair and the redhead was cumming down his throat. He slurped back up, wiping his mouth and swallowing as Kyle stared at him with eyes as big as saucers. “Jesus Christ,” The Jewish boy whimpered breathlessly. Cartman chuckled under his breath, “I don’t think there’s room for him here.”

Kyle scoffed and rolled his eyes, dropping his head back and enjoying the feeling of floating. His body was singing with how satisfying that release was. Cartman crawled up over him, kissing at his chest and neck, propping Kyle’s leg up so he could grind against it. The ginger kissed over his forehead and into his hair, hands roaming his neck and shoulders as Cartman shoved his pants down and off. The brunette had his face pressed to Kyle’s neck, panting and puffing, when Kyle felt him palm over his spent cock. At first, the touch was jarring and made him jerk and hiss. But Cartman was gentle and slow, massaging more than anything. Kyle found it strange that it was starting to feel good, especially when he realized he was getting hard all over again

He groaned his approval, rocking his hips. After a few minutes of lazy teasing, Cartman shifted the ginger’s leg out of the way and settled fully on top of him. Kyle hummed at his weight, caressing over his face and neck. He kissed his cheek as Cartman pressed their foreheads together, wrapping Kyle’s legs around his waist and rocking him into the mattress. “You good?” His voice was raspy and wrecked. Kyle chuckled, kneading the muscles of Cartman’s back and nodding, “Yeah.. keep going..” The bed creaked with their movements.

Kyle liked this position best, with Cartman pressing him into the bed and moaning against his neck. It made him feel worshipped. Which he was, to an extent. Cartman was usually very adamant on Kyle getting the most attention; and finishing first. There were rare occasions where he would let Kyle be the one to smother _him_ in affection, and the ginger relished those, too. But this was perfect and usually preferred by both. Kyle had all the real power while Cartman had all the opportunity to make him squirm and practically scream those sweet noises he loved so much.

“I’m close,” Cartman whispered against his skin, reaching between to stroke them both together. Kyle sighed and shuddered, nodding to say he was right behind him. His second orgasm was just as intense as the first, made better by Cartman cursing under his breath as he followed him over the edge this time. “Wow,” Kyle chuckled shakily. “I love you,” Cartman purred, rubbing his face against Kyle’s chest. The Jew grinned, kissing the top of his head, “I love you, too.”

“Happy birthday.”

Kyle blanched, jaw hanging open as he stared at Cartman’s grinning face. Then he burst into a fit of laughter, cheeks hurting from smiling so wide, “Are you kidding me? I was wondering why you were being so-.. extra special.” Cartman shrugged, smirking, “You didn’t think I’d remember?”

“It’s not that,” Kyle chuckled, “I just didn’t expect anything for it. I haven’t liked celebrating my birthday since middle school.” Cartman sat up, reaching for the tissues on his nightstand as he said, “You haven’t even seen your gift yet.” Kyle watched him clean them up, brow furrowed in surprise, “Wait, you got me a gift? Like an actual thing?” Cartman got up off the bed, pulling his underwear back on and rummaging through a drawer on his desk, “Sort of. I made it.” Kyle didn’t know how to respond, sitting up and putting his own underwear back on as he waited. When he’d found what he was looking for, Cartman sat next to him on the bed. He handed Kyle a thin present wrapped in newspaper with a little post-it note that read ‘for my favorite Jew’. Kyle rolled his eyes affectionately, easily ripping the paper off.

He stared down at the wooden picture frame decorated with the little photobooth pictures they’d take at prom. Framed in the center was a photo of Kyle and Cartman at Stark Pond, holding handfuls of rocks they’d been skipping and sitting on the tailgate of Stan’s new truck. Kyle was pretty sure Kenny took this picture after proclaiming they looked like a stock photo gay couple. Cartman had an arm around Kyle’s shoulders, a genuine grin on his face that the redhead mirrored. Kyle shook his head, avoiding look at Cartman as he sniffed, “You made this?”

Cartman nodded, “I did the frame in woodshop before the end of the semester. Took me like six tries to get the size right, dude, I have so many empty picture frames now.” Kyle laughed, his voice bubbly. He leaned against the bigger teen, wiping his nose and sighing happily, “Thank you.” Cartman kissed the top of his head, “You’re welcome. I love you, Kyle.” The redhead set the picture aside, turning to face the brunette now as he hugged around his neck. He pecked his lips, an unbridled grin splitting his face, “I love you, too, Eric.”


End file.
